Group of boys: Ewww!
Boy: Let me eat it!
–LIRR
Overheard by: doesn't want to know what was eaten
Group of boys: Ewww!
Boy: Let me eat it!
–LIRR
Overheard by: doesn't want to know what was eaten
Normal-looking guy #1: And this is why I need a suit of armor.
Normal-looking guy #2: I know man, me too.
–76th & 2nd
20-something woman on cell: I thought I was pregnant because I was nauseous all the time, but then I realized I was just always hungover.
–111th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Guy to chick: What the fuck did she get pregnant for? She needed to lose some weight.
–Bowery
Hyper chick: He got me knocked up with this giant pretzel!
–LIRR
Overheard by: Pretzel Vendor
20-something girl to friend: Oh, so you're thinking because it's Memorial Day weekend you're gonna get preggers?
–Hoyt-Schermerhorn Subway Sation
Guy, about a couple who'd broken up: She came back to pick up her shit, and when you come back to pick up your shit, you know, shit happens, and she got pregnant.
–Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ashley
Lady suit on cell: Well, unless you want to get me pregnant, I'm not sure I see a way around this!
–Columbus Circle
Woman on cell: I can't come. I'm in the Poconos right now.
–Rite Aid, The Bronx
Punk girl on phone: Hi mom…yeah… Yeah, me and Jane are just walking around in the neighborhood… Yeah, we're at the Time Warner center right now. No! No, of course I'm not on St. Mark's. No. I'd never go there. Of course I'm sober! Why wouldn't I be? Yeah. Okay, love you, bye! (hangs up phone, now to friend with beer) Gimme some of that!
–St. Mark's Place
Russian guy on phone (in Russian): Yeah, I'm on Avenue M. I just got off, I'll be there in a few.
–Q Train, Kings Highway
Overheard by: Robert
Dude on cell: Yo! What's up? I'm waiting at LaGuardia.
–Martin Luther King High School
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Guy on cell: Yeah, I'm on Long Island right now. I'll be here for a little while.
–Park Slope
Female suit on phone: I have to cancel dinner tonight, I had that meeting I told you about, remember? And I'm still not back yet. Yeah. Yeah, I'm in Jersey still.
–Washington Square Park
Woman on cell outside a pub: Honey? It's mommy. We're still at the hospital. I don't know, we could still be here for hours.
–1st & 72nd
Overheard by: Well, there were hospitals nearby, at least
Tech guy: It would suck to be a cow, then you couldn't play Street Fighter.
–Marymount Manhattan College
Blond girl, regarding Egyptian artifacts: This is just like a video game!
–The Met
Overheard by: Rachael and Ben
Mindless dude playing PSP: Damn! Why is this bitch calling me? (answers cell) What do you want, you made me stop my game! (pause) My game as in "my video game," psh! (pause) Shit, if I had any game I wouldn't be with a bitch that looks like you, now what do you want?
–A Train
Overheard by: token white chick
Ghetto kids, as 95-year-old Chinese lady walks into moving traffic: Damn, she think she playing Frogger!
–Chinatown
Friend to friend: I wonder how Super Mario Bros will influence my decision?
–Houston St & Broadway
Girl #1: So I like, panicked, and I ate it.
Girl #2: You ate the weed?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: E
Girl: Hey, it's the zoo!
Vendor, in response: Yep, that's hot dogs.
–Central Park Zoo
Large black man on cell phone: They did the deal with the diamonds, then the other guy got greedy and shot up the place.
–Union Ave
Overheard by: Seth Callaway
Teen, looking around: Where are we? Are we purchasing illegal arms?
–Turkish Restaurant, Montague St.
Overheard by: Mike N
Blonde chick in pink coat, perkily: … There was no exit wound, and no bullet.
–L train
Overheard by: Ladle
Girl talking to co-worker: I live near Wall Street and there are like army men down there with machine guns and it’s scary! How do I know they don’t have Tourette’s and won’t just start shooting their guns all over the place?!
–41st & 3rd
Older suit, calmly, to his two female coworkers: I’d like to put a gun to his head and say "Nickie do the right thing or I will blow your fucking head off."
[His companions nod in understanding.]
–Starbucks
Calm Jewish fraternity guy on cell: So, I’m being deported and drafted into the Israeli army… It’s okay, I’ll name my gun after you!
–NYU Waverly Building
Random guy peeing in the corner to girl walking by: Hey girl, I like your scarf. I'd like to make love to you, but you could keep the scarf on. Keep the scarf on when we make love.
Girl's friend: He'd probably use it to choke you.
–14th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Julia
Guy: I'm tellin' you, man. America loves cheese. No, seriously, dude. America loves cheese!
–Ace's, 5th St & Ave B
Cute 20-something guy singing while playing soccer: Bottles of cheese, bottles of cheeeeeeeeese…
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: i'd like a bottle of cheese
Girl: I'd rather have a turkey sandwich with cum on it than cheese.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Lindsay
Distressed female student: She's such a hard grader! She's like…a cheese grater.
–Queens College
Five-year old boy: But mummy, I want goat cheese on my french fries!
–St. Regis Hotel
Overheard by: Nonok
