We Agree with That Sentiment

Guy: Do you know that you have a cup of coffee on your roof?
Driver guy: Merry Christmas from Starbucks!

–Park Place & Church

Overheard by: Dirt “Chainsaw” Dog

Lady #1: Can you move?
Lady #2: I ain’t movin’ my cart! You shoulda waited for the next fucking train!
Lady #1: What? Do you care more about people or your cart?
Lady #2: Ma cart, bitch!
Lady #1: …No, you are the bitch!
Lady #2: That’s right, you da bitch!
Lady #1: This is my first train ride, this is fun!…And I learned a new word!
Man: Happy holidays, everyone!

–1 train

Woman #1: So she says, “I don’t want to celebrate Christmas.”
Woman #2: What, she worships the Devil now?
Woman #1: Yeah, I think so.

-Surprise Surprise, 3rd Avenue

Overheard by: Kat

Posted on October 15, 2014
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Brooklyn, Etiquette, Holidays, Nice People, On the Subway, Religion

There's a Wednesday One-Liner in My Hair! Get It Out! Get It Out!

Guy: I don't think bees even have vaginas.

–23rd & 3rd

Suit to another: I want him scrutinized. At a gnat's ass level!

–Midtown Office

Middle school thug: I been radioactivatin' spiders in my kitchen.

–C Train

Overheard by: Emily B.

Mother to five-year-old boy: No, you can't buy grandma a plastic spider for Christmas!

–74th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Harriet Vane's Husband

Guy on cell: Hey, did I tell you I got drunk last night and ordered 1,500 ladybugs off the internet?

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: Ashley

Posted on October 15, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Brooklyn, Drinking & Drunk People, Family Ties, Gifts, Guys, Insects, Internet, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Office, On Cell, On the Subway, Parents, Science, Sensory Experiences, Shopping, Street, Suits, Teens, Thugs, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

It's Always Sunny in Wednesday One-Liner

Swaying hobo with outstretched arms, as it starts to drizzle: I make it rain, I make it rain, I make it rain on you, hoes!

–14th St & University Place

Conductor over PA, on sunny 50-degree day: Due to inclement weather, the 2 and 3 trains will be running on the local track.

–Downtown 1 Train

Overheard by: Ladle

Bag lady: I'm not selling ass, just panhandling. It's too cold.

–9th Ave & 25th St

Really tall dude to no one in particular, very energetically: It's a beautiful day, oh my god! I'm gonna cancel all my appointments and go on a walk!

–2nd & Bedford

Angry stranded guy: And you were all like "it doesn't snow in the city, there are too many cars!"

–Bleecker St

Posted on October 14, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Bag ladies, Brooklyn, Cars and Driving, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Conductors, Guys, Hobos, Jobs & Careers, On the Subway, One-liners, Panhandling, Passengers, Public Transportation, Strangers, The Village, Weather, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Wednesday Out-Liners

Cop to others, coming out of bodega: I was into fucking rainbows even before the gays.

–Bedford & S 3rd

Overheard by: Rocky

Tall blue-collar guy to short blue-collar guy: So, how did your date with that guy go? Did you get any action?

–Broadway

Guy on cell: I still don't see how being a dude and preferring other dudes sexually makes me gay.

–Q Train

Hipster on cell: This isn't gay, it's revenge!

–Ave C & 7th St

Guy to friends, matter of factly: So apparently he went there for drugs and/or homosexual sex.

–Rockefeller Center

30-something woman to another: Because she's gay, does that mean I need to pay for everything?

–Central Park

Overheard by: Tom Guest

Posted on October 14, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Backdoor, Blue-collar workers, Brooklyn, Central Park, Cops, Coworkers, Dating, Drugs, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Guys, Hipsters, Money & Class, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Questions, Rockefeller Center, Sexuality, Street, Stupidity, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

The Black Flag is at Half-mast

Guy #1: You do such dumb shit.
Guy #2: I do not.
Guy #1: Well, what about that E-trades tattoo on your leg?
Guy #2: I’m hardcore!

–1 train

Chick: Sell-out by day…
Suit: Shut up, okay? Whatever pays the bills.

–CBGBs, The Bowery

Overheard by: Sarah Royal

Drunk guy on cell: Dude, that’s crap, you gotta live hardcore!

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: Kate Elizabeth

Teen girl: Man this sucks. Where are all the punks?

–8th & Broadway

Overheard by: Mary

Chick: Darryl doesn’t even know what hardcore is, first off. He was all, “What, is that like some kind of porn?”.

–2nd & A

Overheard by: Kira

Punk girl: Fight bureaucracy!
Suit: You’re not the boss of me.

–Leonard between Broadway & Church

Overheard by: Lakini Malich

Posted on October 13, 2014
Alphabet City, Bars & Clubs, Brooklyn, CBGB, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Favorites, Jobs & Careers, Manhattan, On Cell, On the Subway, People, Places, Porn, Punks, Sex, Soho, Suits, Tattoos, Teens, Topics, Union Square and East Village, Venues, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, West Village, Williamsburg, Words

The Hipster Progression, Step 19: Embracing the Grateful Dead before Your Friends Do

Hipster: It smells like acid rain.

–Smith St. Carroll Gardens

Posted on October 9, 2014
Brooklyn, Hipsters, Sensory Experiences, Weather, Weirdness

Christians Really Shouldn't Complain About Muslims

Young guy, yelling: I don't give a fuck what you think, I'll play my music as loud as I want!
Old lady, yelling: Well, you do whatever you want, you just keep it away from me! I'm with the Lord. I've got the love of Christ in my heart, you fucking faggot!

–Brooklyn

Posted on October 8, 2014
Brooklyn, God, Guys, Insults, Love, Music, Old People, Wishes & desires, Women

When I Was Pregnant, I Was All, “I Want an Abortion! I Want an Abortion!”

Little boy, seeing long line for movie tickets: I’m not waiting! This line is too long!
Mom: You have to learn to wait in lines… God, you complain more than a pregnant woman.

–Brooklyn

Posted on October 8, 2014
Boys, Brooklyn, Comebacks, Default, Gripes, Kids, Moms

Wednesday One-Liner Is Murder

Black man: I can never watch you eat sausage again. It was the most awkwardly erotic thing I've ever seen. It was the perfect combination of food and female.

–Pratt Coffee Shop, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Maryrose

Boy to friend: And then the teacher said: "and that's the history of ham"!

–Queens

Overheard by: alex

Young woman on cell: Well, I would go to Gray's for hot dogs with you, but I can't. I gave up tubed meat for lent.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Caroline

Cute teen girl: It'd be like a floppy bag of meat… (pause) I'm not talking about dick!

–Starbucks

Woman placing drive-thru order: And two junior bacon cheeseburgers. Actually, I don't want the bacon. I don't want to get the swine flu.

–Wendy's Drivethru, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Oh the Pig-manity!

Upset Orthodox Jew mother to baby in stroller: Bacon!? Who told you about bacon!?

–West End & West 100th St

Posted on October 8, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Babies, Black People, Boys, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Food, Friends, Illness, Jewish Moms, Judaism, Junk Food & Fast Food, Kids, Kink, Men, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Penis, Queens, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, School and studying, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Starbucks, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

…That Was You?

Hipster guy #1: Last night I started fighting with someone.
Hipster guy #2: Are you serious? I'm always fighting other people. Cause y'know, that's the only thing you can do besides kiss them.
Hipster guy #2: This one time I accidentally kissed someone and I was like “eewwwww”.
Hipster guy #1: Ewww.

–Brooklyn Heights

Overheard by: What the hell were they talking about?

Posted on October 7, 2014
Brooklyn, Fighting and ass kicking, Hipsters, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Sensory Experiences