A Wednesday One-Liner Is Worth a Thousand Words

Cheerful lady taking photos: Smile! Say, ‘Shit’!

–20th & Park

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Chick with camera: I am gonna Flickr the fuck out of you!

–Burp Castle, 7th & 2nd

Overheard by: Still dazzled by the flash

Hippie chick: Yeah, I put up a picture of her on my site — the one of her on the couch. It was the only picture where she didn’t have two dicks in her.

–Thai restaurant, Park Slope

Angry man, about his ex: I was looking at her picture and got mad right away. You know instant oatmeal? I was instant angry.

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: KristenH

Man with accent, into pay phone: I have the pictures! With the girl, yes! … Vagina in them! Yes!

–W 4th St

Posted on November 2, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Pictures, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

There's No Pill for What Wednesday One-Liners Have

Nervous hipster: You know, it's really true what they say about friends with eczema…

–50th & 8th

Overheard by: chris

Guy on cell: So she got cancer, big fuckin deal!

–1st Ave & St. Mark's

Man on cell: Next time they call, just politely say there's no one here with diabetes.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Lola Black

Woman exiting car: There's this bump between my ass and cooch. I think I should get that checked.

–W 4th St

20-something guy to 40-something woman: Look, I'm not saying I'm not concerned about my hand being sticky, but I'm more concerned about malaria.

–Café

Posted on November 1, 2015
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Wednesday One-Liners! Get ’em While They’re Hot!

Comedy hawker: Don’t be afraid, folks. I’m just a friendly black guy, and if you buy tickets from me, I promise not to talk shit about you when you leave!

–Outside McDonald’s, 42nd St

Overheard by: Geneva

Young entrepreneur: Cold beer here! Cold water here! We gots the loosies! We got cold loosies, we got things I can’t say out loud…

–Cony Island

AM New York guy: Free AM New York! Some things in New York are free, folks! When I first came here I got my butt kicked. That was free!

–34th & 7th

Metro paper guy: Free fans! Free Metro fans! Free fans!

–35th & 9th

Overheard by: That’s all they’re good for

Girl handing out posters: Free paper cuts! Free paper cuts! Anyone? Free paper cuts!

–Zune: Live at the BBQ concert

Overheard by: passed on the poster

Another Metro paper guy: Metro! Free paper! Karl Rove leaves White House to form his own Nazi party!

–33rd & Park

Overheard by: beestiegirl

Comedy flyer guy: Live comedy! Do not take this flyer! Good job!

–Times Square

Overheard by: MissPinkKate

Posted on October 29, 2015
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Wednesday One-Liners: “Toga! Toga! Toga!”

60-something white woman: They put on a good show. Those Jesuits really know how to party!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Jeff

Gay man to others, about parties: Yeah, I thought about going to the black party, but I'm not that gay!

–7th Ave & 6th St

Overheard by: NottRob

Young woman: I'm twenty-seven. I've never been to a party, a sexy party, where I don't remember who I've slept with.

–21st St & Lexington

Overheard by: Jonas

Chick on cell: I can't. It's my cousin's chihuahua's birthday party.

–28th St & Lexington

Overheard by: sounds like a rager

Posted on October 18, 2015
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Birthdays, Celebrations/Parties, Christianity, Compare/Contrast, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Man's Best Friend, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, One-liners, Orgy, Penn Station, Promiscuity, Queer guys, Sexuality, The Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People, Women

Legally Wednesday One-liners

Woman: Send good karma so they’ll hire me to practice law without a license.

–8th Ave.

Lady CO: If y’all don’t shut up and behave, I’m turning off the fan! And y’all stink, remember.

–Hoyt-Schermerhorn Jail and Courthouse

Overheard by: Carolina

Posted on October 17, 2015
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Wednesday One-Liners Reach Out and Touch Someone

Hot chick: My phone has finally learned to spell ‘cock’ and ‘anal’! I’m so proud!

–King’s Head Tavern, 14th St

Overheard by: Argopelter

Girl on cell: Listen, you in Rikers — you lucky you ain’t get three years! … And you stayin’ there, ’cause I ain’t bailin’ you out… Oh, whatever — if I didn’t care about you, I wouldn’t be usin’ my daytime minutes.

–W train, Astoria, Queens

Overheard by: Juan Moment

Chick on cell: I am your phone sex Yoda! Come, my young padawan! Come!

–Steinway & Ditmars

Overheard by: using the force

Cross-eyed JAP on cell: No, seriously, it’s not my phone. I think there’s something wrong with my chin.

–Times Square

Overheard by: NathAnonymous

Posted on October 13, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Cell Phone, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

Wednesday One-Liners Are Always PC

Young teen girl: I've done cybersex so often I forgot how to type with two hands.

–A Train

Suit on cell: I have nothing to blog about. I have nothing to video blog about. Man, yesterday I had to force myself to tweet!

–Uptown 4 Train

Overheard by: cowgirly

Girl selling peaches to another: Yeah, my dad was so unsympathetic when I told him my computer crashed that I went straight to the Apple store and charged a new hard drive to his credit card. I was really proud of myself.

–Fort Greene Farmers Market

Overheard by: Morning Glory

Teenage girl to friend: I don't see why we're even here. We could see all this stuff on the internet for free.

–Metropolitan Museum

Overheard by: Derek

Posted on October 10, 2015
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Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle Of Wednesday One-Liner!

Dude in full garb on Halloween, clearly losing the argument to his friends: But it's not a foreign object to a pirate!

–East Village

Overheard by: chris k

Girl wearing duct tape cat ears on the fountain in Columbus Circle: I have been crowned the pirate queen!

–Columbus Circle

Guy in business casual to woman in business casual: Yeah, that's the thing about parrots. If they smell smoke and you open their cage, they are outta there. Screw that pirate.

–Uptown 3 Train

Young woman on cell: Those pirates are soooo thin.

–9th Ave & 47th St