Girl #1: How excited would you be if we saw Johnny Depp?
Girl #2: I’d probably pee my pants and then pass out.
–Wall St
Overheard by: Jenny
Girl #1: How excited would you be if we saw Johnny Depp?
Girl #2: I’d probably pee my pants and then pass out.
–Wall St
Overheard by: Jenny
Pompous, insane English professor: Right now I am being plagued by a contagion, but I will return your reports anon.
–Barnard College
Student, to friend who just bashed the side of his head: What the hell? You're hurting my ganglia!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: John David
Black mom to teen daughter walking away from her: No, you get back here and listen to what I'm sayin! You gotta pay attention–niggas be instigatin!
–Nassau & Fulton
Overheard by: Tigertail
First year legal scholar: I feel like our relationship is terminated for perpetuity.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: bunbury
Yuppie on phone: Wait. (pause) Bruhaha, right?
–70th & Broadway
Preteen thug to friend: Yo, nigga! What's crackin'?
Passing suit: Your voice.
Thug's friend: Oh, snap!
–Fulton St. & John St.
Overheard by: Annie B
Thug guy: Yo, Dean and Deluca, they got mad expensive shit.
–Borders, Broadway & Pine
Prof: A noun is a person, place or thing. Can someone give me a noun? William?
William: How ’bout…motherfucker?
Prof: That could be a noun, but also a verb or even an adjective…
–BMCC
Overheard by: Professor
Fat black woman #1: I tried on all their larges, and they was all tight. They don’t make sizes for real women anymore.
Fat black woman #2: That’s why all them pretty, skinny bitches in movies get killed first. No one cuts a big sister.
Fat black woman #1: Hmph… Cut them up.
–80 Broad St
Overheard by: The Pidge
Four-year-old: Mooooom! I want deseeeeeert!
Yuppie mom: No, sweetie, you didn't finish your sandwich.
Four-year-old: You have no soul!
–Whole Foods, TriBeCa
Overheard by: Has Cookies
Large female southern tourist: It'd be really funny if we got stuck on the toilet and couldn't get up. It'd be the whole "help! Get me off this toilet!" thing.
–Bathroom, Metropolitan Museum of Art
Tourist woman to husband: Where's that cop who was here a minute ago? He gave me the wrong directions, and I wanna cuss him out for it!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Deeds
Tourist: Is this the building where people go all crazy about the numbers?
–Outside New York Stock Exchange
Overheard by: Kyle
50-something tourist husband to wife, while they share bites of same apple: I don't know why we came to this city… We can't even afford breakfast.
–34th & 7th
Hipster guy to hipster chick: …and he's like, "I didn't come; why is there so much come all over?" And she's like, "Oh, you're number 23." So he's like, "Oh, okay." And he starts pounding away again!
–Bedford & 11th, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Woman, with her mouth about an inch from a guy, about to kiss him: I can't, I already had sex with three guys today.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Derek
Girl to friend: I'm really worried about her. I think she has a serious case of slutism.
–66th & Columbus
Preppy girl on cell: Yeah, so apparently "Happy hour Tuesday" equals "Walk of shame Wednesday." I just wish I could've been working at my job for more than a week before I walked in reeking of shame and spermicide. (pause) Actually, I wish the spermicide thing was true. Then I wouldn't have to drop $50 bucks today on plan B.
–Wall St
Teenage boy on cell: She's still sleeping with my brother. I mean, my brother is sleeping with like ten other girls…but she's in his regular rotation.
–Starbucks, Montague Street
NYU student on cell: But logic doesn't call you back. Logic sleeps with you and leaves in the morning.
–Kimmel Center
Guy #1: Man, I feel really, like, weird. I don’t know how to explain it!
Guy #2: I do, man. One word: muchachos.
–Wall St
