Girl to friend: What's the difference between penguins and puffins?
Friend: Well, for one thing, puffins are birds.
–Central Park Zoo, Penguin/Puffins Exhibit
Girl to friend: What's the difference between penguins and puffins?
Friend: Well, for one thing, puffins are birds.
–Central Park Zoo, Penguin/Puffins Exhibit
Drunk hobo: You guys are attractive. You got the hair thing going on and you have the sideburns working for you. (flexes biceps)
Teenage boys: Ummm… Thanks.
Drunk hobo: Guys… listen. Guys… birds of a feather fly together. Birds of a feather fly together. You don't see seagulls flying with pigeons or pigeons flying with seagulls. Birds of a feather fly together! You guys have any money?
(they give him some change, he walks away)
Sketchy man overlooking: Wow… that guy was crazy. Do you kids want some weed or some blow?
–Sitting Area, 48th & 8th
Overheard by: Brendan
Tween girl #1: So yeah, then we played chicken at the skate park.
Tween girl #2: That sounds really painful.
Tween girl #1: You know, it really was!
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: Wincingprep
Man on cell: My identity has totally shifted, and so have my bowel movements.
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: Mickey Smith
Girl to another: I took a shit in Starbucks… did you take a shit in Starbucks?
–Outside Starbucks
Woman to friend: There were no feces for (pause) two days.
–Canal and W Broadway
Overheard by: LizzieD
Girl in toilet stall, repeatedly: Someone pooped on the floor! This is so gross! Medieval freaks! And it's shaped like a dragon! Come here and look at it!
–New York Renaissance Fair
British woman to man she's walking with, as they look at a pigeon: Of course he doesn't have to sit down to poo, he's a bird!
–Washington Square South
Enraged crazy old lady feeding pigeons, to punk kid chasing pigeons: Eat the caca! Eat the caca!
–48th & 8th
Overheard by: ShaghouseGirls
Summer camp counselor to young summer camper: Why you so afraid? That's something you can see in the Bronx!
Summer camper: Aaahhh!
Summer camp counselor to young summer camper: It's just a pigeon!
–Central Park Zoo
Awkward tall man: A pigeon hit me in the chest today.
Attractive woman: That's because your chest is where most people's heads are. It was attacking.
Awkward tall man: Yeah, but it just stimulated my nipples a little bit.
–Greenpoint
Overheard by: Fatericbana
Man to little boy: I can't believe you've never played tic-tac-toe with a chicken in Chinatown.
–52nd & Lexington
Overheard by: Ed
Hipster guy: I don't know though, I can't Indian give those chickens, can I?
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: BKLover
Older black man to himself, entering train with moving box: I got a live chicken in this box! I don't know why god gave me a chicken. He knows I don't know what to do with one. (a few minutes later) I'm gonna sell her to the butcher shop and they're going to cut that motherfucker up!
–Uptown A Train
Overheard by: Mawy
Serious man, seeing dog carrying shopping bad in teeth: I am going to train a dog like that. I will train it to bring me chicken.
–73rd St & Broadway
Overheard by: EthanK
Large black dude to large black friend: Yo, man, I am so tired of chicken! I mean, yeah, I know, I'm black…but man, I ain't eating no chicken at that party man. Don't even bring no chicken by me, cause I ain't eating none. Matter of fact, I ain't eating no chicken for Black History Month. I'ma start the movement! No chicken for Black History Month!
–Downtown 2 Train
Overheard by: Kosi
Skinny gay guy: I think I tweeted about that.
Fat girl: Can we please stop using “tweeted” unless you have, in fact, turned into a bird?
Skinny gay guy: Whatevs! I'm going inside. I have to piddle.
–Graham & Frost, Brooklyn
Student: A lot more people would definitely vote if there was free pizza at polling places.
–Queens College
Overheard by: Suze
Hipster: Papa John's makes me want to have Aids.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Matthew K. Johnson
Drunk person: Hey! This isn't the original Ray's!
–Ray's Pizza
Overheard by: Darwin
Girl to friend: So you only need a slice of pizza to get you wet?
–Slaughtered Lamb Pub
Overheard by: sinko
Old dude carrying blue plastic bag to pigeon: Pizza! My darling! Pizza! My pizza!
–9th St & 1st Ave
Hobo to passers-by: You need a dog! Don't eat the pizza, you will get fat!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Lily
Little boy to older sister: Look at that ugly bird.
Older sister, bored: Yeah, wow.
Little boy: I wanna crash it…stupid bird.
Older sister: Don't do that baby, it's not nice.
Little boy: Why not? I just wanna crash it.
Older sister: Because serial killers kill animals when they're little.
Little boy: What's a serial killer?
Older sister: It's something white people do for fun.
–7th Ave & 9th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: I have yet to kill anyone
