Guy: She *is* stupid. But in this unbelievably sexy way, so you don't even care.
–10th St & 3rd Ave
16-year-old black girl, about Shia LaBeouf: He's the sexiest white boy. I'm gonna rape his ass.
–Battery Park
Teen girl on cell: I would never have sexy mushrooms in front of my mom.
–Time Warner Center
Overheard by: Scott
20-something girl on cell: Nah, I won't play second bitch! She's just mad because I always look nice and keep my sexy up.
–Park Slope
Latin guy behind deli counter: Do you need anything else, ma?
Crazy white lady: Don't call me “ma”! I'm not black, I'm not Spanish! I'm American!
–Key Foods, Park Slope, Brooklyn
Girl #1: What kind of insurance do you have?
Girl #2: Well, Medicaid, but it just got cut off.
Girl #1: What? They tried that shit with me. But I called everyday until they reinstated that shit. Sometimes you just gotta act black. No offense, I can say that because I'm Puerto Rican.
Girl #2: (nods)
–Doctor's Office, Jackson Heights
Small white chick: I'm so horny. All I can think is, “penis penis penis penis.”
Large black gay friend: I know how you feel. That's me, constantly.
Small white chick: Well, it's also me. So I guess we're in the same boat. The same penis-shaped boat.
Large black gay friend: Big, hard, black penis-shaped boat.
Small white chick: That's us. We're in that boat.
Large black gay friend: Is it a motorboat?!
Small white chick: Yes! Of course!
Large black gay friend: Yay!
Small white chick: It is a penis-boat, after all.
Large black gay friend: We're soooo horny… It's kinda gross.
–23rd St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Penisboat
Girl to boyfriend: Two years ago I saw your penis under a bright blue light. And it was small.
–Penn Station
Black guy to black friend: Her father does not want his daughter marrying someone from another race. What, is he scared that the kid will come out black and have a big nose? I'll tell you one thing–he'll have a big dick.
–Bowery & 1st St
Overheard by: Zach B
Man to girl beside him: Mine isn't that big. But it's big enough for what I need it for.
–6th Ave & 9th St
Girl to friend: He had a big penis. It scared me.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: s0uthard
Young teenage boy to another: You're telling me you have an 8.5 inch dick and you don't touch it?
–M21 Bus
Overheard by: zaarah
Collegiate boy to group of friends: Well, if you think about it, if you've met one person you've basically met everyone.
–6th Ave & West 4th St
Overheard by: Lucas
Guy to friend: I went to the anarchists' meeting, but they turned out to just be a group of spoiled, white, middle-class kids.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Kate Deshmukh
Loud lady on cell: Yeah, just meet me here. I'll be in the basement in the sexuality section.
(pause, then even more loudly) Basement! Sex!
–The Strand
Overheard by: April
Redhead girl: No, I totally want you to meet him–I just don't want him to meet you.
–47th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Rick
Woman selling cupcakes on street: 'Scuse me, you wanna buy one? Only a dollar.
Man: No, thank you.
Woman: Is it cause we black? And you white?
–Columbus Ave & 100th St
Girls on bench: Is US weekly magazine, like, the only one that's true?
–Central Park
Man on cell, crossing street: And I told that Jewish cunt that everything she's heard about black men is true, and I'm gonna stick my foot in her fucking mouth.
–46th St & Madison Ave
Bum conversing with Bible-toting teens: Yes, it's in the Bible… But is it true?
–Union Square
Skater boy: Most things aren't true.
–72nd St & Amsterdam
Older woman: I'll go over to the Arab across the street and borrow his machete.
Chubby brunette teenager: Grandma, he's not a Sikh… And he's not Arab. He's Bangladeshi.
Older woman: So they say. Who knows what any of them are?
–Central Park
Young Chinese girl: Nigga!
Mother: Don't say that! You not one of those.
–Produce Market, Forsyth St.
Overheard by: Kaitlen
