Bimbette #1: I don’t want to grow up. The real world is scary.
Bimbette #2: Yeah… Puberty sucks.
Bimbette #1: Ummm, I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure puberty is done when you’re, like, fifteen. We’re 18 now…
Bimbette #2: Oh. Well, maybe I’m a late bloomer.
–UES
Overheard by: Allie
Little boy: Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! (points at bus with excitement)
Young dad: Close buddy, close. “Bus.”
–77th & 3rd
Overheard by: Ali
Chubby brown haired tween: Give me another hug!
Pretty blonde tween friend, shouting to a different friend: Melanie!
Chubby brown haired tween: I need another hug!
Pretty blonde tween friend, shouting to a different friend: Melanie!
–John Jay Park, Upper East Side
Overheard by: justwalkinthedog
Toddler boy: Look, Daddy! The airport!
Dad: That’s the moon, Milo.
–86th & 3rd
Overheard by: Claire Keaveney
Girl: Like, my grandmother got stabbed with an ice pick by her brother. And then they were estranged for years.
–Bobst Library, Washington Square South
College intern hitting friend with magic wand: Naked Bitch with big titties.
Little kid: Is that a real magic wand?!
–FAO Schwartz
Girl: Dad, I know what we are getting mom for Hanukkah.
Dad: What?
Girl: New mascara, hers is getting lumpy.
Dad: I think she deserves more than that.
Girl: If you want to see what I want, you can look at the folder on my desktop.
–86th & 3rd Ave
Ghetto chick to friend: Remember when you took that chinchilla from me, back in the day?
–Q Train
Overheard by: Chloe
Grungy dude on cell: So I jumped on my horse and got the fuck outta there.
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: bildita
Guy: …and those Egyptians had crocodiles. Those crocodiles that shoot lasers out of their eyes.
–Metropolitian Musuem of Art
Overheard by: Bonkers in Yonkers
Hipster chick: Deer antlers. Everywhere I go, all I see are deer antlers. I’m getting sick of it.
–14th St & 1st Av
Overheard by: Larry
Thug: I’m like super pimp. I pimp men and women… And cats and dogs. Shit, I got the whole animal kingdom.
–10th & Broadway
Composed chick on cell: He’s a giraffe, and I’m a leopard, and I’m never gonna be a giraffe. I’ve tried and tried, but my destiny is as a leopard, you see? I can fake being a giraffe for awhile, but eventually I’m gonna have to rip his throat out and feed on his entrails. It’s in my nature. The only alternative is divorce.
–Billiard Hall, Elizabeth & Bowery
Old Jewish lady to moron who parked in the walkway: Move your vehicle! Citizen’s arrest! Get the fuck out of my way!
–Brooklyn
Cop over squad car loudspeaker, to a cab driver: You’ve got to be kidding! Pull over your car now.
–74th St & Park Ave
Guy on cell: Driving? No, we shouldn’t take cars. Because people are gonna be drinkin’ and poppin’ pills and I want everyone to be safe!
–Union Square
Overheard by: rpk
Professor: So how many of you drive pick-up trucks?… Oh wait we’re in New York City, don’t see many pick-up trucks here… And why is that? Well of course it’s because you’d park your car one night and the next morning a small family of three will have a tent pitched in the back. Now there’s an awkward conversation… "Uhm excuse me, good morning but I kiiiind of need to drive to work so if you could unpitch the tent… That’d be excellent."
–St. John’s University, Queens
NYU girl on cell: No! I told you I wanted four doors! OK, love you, bye. (hangs up phone) Seriously, I told my dad I have too many friends for a two door, but that’s all he’s looking at! It’s like he’s not even buying the car for me. He’s so selfish!
–Classroom, NYU
Overheard by: Angie
Older woman on line at the Guggenheim to young British male who has been talking with a friend: "I programmed my car to sound just like you!"
–89th St & 5th Ave
Preppy blonde: And I would be in the alley, all secret… And then out of nowhere people in the street would hear “Fuck yeah–crack!” coming from the alley, and then the police would come, and I would totally be saying goodbye to my chances at Yale.
Tiny brunette friend: Yeah, totally.
–82nd & York
