Pretty girl on phone, screaming: I am not upset. I'm not upset–I'm enraged! I'm enraged! Enraged!
Young suit: I think maybe, uh… I'm not sure but…
Old suit: I think maybe she's a little enraged.
–28th St & Madison Ave
Pretty girl on phone, screaming: I am not upset. I'm not upset–I'm enraged! I'm enraged! Enraged!
Young suit: I think maybe, uh… I'm not sure but…
Old suit: I think maybe she's a little enraged.
–28th St & Madison Ave
Southern tourist: Is this Roosevelt Island?
NY woman: No, this is Roosevelt Avenue, in Queens.
Southern tourist: What? So it is Roosevelt Island?
NY woman: No, I said it is not Roosevelt Island. This is the Roosevelt Avenue stop. You are in Queens.
Southern tourist: I don’t understand, am I on Roosevelt Island?
Suit: Ma’am, you are in Queens right now, specifically, Roosevelt Avenue. Roosevelt Avenue is not the same as Roosevelt Island. If you want to be at Roosevelt Island, you have to take the train going in the other direction about three stops. Either way, get off the damn train and quit delaying the rest of us.
Southern tourist: Why won’t anybody answer my question?
NY woman: You know what? This is Roosevelt Island, we’re all wrong. Get off.
Southern tourist: Was that so hard?
–Roosevelt Avenue stop, F train
Overheard by: SandmanEsq
Suit #1: I mean, it was crazy — first this lady has a kid in the elevator, and then about a week later, another lady’s water breaks in the same elevator.
Suit #2: I would have hated to be the guy to mop that up.
Suit #1: That elevator shaft is like a friggin’ fallopian tube!
–2 train
Overheard by: Paul
Headline by: dank
Runners-Up:
· “And Park Slope Is Like a Cum-Soaked Uterus” – t.a.m.s.y.
· “At least it’s not menstruating like that elevator in The Shining” – Chris
· “In Similar News, The Lobby Stairwell is Closed for Yeast Infection Maintenance” – Maeve K
· “P.C. Pimps Don’t Push ‘Em Down The Stairs Anymore” – elrobinder
· “Push! Push! No, push the BUTTON!” – Julia
· “The Fertile Ascent” – Benzero
· “The Pussyseidon Adventure- 2006” – smscpw
· “The elevator is still better than having to make small talk with the guy who performs abortions in the stairwell” – Raden Mutter
· “Where do you stand on partial-floor evacuations?” – Kevin Perry
Girl on cell, pacing outside of restaurant: What happened to you? It was so good to run into you, but you look like a homeless person!
–St. Mark's Place b/w Ave A & 1st Ave
Guy to young girl: I think the homeless guy on my block has real self-esteem issues.
–Astor Place
Manager to hobo: Jesus Christ, don't let me catch you here again! The Radisson is right around the corner!
–McDonald's
Power walking suit on phone: I know, I've never actually seen a female hobo before.
–Grand Central
Suit on cell: So like, she was homeless, right? But she look gooood!
–6th & 19th
Overheard by: Sanam Skelly
Woman at red table with water jug: Help the homeless! C'mon! They don't like dat shit!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Cracka Jack
Female suit to thug trying to push through to the front: You know, there's really nowhere for you to fit in here.
Thug: Don't mess with me, I'm from The Bronx.
Female suit: Don't mess with me. I'm from Jersey.
–1 Train
Suit: (bangs on information glass repeatedly)
Clerk, playing with his iPod: How may I help you?
Suit: Can I exchange my expired MetroCard?
Clerk: See the sign says “information only”? Go across the street.
Suit: So what are you here for? To play with your iPod?
Clerk: I deserve my job.
–R Train
Overheard by: Danchik
Giggling guy in suit: The seven is like way out there. I mean, way out there. I hear people just take out woks and start cooking in them. Like it’s Chinatown or something.
–Q train
Overheard by: Adrian
Law professor: Sometimes you just want to tell your client, "Wake the fuck up!"
–NYU Law School
Law student on cell: Well, it's hard to locate them, since I don't know who they are.
–Columbia Law School
Overheard by: arctinus
Older looking woman on cell: No, don't fight him, Henry. We're Jewish. God gave us lawyers for a reason.
–42nd & Avenue of the Americas
Overheard by: Elizabeth
Awesome judge: If you do not have a basic understanding of the English language, you will not be able to serve. If you cannot understand what I'm saying, please come up now. Now, two translators will translate what I just said. If you understood what I said, obviously don't come up here.
–Supreme Court Building
Suit to girl: You must be a lawyer. (pause) Or a cunt.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: How did he know?
Thug: Don't say anything to her! Don't you know anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law?
–132nd & St. Nicholas
Drunk lawyer on phone: Yeah! I convict rape victims.
–Outside Shea Stadium
Hobo: Can you spare a cigarette? I know you have one. My friend was a commodities trader, and he taught me all about Wall Street. You must love those expensive cigars! [laughs]Suit: That’s amazing. Where’s your friend now?
Hobo: I don’t know. He’s homeless.
–Wall St
Overheard by: steven lowell
Megaphone lady: Don’t buy from Canada! Don’t go to Canada! Don’t support Canada at all!…Don’t buy Canadian beer!
–49th & 6th
