Woman: So, what does Les Miserables translate into? “The Miserables”?
Man: Uh, yeah. Isn’t that obvious? It’s Spanish!
–Les Miserables, Theater
Overheard by: hjane
Woman: So, what does Les Miserables translate into? “The Miserables”?
Man: Uh, yeah. Isn’t that obvious? It’s Spanish!
–Les Miserables, Theater
Overheard by: hjane
Blonde #1: I met Kelly in Portland.
Blonde #2: Which Portland?
Blonde #1: What are you talking about?
Blonde #2: Well there are two: one on the east coast, one on the west coast.
(long silence)
Blonde #1: You know, it’s not funny to lie all the time like that.
–Houston St
Chick #1: I think Moron Titty is a great code name. Like, if you go into the CIA? I think you should be Agent Moron Titty.
Chick #2: Yeah, my nipples have an I.Q. of, like, 75.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: djlindee
Fat tourist: A, I hate Spongebob. B, I’ll see you over the summer.
–R train
Overheard by: Laurea de Ocampo
Hipster chick #1: Did you get to use the bathroom?
Hipster chick #2: No! They said it was for patrons only.
Hipster chick #3: What’s a patron?
Hipster chick #2: I dunno. I think it has something to do with being in the army.
–45th & Broadway
Traffic cop: You can’t walk now. Get a clue!
Man: I got a clue — the ‘Walk’ sign!
Traffic cop: I don’t give a shit what the sign says!
–52nd & 5th
Usher: I will tell you once again: do not use your cell phone! I know how to wrestle!
–Theatre
Man: What kind of faggot has a 551 number?
–Cooper Union, Astor Place
Overheard by: a friend of mine does
Drunk Long Island girl: I don't know! I guess my phone was on lock or unlock or whatever, but my boobs must have called you!
–W 10th St
Overheard by: max
Blonde NYU ditz, looking at BlackBerry: Wait… what area code is 718? That's like really far away, right?
–Sullivan & Bleecker
Overheard by: i actually laughed at her
Conductor: This is the train to Ronkonkoma, also known as "ko, hip hip hey and away we go." When using cell phones, please, keep it quiet, 'cause no one really wants to know what you're talkin' about.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Goober
Modern orthodox girl: … And I was like, ‘Why should I be considerate? He doesn’t even keep kosher!’
–Barnard College
Overheard by: Considerate of non-shellfish eaters and shellfish eaters alike
Guy on cell: Well, I’m only Jewish by injection…
–82nd & Madison
Overheard by: I’m only Catholic because I took a pill…
Woman: I think I’m just too Jewish for yoga.
–Park Slope
20-ish girl on cell: I mean, Jesus Christ! The Jews in the RV just won’t leave me alone!
–St. Mark’s & Ave B
Overheard by: Also accosted by the mitzvah tank
Man on cell: How did I pull off that deal? I’m a Jew, and that means I have powers over money that a dumb goyim like you can only dream of. It’s like Jewish superhero powers. Just call me ‘Super Jew.’
–Near Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: Lesbian Whisperer
Little boy: Uhhh, half New Yorkish and, uhhh, half Jewish — is that what I am, Mom? Half New Yorkish and half Jewish?
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Rosie
Teenage boy: Did you know that “woman” spelled backwards is “kitchen”?
Female suit with briefcase: Go fuck yourself.
–Times Square
