You've Got Some Set Of Wednesday One-Liners on You, Buddy!

Woman on cell: I'd love to watch football with you. I'll even hold the balls.

–92nd & Lexington

Boyfriend to guy sitting between him and his girlfriend: Hey man, can you slide over? I need some ball space over here.

–Uptown 4 Train

20-something chick: I aim for as many balls as possible.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Meister

Woman to male Target employee: Do you have balls? (brief awkward pause) Like playing ones…

–Target, Queens

Mother to kids: Okay, raise your hand if you don't have balls! (group of boys eagerly raise their hands)

–LIRR

Overheard by: Chadwick

Posted on April 29, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Balls, Boyfriends, Clerks, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Football, Girls, Guys, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Promiscuity, Queens, Questions, Store, Trains Not Subway, Upper East Side, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women, Words

Correction: It Was in the 80's

Coked-out hipster girlfriend, loudly: And that's why I could never wake up for Pilates.
Hipster boyfriend: Julia. Turn the voice down. People are looking.
Coked-out hipster girlfriend: Well, I can't help the way my voice projects. I used to be an actress.
Hipster boyfriend: No, you didn't.
Coked-out hipster girlfriend: Well, I'm a model.
Hipster boyfriend: No, you're not.
Coked-out hipster girlfriend: I'm kind of a drug dealer.
Hipster boyfriend: Yeah. Which is so gay.

–Williamsburg Bridge

Posted on April 23, 2009
Boyfriends, Cocaine Diet, Crime and Punishment, Druggies, Drugs, Fitness, Girlfriends, Hipsters, Jobs & Careers, Williamsburg

Also Gives Handjobs With His Pinky Extended

Gay man to boyfriend crossing street: Hurry up!
Boyfriend: I am running elegantly!
Passerby to friend: Look at that guy! He takes such long strides! He runs like a gazelle!

–24th & 5th

Overheard by: amused

Posted on April 19, 2009
Animals & Nature, Boyfriends, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Queer guys, Strangers

And I Think He'd Look Hot in a Top Hat and Bowtie

Boyfriend: Ah, don't listen to her, she still believes in magic.
Girlfriend: Jesus! I believe in Jesus!

–117th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Schenk

Posted on April 4, 2009
Boyfriends, Girlfriends, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Jesus, Magic

Your Editors Are Trying Valiantly to Imagine a Nonsexual “It”

Manly boyfriend, excitedly: And then he pulled it down, and it was a monkey face! A monkey face, a monkey face, every time a monkey face!
Girlfriend: Wow! Oh my god, wow!

–9th & University

Overheard by: Kristina Lustig

Posted on March 16, 2009
Boyfriends, Cum, Girlfriends, The Village, Weirdness

Amateur Wisdom Tooth Extractions Never Turn Out Well

Girlfriend: So, can I pull it out now?
Boyfriend: I don't know…
Girlfriend: C'mon, I wanna pull it out now.
Boyfriend: I guess, but I don't know that you'll be able to find it.
Girlfriend: Nah, I bet it'll just pop right back out.
Boyfriend: Okay, you can pull it out.

–Q46 Bus

Overheard by: Cori

Posted on March 5, 2009
Boyfriends, Girlfriends, On the Bus, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

All You Need Is Wednesday One-Liner

Announcer guy: Hey girl, I love your face. And Charmin loves the other end!

–Charmin NYC Restrooms, Times Square

Overheard by: Nathan

Drunk boyfriend: Thanksgiving is over, and so is our love!

–Grand & Leonard, Williamsburg

Overheard by: fanny

Subway busker, about next song: This is not a love song. The reason that this is not a love song is because I don't like her anymore.

–Time Square

Philosophy professor on last day of class: If you love something, set it free. And if it flies away, run after it and kill it.

–City College

Overheard by: Dan Lurie

20-something guy to friend sharing iPod with him: I would do anything to live there…I would pretend to be in love.

–Downtown 6 Train

Overheard by: dallas

Woman on cell: I will skin and tar you. (pause) Oh, I love you!

–W Broadway & W 3rd St

Posted on March 4, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Body Parts, Boyfriends, Celebrations/Parties, City College, Drunks, Friends, Guys, Lies, Love, Murder, On Cell, On the Subway, Poop, Singing, Street, Students, Teachers/Professors, The Village, Threats, Times Square, Vendors & Street Performers, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Williamsburg, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Keep Showing Up on Your Stoop

Woman: In Central Park right now, the Mormons are in full bloom!

–Bandshell, Central Park

Overheard by: Mojosaves

Chick to boyfriend: I could really use some Viagra, maybe I can get some from my grandpa. (pause) Wait, never mind, he's Mormon.

–17th St & 5th Ave

Girl: What do the Mormons have against gay people? Is it because the gays dress better? I mean, Mormons only like to wear white shirts and black pants.

–Uptown A Train

Deliriously drunk woman: I was Mormon!

–Times Square

Posted on February 4, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Boyfriends, Central Park, Clothing, Colors, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Family Ties, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On the Subway, Questions, Religion, Sex, Street, Times Square, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

A Lost Generation Of Wednesday One-Liners

Hipster kid: I should just stop wearing underwear altogether.

–Loews Cinema, 84th St

Hipster girl on cell: Is it "i before e" or "e before i"? "E before i," right? I knew it was "i before e"!

–11th & Ave A

Overheard by: Jerome

Drunk hipster girl to boyfriend: I can't afford to buy drugs, I have to buy lunch on Wednesday.

–A Train

Overheard by: Jesse Jack

Angry hipster girl: Why are there so many ATMs everywhere?!

–6th St & Bedford Ave

Overheard by: Cash Money

Hipster girl, commenting on painting to friend: God, you see diamonds everywhere now. They're like the new antlers.

–Bushwick Art Loft

Posted on January 21, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Animals & Nature, Boyfriends, Brooklyn, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Drugs, Drunks, Food, Friends, Girls, Gripes, Hipsters, Kids, Money & Class, Movie Theaters, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Questions, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Visual Art, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Words

And Steal Crack. But That's It.

Teenage girl on cell: Yo, we just got a new game, you wanna come over?
Teenage boyfriend: (mumbles)
Teenage girl on cell: All you gotta do is get high.
Teenage boyfriend: (mumbles).
Teenage girl on cell: And drunk.

–7th Ave & 50th

Overheard by: Aaron

Posted on January 16, 2009
Boyfriends, Drinking & Drunk People, Drugs, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, On Cell, Teens

Boyfriends