Adolescent mother to four-year-old daughter: Look at your sexy legs… you got a sexy body.
(10 minutes later)
Adolescent mother to four-year-old daughter: You gonna fall and crack ya fuckin head open.
–LIRR
Overheard by: dr. positive washington
Adolescent mother to four-year-old daughter: Look at your sexy legs… you got a sexy body.
(10 minutes later)
Adolescent mother to four-year-old daughter: You gonna fall and crack ya fuckin head open.
–LIRR
Overheard by: dr. positive washington
Girl to guy: And I was like, "He bleaches his asshole, what does he know about anatomy?"
–Pratt Institute, Brooklyn
Seven-year-old girl to boy throwing mud at her: Watch it, Jakob! I wore eyeliner today!
–Fort Greene Park, Brooklyn
Very large woman on cell: It's called "Brazilian wax job." You only have to do it like every two weeks. Yep, it itches for a day or two, but it's worth every penny.
–PATH
Overheard by: Corey
Young lady with long curly hair to girlfriend: So, I started drying my hair with paper towels recently.
–Montague St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: E-Man>Master of the UNIVERSE!
Outraged feminine gay guy to another: He's having his lips redone… again!
–8th Ave & 20th St, Chelsea
Overheard by: Evan
Woman on cell: Girl, I don't understand why you gotta put on all that makeup just to go for a colonic!
–Washington Heights
MTA conductor: This train is going to run express. The next and last stop is McDonald's… I mean Astoria-Ditmars Boulevard.
–W Train
British teenager: They didn't even spell it right, it's "Mac Donald's," not "mc"!
–McDonald's, Bowery & Bayard
Student to class: I ate a McGriddle last week, and it was like eating a baby angel.
–Classroom, NYU
Frantic foreign lady: Is this the train that goes to McDonald's?
–F Subway
Overheard by: laura
Large black woman to another: So I said to him, "Muthafucka, don't you know a baby comes out of that shit? Ain't nothing you got down there gonna hurt me!"
–Fulton St
Old man with thick Russian accent: It is fresher than a baby's bottom!
–Ave M & E 16th, Brooklyn
Ghetto black guy on phone: Nah, I was locked up, but I'm out now, and she's tryin' to say it's my baby, but that shit ain't mine.
–Downtown 2 Train
Man on cell, passing adorable child playing with dog: I love fucking babies!
–10th & 53rd
Puerto Rican girl to pregnant friend: You feel like you have to poop, but that's just the baby.
–36th St & 34th Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: Bryan Bruner
Conductor: Ma'am, please step off the ramp platform and wait until it is safe. (pause) Miss, you're having a frickin' baby, get off the ramp! (she does) Thank you.
–Metro-North Rail Tracks
Overheard by: Theonlyonewhoseemedtonotice
Teenage mother to friends, running to catch subway: Last one gets the baby!
–Broadway
Overheard by: Francisco S. Ramírez
Guy: I’m like Jewish, but I’m not. I look Jewish.
Girl #1: Yeah, this one time we were at a diner and he was like, “What can I get for $3?”
Girl #2: So, that’s why you assumed…
Girl #1: Yeah, he’s so Jewish.
–1 train
Overheard by: Alix
Guy: My dad doesn't drink any more.
Friend: Yeah, he just does acid.
Guy: Tons.
–D Train
Drunk teenage girl, yelling: Just so all of you guys know, I am underage! (long pause, then to friend) Shit, I just told them we are underage! (long pause, then to woman) Hey, you! I love your hair!
–Q Train
Girl #1: So I'm hooking up with two guys named Nick…bad idea.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: Well I gave Nick #2 my number and I got a text from someone who I thought was Nick #2. Turns out it was Nick #1 all along.
Girl #2: What happened?
Girl #1: So I went to Nick #2's house, assuming it was him from the text. I got there, and it's two girls sitting in the bed, Nick's friend and Nick, all in pajamas. Nick #2 pulls me aside, asks what I'm doing there, and I showed him the texts. It wasn't him, it was Nick #1, from his friends phone.
Girl #2: Looks like you're back to just one Nick now!
–Metro North, Stanford Line
Overheard by: Girl 3
Big girl: You're sweet.
Cute girl: No I'm not, I'm full of piss and vinegar.
–Metro-North Rail
Woman to toddler: You gotta be nice to Jenny.
Toddler: No!
Woman: No, you gotta be nice to Jenny, even though she's a fat-ass. Jenny is a fat-ass. Haha, fat-ass Jenny!
–Downtown A Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
