Oblivious teenage girl: Are strip cubs illegal?
Less oblivious friend: Um, no. Why would you think that?
Oblivious teenage girl: Cuz while I was going out with Matt he said something about a strip club getting busted.
Less oblivious friend: You went out with Matt? You slut!
Oblivious teenage girl: No, if I was a slut I would have known whether strip clubs are illegal or not.
–Central Park
Loud woman on cell: And then he had the nerve to ask me if it was cause he's black! I was like, "it's not cause you're black, it's cause you slept with that stripper!"
–Starbucks
Midwestern grandmother, seeing granddaughter play on subway: She's working on her pole dancing, just like her mother.
–E Train
Young Asian guy, telling stripper what he does for a living: Do you even know what a hedge fund is?
–Strip Club, Queens
Thug to girlfriend, pointing at totem pole in museum: You know what those be? Fancy stripper poles! (makes techno music noise with his mouth)
–Museum of Natural History
Blonde chick on cell: Oh my god, Mike, just fuck her and get over yourself, I really don't care! (hangs up, to friend) I don't understand why my boyfriend keeps calling me asking me if it would break my heart if he slept with the stripper we met at the bar on Saturday.
–NYU
Overheard by: i wish i had me a girl like that
Serious, tired, cute guy on cell: So you remember the stripper that has been hassling me? Well, I went out with her and her girlfriend on Tuesday, and stuff got out of hand… really out of hand–like Budapest out of hand! (pause) I don't know, but I woke up in fucking New York City!
–Penn Station
Lady to dog: Pee! Pee! Pee! Poo on the universe!
–E 9th St
Overheard by: Jen
Well-dressed woman to little dog: Baby, those are cars. Cars are not our friends. You must always stay away from them… Are you listening to me?
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Murphy
Woman, shrieking at barking dogs: Stop being crazy!
–Central Park
Overheard by: NB
Woman to Shih Tzu: Yo! I'm walking you, you're not walking me–calm down!
–109 & Manhattan Ave
Dog walker to dog, ranting: Bailey, I am so angry with you! (dog wags tail) Don't you even look at me right now! (yanks dog's leash) I'm taking the television out of your room! No more American Idol for you! (storms across street)
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: allison
Woman to dog sniffing random things: Focus. Fo-cus. Shit.
–Melrose & Wilson
Overheard by: richhorner.com
20-something man, during West Side Story, when Tony climbs in bed with Maria: Get it, son!
–Palace Theatre
Old man, leaving theater after seeing Hair: I told you we should have seen Mary Poppins.
–45th & 8th
Overheard by: Leela
Girl, looking at a barricaded rally: Oh my god, it is so Les Miz up in here.
–48th St & 6th Ave
Long Island woman to friend, leaving the theater after Mary Poppins: That wasn't anything like the movie. The movie had cartoons, this was real people.
–Amsterdam Theater, 42nd & Broadway
Overheard by: MikeyMouse
Man to friend, during Waiting for Godot: Oh my god, you know what would make me really pissed? I'd be so angry if that Godot guy didn't show up at the end of the play.
–Studio 54
Woman to husband, during Waiting for Godot: Is this a musical?
–Studio 54
Overheard by: Hannah
Thug teenager to woman shoving umbrella between doors to keep them open: Shit, woman! You'd best pull that umbrella out. This ain't no number train, we will leave yo ass!
–R Train
Very excited middle-aged woman hearing doo-wop singers board train: Woooo! Music train!
–R Train
Overheard by: astoria mets fan
Girl on subway car looking at subway map: What, there's no "you are here"?
–A Train
Overheard by: Rins
20-something girl: Ugh, I hate the subway. They need to, like, invent a, like, above-ground transportation system!
–6 Train
Man walking onto train, slowly: All the premium seats are taken.
–A Train
Overheard by: glad i'm in first class
Gay guy: You know what's so cute, is Europe.
–Mott & Prince
Overheard by: Anna P.
College girl to friend: And I'm like "No, you can't chew on the couch. You can't have couch for breakfast." (pause) But what about you, are there any cute guys in your dorm?
–Downtown 1 Train
Girl on phone: Oh-h-h-h my gawd, girl, you don't even know! And then he goes "Damn, girl you in Delta Gamma? Nothing goes down faster than an anchor!" And then I was just like "Shut up!" but I did it anyways, I mean… he was cute.
–Gates to Fordham University
Man on cell picking through garbage can and walking away with trash in hand: Oh my god, I just found the cutest belt in a trash can! Honestly, the things people throw away!
–118th St & Amsterdam Ave
Gay guy marching in protest to another: The guys in this protest are much cuter than at the last protest I attended.
–63rd St & Broadway
Preteen emo boy #1: What's “gonorrhea”?
Preteen emo boy #2: An STD.
Preteen emo boy #1: Seriously? I thought it was a species of fish!
–Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum
Yelling hobo to 20-something women: Do you love Jesus?! Jesus loves you!
Woman #1: No… apparently he doesn't. We're lesbians.
Yelling hobo: Lesbians?! Does your mama know?! Does your mama know you're a faggot?
Woman #2: Uuuh… her's mom's a lesbian, too.
Yelling hobo: What!? What would Jesus think of this?
Woman #1: Actually, Jesus is in my stomach!
–53rd & 9th
Guy, bitching to older woman about roommate: I see her maybe once every ten days.
Woman: Is she a dominatrix?
Guy: No, she's just a dumbass!
–42nd & 7th
Overheard by: David K.
