Queer: Wow, he’s cute.
Straight guy: Yeah… So, do you want to fuck him?
Queer: No, I want him to fuck me.
–Central Park
Queer: Wow, he’s cute.
Straight guy: Yeah… So, do you want to fuck him?
Queer: No, I want him to fuck me.
–Central Park
Guy on phone: That's not the problem, straight guys who are fatter than me get laid all the time.
–Time Warner Center
Man on cell: Of course I'll recognize you! Unless you got fat!
–Sheep's Meadow, Central Park
Gay black man: Uh uh. Girl, her fat ass will so not make it. You better not bring her here.
–Bleecker & Broadway
Overheard by: fellow fatass
Excited young teen on cell: Dad! Guess what celebrity we just met?! The Weight Watchers lady! No, the old one! Yeah, Kirstie Alley! We got her autograph! She's real fat now! We met her in the chocolate store!
–W Broadway & Spring
Overheard by: JR
Fat chick: Do not tell me I'm not a size 4!
–Central Park West
Overheard by: Rich H
Little girl: Mommy, I’m going to marry Daddy.
Mom: Sorry, honey, turns out Daddy doesn’t like girls. Daddy likes other daddies.
–A train
Twin sister #1, indignantly: I tried to get him the least sexual plant I could find. I mean, a cactus, how much less sexual could you get?
Twin sister #2, thoughtfully: You really can't get any less sexual than a cactus.
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Zora
Evangelist outside gym: You want to be a macho man? Look at Jesus!
–Broadway & Prince
Street evangelist on microphone: Y'all ever see two female pigeons in bed together?
–Fordham Plaza
Very agitated priest: Jesus was a zygote once–what if Mary aborted him?
–St. Luke's Church, Whitestone
Crazy subway evangelist: If god could make me a good crackhead, you best believe he could make me a good preacher.
–E Train
Overheard by: Giggling at crack
Preacher: And that's why your religion is null and void.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Alfie
Female college student: I keep telling you, you’re not gay!
Male college student, sheepish: I know, I know…
–NYU
Ghetto girl: What's wrong wit you?
Hoodlum: Yo, I already told you I was bisexual!
–McClellan St & Sheridan Ave
Overheard by: South Bronx Beat Cop
60-something white woman: They put on a good show. Those Jesuits really know how to party!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Jeff
Gay man to others, about parties: Yeah, I thought about going to the black party, but I'm not that gay!
–7th Ave & 6th St
Overheard by: NottRob
Young woman: I'm twenty-seven. I've never been to a party, a sexy party, where I don't remember who I've slept with.
–21st St & Lexington
Overheard by: Jonas
Chick on cell: I can't. It's my cousin's chihuahua's birthday party.
–28th St & Lexington
Overheard by: sounds like a rager
Girl #1: I’m so pissed, I didn’t even get to sleep last night.
Girl #2 tries to whisper back: It’s not his fault, why didn’t you complain when he was doing it to you.
[elevator goes silent]
–Empire State Building
Overheard by: Chelsea B.
Black woman #1: I think Tony could be your sugar daddy.
Black woman #2: Ummm, no.
Black woman #1: Why not?
Black woman #2: No, I don’t think so.
Black woman #1: Why? You guys get along so well.
Black woman #2: Because I think he has a sugar daddy.
–Office building, Midtown
