[Skinny girl takes box of equal out of her pocket and puts half the packages in her coffee.]Friend: What are you doing? You’re going to get cancer!
Equal girl: Yeah, but I won’t get fat.
–Starbucks
[Skinny girl takes box of equal out of her pocket and puts half the packages in her coffee.]Friend: What are you doing? You’re going to get cancer!
Equal girl: Yeah, but I won’t get fat.
–Starbucks
Catholic school girl #1: This is totally a third person situation right now, but I really think that some people are discriminatory against smokers. I mean, we really shouldn’t have go outside to smoke. What, are you going to ask a girl with Tourette’s to go spaz outside?
Catholic school girl #2: Did you actually just compare smoking to Tourette Syndrome?
–Convent of the Sacred Heart
Overheard by: Overachiever catholic school girl
Black woman in trashy outfit: And he said "But the party just started, bitch, I'll take you in a few hours!" and I was like, "Nigga please! My water just broke!"
–Lower East Side
Asian bimbo on cell: I just spoke to Percy and allegedly they threw a party after we were fired, to celebrate us getting fired…but we're people too.
–181 & St Nicholas
Overheard by: must not have liked you
Hipster girl: My all-time dream is to be shot by the cobra snake at a party, with a cig in my hand and Paul* between my thighs.
–NYU Dorm
Overheard by: Dayn
Tattooed guy on iPhone: Yeah, I'm bringing a 250-foot Slip 'N Slide!
–7th & 13th St
Overheard by: can I come to that party?
Loud man on cell: Yo, son! Why didn't you invite to your party? Damn…c'mon! Remember that time the chick in a wheelchair was working us in the cab? Yeah, she was in a wheelchair! Remember we got a cab for her and put her in the cab? That's right–that was me! She was giving us both head.
–BBQ Restroom, 8th Ave, Chelsea
20-something woman: Wait…when is it a rule to give the host a handjob?
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Jazz
Bum, to smoking cater waiter: Can I get a smoke?
Cater waiter: (nods saying “no”)
Bum, pulling a cigarette out of his ear: Then, can I get light?
Cater waiter: (lights it)
Bum: Can I get five bucks?
–14th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Where's your sense of rhythm?
Girl on cell: I’m getting on the train now, so I’ll be there soon. Just wait for me on the corner and smoke something.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Devon
Smoker chick: I lose lighters like I lose men.
–Central Park
Overheard by: RENThead
Nerd: I don’t even like smoking. I just like feeling like an arrogant jerk.
–LIRR to Penn Station
Overheard by: Heather Baharestani
Man to friends: I mean, I don’t know about him. He doesn’t play sports, he doesn’t drink, smoke or do drugs… What kind of a life is that?
–Manhattan-bound M train
Overheard by: amazed
Hipster: The Statue of Liberty would be so much cooler if she had a cigarette.
–D train
Overheard by: dianora
11-year-old girl: Yo mamma's broke cuz she spend all her money on rhinestones and cigarttes!
–Riverside Branch Library
Overheard by: always listening
Polite lady: Go straight down that way and cut through the projects–don't worry, they're mixed income–and you'll see it when you come out on A.
–1st Ave & 5th St.
Overheard by: Mrqs
Old lady waiting for the bathroom: How long do people stay in toilets? Jesus! It's a public toilet! There are all these people from the streets that come in, and they always pee on the floor. Well, that's what happens when you're poor.
–NY Public Library
Overheard by: Avery
Homegirl to friend: So she was like "oh, my name's Diamond. And this is my sister, her name's Ruby. Our daddy named us after stuff he can't afford." I was like, shit, if that was the case, my daddy woulda call us "lights" and "gas."
–Prospect Park
Nerdish teen: What the hell was a warlock doing in a dungeon when he had no money?
–C Train
Overheard by: Andrew
Hipster girl: I want to like have a housewarming, but, like, I'm concerned about the walkup. Cause there's like smokers coming.
Little friend: How many flights?
Hipster girl: Six.
Little friend : Six stories?! Well, you warn them over e-mail, and then they can decide if they can make it.
–5 Line
Guy #1: I told him you don't ask a woman for a cigarette, you just don't do it.
Guy #2: Yeah… Word.
Guy #1: But he didn't listen. Next thing you know he's getting pistol whipped and my car is being towed away.
–1 Train
20-something bum: Excuse me, miss, can I please have a cigarette?
Young woman smoking: Sure.
20-something bum: Thank you so much. I just took a huge hit of heroin and a cigarette after is the balls.
Young woman smoking: Well, happy trails!
–14th St & 3rd Ave
