Skinny dude: He was shocked!
Fat dude: It's not easy to shock a guy who wrangles trannies for a living.
–Q Train
Skinny dude: He was shocked!
Fat dude: It's not easy to shock a guy who wrangles trannies for a living.
–Q Train
Skinny kid #1: Man, she owned me. It was crazy. There were handcuffs and blood all around. It was crazy!
Skinny kid #2: Wait… What? What are you talking about?
–Elizabeth & Houston
Overheard by: A little worried about this
Blimp girl: Do you think I check out asses too much?
Skinny bimbo: Uhhh…
Blimp girl: But he was just sticking it in my face!
–98th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: assman
20-something skinny hipster girl: I'm in an eating phase. It started on Tuesday, and it'll go until Friday, if I've calculated my lunar cycle correctly.
20-something skinny hipster boy: Yeah, me too… I hadn't eaten for weeks, so I'll probably go til Saturday or Sunday.
20-something skinny hipster girl: What about you?
20-something chubby stoned hipster girl: I don't know what the fuck you guys are talking about. I eat like a normal person.
–Upper East Side
Overheard by: emily darwin
Eight-year-old girl to eight-year-old friend: You see, I love him, but I can't make that kind of commitment right now.
–Carroll Gardens
Lone suit, shaking fists in air: Why do fools fall in love?!
–Wall Street
Overheard by: poisonivy
Woman to neighbor, shouting out of the window: She's an idiot! She knows the man's a fucking bullshit artist, and she's in love with him!
–Hoffman St & 187th
Inebriated, tattooed man on cell: You fuckin' love me?! You fuckin' know what? That's fuckin' unreal, you know why?! Because you fuckin' don't!
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: Cara
Sallow, skinny, melancholy tattooed dude: Looking for love in all the wrong places… That's why I was after her ass.
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Guy to girl: You're going to regret it for the rest of your life if you get the wrong salad.
–SoHo
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Slender waitress to two large customers: Make sure you finish *all* of that! Especially the celery. That's my favorite part! (they look in disgust)
–Applebee's, Astoria
Yoga clothes-clad girl, loudly to friend: It is not a vegetable. It's a legume!
–6th Ave & W 12th St
Man to woman: So I sayz, "Lady, you're my cuppa tea alright, but I like the occasional cucumber, if you know what I'm sayin'…"
–Herald Square
Overheard by: Mira
Gay guy: I saw people coming out of the woods and I was like, "Aghhh! Corn children!"
–8th & 45th
Overheard by: i'd be scared, too
Sarah Jessica Parker's son: Do you know what kind of lettuce she likes?
–Washington Square
Overheard by: Brooke
Obese teen girl: Are you a lesbian?
Skinny teen girl: Why does everyone keep asking me that?
–Central Park
Big girl: Hahahahaha… I don't know about her.
Skinny girl: Well, she did tell me that she wants me to be her only white friend.
Big girl: Oh, you gotta love that.
–Park Ave & 33rd St
Overheard by: Sara
Average 20-something woman: So they ordered from that Chinese place for lunch.
Too-skinny 20-something: Isn't that the third time this week?
Average 20-something woman: I don't understand the fascination with eating from the same place three times a week.
Too-skinny 20-something: I don't understand the fascination with eating a meal three times a week.
–L Train
Overheard by: Rina
Very fat man in suit: Excuse me, miss, could you move your bag so I could sit in that seat?
Thin girl: With all due respect, sir, even if I did move this bag, there's no way your fat ass will fit here.
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: thinks he should try Weight Watchers
Headline by: JohnAustin
Runners-Up:
· “”Let Me Rephrase. Excuse Me, BITCH…”” – Paul Tabachneck
· “New Yorkers: Keeping It Real Since 1886” – Nicole
· “She’ll Be His First Target When He Becomes a Serial Killer” – Muse on the Loose
· “She’ll Gain 200 Pounds When She Gets Pregnant” – Vanessa
· “Southwest Airlines Has Already Made This Point” – Michellinator
· “Under a Fat Man, Nobody Can Hear You Scream” – Trey Jackson
· “Weigh Watchers Has a New Recruiting Campaign Called “Honesty”” – Lauren
