Boy: So, why can guys flaunt their sexual conquests and girls can't?
Girl: Well duh, that's just how biology works!
–113th & Broadway
Boy: So, why can guys flaunt their sexual conquests and girls can't?
Girl: Well duh, that's just how biology works!
–113th & Broadway
(a guy is selling brightly colored books titled How to Roll a Blunt for Dummies)
Five-year-old kid: Mommy, whats that book about???
Mother (flustered and pushing him away): Umm…umm…uhhh… Honey, not all books are educational!
–Penn Station
Female lawyer: Did you see that video where that girl from South Carolina was asked why Americans can't read maps?
Male lawyer: Yeah, she was a teenage beauty contestant. I tell you, I've heard drunk girls with two dicks in their mouth make more sense than that bitch.
Female lawyer: Don't call her a bitch. She was probably just nervous.
Male lawyer: Excuse me, she's a beauty contestant. The only difference between a beauty contestant and an inflatable doll is where you blow into them.
Female lawyer: Excuse me, but I was in a few beauty contests when I was a teenager.
Male lawyer: Really? So tell me, why can't Americans read maps?
–Supreme Court, Jamaica
Overheard by: Big Larry
Woman at ATM: Well, she could use a little piece of chocolate in a uniform.
Friend: Who couldn't?
–45th & Lex
(Outside American Apparel)
Dude sitting on bench: How you gonna have me as one of your top 8 friends on MySpace and not hook me up with drugs?
Dude leaving store: Fuck you, nigga.
–Orchard & Houston
Overheard by: pink panties
Girl: Guess what this weekend is?
Guy: Someone's birthday? Every week it's something's fucking birthday.
–42nd St b/w 7th & 8th
Overheard by: yoni
Old black woman: What's this now?
Middle aged black woman: Three Mo Tenors. They're like The Three Tenors. Sing Italian, opera, Broadway, gospel…
Old black woman: So, they're Italian?
Middle aged black woman: No. See that sign? It says Three Mo Tenors. That means they're like us.
–W 42nd St b/w 9th & 10th
Overheard by: MrE1111
Guy: Did you look at my resume?
Girl: Yeah. It was pretty good, but I made a couple of changes. I added “pussy” to your interests.
Guy: Great idea! It makes me sound more diverse.
–Lafayette
Disoriented stranger to random businessman: Excuse me, can you tell me where I can find the bus to New York?
Random businessman: This is New York.
Disoriented stranger: This is?!
Random businessman: Yeah, you're in New York.
Disoriented stranger: Ooh! Really?! Oh, now I see!
–5th Ave & 48th St
Overheard by: Earl Weinz
Drunk guy outside window: Where am I? I know I'm in Brooklyn…
Drunk girl: Yeah, we're in Brooklyn.
Drunk guy: Yeah, but what borough is Brooklyn in?
–Atlantic Avenue
Overheard by: Jonah
