Wednesday One-Liners Say “Piss on It!”

Man exiting subway: No, thanks, I've had enough urine in my nose today.

–14th St & 8th Ave

Guy, infatuated with female friend: If I had a pool I'd let you pee in it.

–LIRR

Overheard by: Chadwick

Sturdy guy to chubby girls: We're men! We pee in the park!

–St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: mmhmmm

Mad boyfriend beside girlfriend: No! No! No! I know how you are! I know how they are! All you have to do is pee and…

–Steinway St.

Overheard by: Dustin

Loud girl: Ugh, I wish I had a penis so I could pee on all ya asses.

–Edward R. Murrow High School, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Amused Freshman

Little boy to brother: I have all the power! Do not make me pee-pee on you again!

–Throop & Pulaski

Overheard by: Melissa Kairuz

Posted on January 14, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Body Parts, Boyfriends, Brooklyn, Brothers, Cleanliness, Fast Times at New York High, Friends, Gender issues, Girlfriends, Girls, Guys, Kids, Men, One-liners, Pee, Penis, Queens, The Village, Trains Not Subway, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

You Always Know Just What to Do

College girl to boyfriend who is hugging her and moving around: Babe! Whatever you just did, do it again! My nose finally cleared!
Boyfriend: Uh, farted?

–B Train

Posted on December 15, 2008
Body Parts, Boyfriends, Farting & Burping, Health and Hygiene, On the Subway, Students

Same Reason You're Allowed to Watch Bring It On! and I'm Not

Hipster girl to smoking boyfriend: You shouldn't smoke. Smoking's bad for you.
Boyfriend: You smoke.
Hipster girl: Yeah, but I'm a film major and you're pre-med.

–NYU

Overheard by: good point?

Posted on December 13, 2008
Advice, Boyfriends, Compare/Contrast, Hipsters, NYU, Smoking

When Harry Went Smelly?

Boyfriend: Yeah, I fart in front of you all the time.
Girlfriend: Oh my god! Do you really? I never hear it!
Boyfriend: Oh yeah, I fart constantly. I just hold them in in front of you to be respectful.
Girlfriend: Awwww that's so sweet!
Boyfriend: Yeah, it's like a love story.

–Staten Island Ferry

Posted on December 11, 2008
Boyfriends, Farting & Burping, Ferry, Girlfriends, Love, Staten Island Ferry, Weirdness

This Is How They Keep Their Marriage Fresh

Hot 20-something blonde: Stop staring at other girls! Do you know how lucky you are to have me? Most men your age would kill to have a girlfriend this hot!
40-something boyfriend: For the last time, you aren't my girlfriend!
Hot 20-something blonde: Oh, don't pull that again. I am so. You don't just get to fuck me in every hole for a year and say I'm not your girlfriend! You are so lucky to have me! You aren't even that rich!
40-something boyfriend: I will pay you $500 to shut the fuck up for the rest of the day.
Hot 20-something girlfriend: Done.

–52nd & 8th

Posted on December 6, 2008
Age/Aging, Bimbettes, Boyfriends, Girlfriends, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Offers and requests, Relationships, Sex

Wednesday One-Liners Need to Leave Eden Eventually

Angry Spanish boyfriend: You know why I'm talking to you like this! Because your boss was sitting there and you probably had no damn clothes on!

–Broad Channel Subway Station

Girl to friend: Yeah, I can't wait until we take off our clothes and do our make up!

–116th & 3rd

(20-something couple is walking down the street with arms around each other)
Woman: So were you self-conscious when you took off your clothes in front of the children?

–28th & 5th

White guy answering cell: Negrooooo… I'm on the Long Island Railroad being completely homosexual… You missed it, completely naked…

–LIRR

Overheard by: Xavier

Five-year-old girl, before performance begins: Are they going to take *all* their clothes off?

—Hair, Delacorte Theater

Girl to friend: God! I remember when my brother ran into my room naked screaming that he had two buttholes.

–Subway, 14th & 1st

Overweight middle age white guy to friend: I know, I get it, you like to sit naked in the mud while some guy serenades you on his guitar singing about things I don't believe and can't understand. That's your thing. I prefer hockey.

–89th & 4th, Brooklyn

Posted on November 5, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asshole, Boyfriends, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Fat People, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Gripes, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Infidelity, Instruments, Kids, Latinos, Makeup, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Music, Nudity, On Cell, One-liners, Public Transportation, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex, Sports, Stupidity, Subway Stations, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Theater, Trains Not Subway, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People, Women

When You Have Too Many Questions, Silence Is Probably Best

Asian girl #1 to Asian girl #2: Hey!
Asian girl #2 (surprised): Hi.
Asian girl #1: Haha, I recognized you by your boobs.
(Asian girl #2 laughs, her boyfriend shifts uncomfortably)

–Columbia University

Posted on November 3, 2008
Asians, Boyfriends, Columbia University, Girls, Physical appearance, Rack, Weirdness

Not Until You Stop Killing Cactuses

Boyfriend: We are not getting a Down's Syndrome pet!
Girlfriend: What?
Boyfriend: You know, a pet you buy when you're down. We're not getting one!
Girlfriend: But I feel vulnerable and want to exert my will over something.
Boyfriend: No!

–Outside Petland Discounts, W 23rd St