Young coed #1: What's with him and hands? He's all about hands. It's weird. He touches every chick's hand and looks at them. What is that?
Young coed #2 (whispering): Hand jobs.
(both laugh hysterically)
Young coed #1: Uuuum, really? What does that mean? He's visualizing?
–A Train
Overheard by: amy d
Boy on cell: A swimsuit and a medal? That's a lot of clothes to wear. Hello? Hello?
–NYU
Overheard by: Xy
Man to other sitting on sidewalk: Dude… you know, gloves actually make your hands colder. They're not worth it, man.
–Astor Place
Small Middle Eastern male cashier to white girl: You are wearing things all black! Black bag, black coat, black hair. The only thing not black is you!
–Duane Reade
NYU hipster: People wearing white are in a cult, okay?
–NYU
Overheard by: Boots
Blind lady carrying cane, pointing to clothing on rack: Oh, this this looks good!
–Kmart, 34th St
Overheard by: AussieinNYC
Columbia girl, looking at cell phone: Oh shit, I have like five missed calls from State Department! Should I call them back? Is it too late now?
Columbia guy, bewildered: What? The State Department?
(girl's cell phone rings)
Columbia girl: Hi, daddy. Well, I realize that, but I just got them. Well, do you think it's too late to call back now? Okay, I'll call them ASAP.
Columbia guy: What did your dad say?
Columbia girl: He told me that when the State Department calls, you should probably answer.
–Le Monde, Morningside Heights
Overheard by: bored prof
5-foot Asian high school girl to friend: So where is your college anyway?
5-foot Asian college friend: Umm…in the Bronx.
5-foot Asian high school girl: Is that like north of the city or something?
5-foot Asian college friend: Umm…maybe, but I don't think so.
–Rilo Kiley Concert, Terminal 5
Blonde chick to dude: Isn't he, like, koreish?
–F Train
Dude on cell: It's not even like a relationship, it's all texting, it's a textationship.
–22nd & 1st
Overheard by: loves it
Girl on cell: She was all slippy and shit.
–SoHo
Student to another: The trouble with you is that you got the wrong misconception.
–Broadway & 116th
Overheard by: Cousin Al
Mom, upon examining young son's pruney toes: Jake! What's wrong with your toe? Look, the skin is coming off, it's like you're molding! Just like a little bird! Your foot is molding!
–Prep School Swimming Pool
Overheard by: I dream of Jean
Teen on payphone: Listen! Mah words isn't what I'm sayin!
–Fulton & Broadway
Overheard by: Mondo Man
Woman on cell: You thought he was gonna shit on you? Sit? Spit? You gonna need to step up your English game.
–Fulton Street Subway Station
Overheard by: Johnny Twisto
Math professor to sleeping student: Hey, are you okay?
Student: Nuh?
Math professor to class: Well, I've rarely killed someone during a lecture, but I must be breaking new ground today.
–Hunter College
Suit to another, on smoking break: Cigarettes are out, cookies are in!
–33rd & Park Ave
Teen boy: I wanna take up smoking just to prove to people how easy it is to quit. Seriously, it's not that hard. Just don't buy a pack.
–74th & Lexington
Bum to another: And so the cops went in and found them… And you know they can't arrest them for smokin' that shit…it's part of their religion!
–23rd & Park Ave
Overheard by: Francesca
Professor: The only reason valuable reason to start smoking is if you were molested as a child or some shit like that.
–Marymount Manhattan College
Girl on phone: So my roommate was bitching at me this morning for walking around in my underwear and I was like, "Dude, you got laid last night, I got yelled at by my booty call's girlfriend. I deserve to smoke cigarettes half naked on my patio."
–Lower East Side
Overheard by: innocent bystander
High school kid: Yo, I would smoke a cigarette dipped in toothpaste!
–Chambers St
College Student #1: Dude, how excited are you for Snakes on a Plane?
College Student #2: Snakes on a Plane? What's that about?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Vadim
9th grade girl #1: Yo, this shit is mad boring. This school's a damn waste of ma time. Plus, it's grimy and nasty, all the girls have that thing that begins with a “c,” what's it called?
9th grade girl #2: Cooties?
9th grade girl #1: Nah.
9th grade girl #2: Chlamydia?
9th grade girl #1: Yeah, that's it! That shit is annoying.
–M86 Bus
Homeless guy hugging another: I love you, old school! You got a cigarette?
–14th St & 8th Ave
Drunk, fighting with another and punching phone booth: I will fuck you up, man! I love you, man!
–E 11th St & 9th Ave
Sloppy drunk dial outside gay club: I love you so fuckin much, mom…like…*more* than Anna Nicole!
–Valda, Gay Bar, NYC
Female NYU student: You don't love Joe Biden as much as I do. Dude, Joe Biden is awesome! He should be gay!
–Tisch Hall, NYU
Overheard by: Blair
Guy leaning against light post, to girlfriend: Listen, I love you…but you're so fucking mean.
–47th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: J&J
