Missionary: Jesus loves you. Jesus loves you all!
Jewish teen: Not me, though.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Jak
Missionary: Jesus loves you. Jesus loves you all!
Jewish teen: Not me, though.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Jak
Homeless guy: I got candy, I got gum. I do this 'cause everybody got to eat. I'm trying to do the right thing. I sell candy, I sell gum. I don't sell drugs.
Blonde girl: Do you have drugs?
–Times Square
Girl #1: Wait, so vampires can get mortals pregnant?
Boy: Mmm-hmm.
Girl #2: Yep. Vampires can get mortals pregnant, but mortals can't get vampires pregnant, because vampires just can't get pregnant at all.
–TKTS Booth, Times Square
Overheard by: Clueless Bystander
Hobo: Hey, ya got any change?
Dude: Um…nope, sorry.
Hobo: OK, I’m sorry about West Side Story; let’s still be friends.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Slick Mcfavourite
20-something gal: I didn’t really like him, I just wanted a boyfriend.
–Fulton & Gold
Overheard by: Craig, Marykate and Maryanne
20-something girl on cell: What, my boyfriend? Oh, he’s with his wife tonight.
–Remsen & Clinton, Brooklyn
Flamboyantly gay man (to himself): He’s just jealous because I have a new boyfriend!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Liz
French woman, earnestly: I’m okay with him sleeping with my boyfriend as long as he starts paying for his own drinks.
–1020 Bar, 110th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Hipster bike punk: I call her my special lady friend and she calls me her gentlemen caller… because boyfriend and girlfriend are too possessive.
–Mud Bar, East Village
Overheard by: raf
Young, religious guy: Hey! Do you know Jesus?
Older guy: Of course, I'm Catholic!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Lily F.
British teen: Look Mum, it’s Wendy’s.
British Mom: Thank God, now I know where we are.
British teen: But it’s not the same Wendy’s as before.
British Mom: Then we’re lost.
–34th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Tina Marney
British guy #1: I can’t wait to go home!
British guy #2: Why’s that?
British guy #1: I never noticed before I came here that there is a sense of security in knowing 100% that the person behind the counter can tie their own shoelaces.
–Times Square
Girl #1: What did she just say?
Girl #2: She said “quesadilla”.
Girl #1: Huh?
Girl #2: It’s Latin.
–AMC Empire 25, West 42nd Street
Tourist mom to kid: There's some weird smells around here…
Suit: Nah, that's New York you're smelling. Dog piss, hobos piss, hobos barf… Ah, the glory of the Great White Way.
–Times Square
Overheard by: i love new york.
Young lady: Stupid people have more fun!
–Chrystie & Housten
Overheard by: Probably True…
Middle age woman to young woman pushing stroller: Well, this is a stupid place for a stroller!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Would the street be safer?
Oversized hip-hop boyfriend to undersized girlfriend: I'm being stupid for your benefit.
–Duane Reade
Woman buying ibuprofen: It's not a virus. My mother's got a headache from everyone being stupid.
–Inwood
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Girl smoking on the sidewalk to smoking friend: He's perfect. Except that he's kind of dumb. But he's perfect!
–34th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Katface
