Have You Ever Read Wednesday One-Liners… on Weed?

Man on cell: Do you have any (quieter and mumbled) bagms? (pause, more intense) Do you have any (mumbled)? (one word at a time) Weed! Weed! Do you have any weeeed? (pause) No? Nothing? Well you're not much of a drug dealer then, are you?

–77th St & 3rd Ave, Bay Ridge, Brooklyn

Overheard by: fet

Hipster: …becoming a teacher and then getting arrested for marijuana possession in South Korea.

–L Train

Overheard by: paola

Boy running by: They're playing frisbee! I have to roll a joint!

–Pratt Institute

Teenage girl to guy with long hair and long beard in a tie-dye shirt: You look like you could be some kind of famous stoner.

–L Train

Mother to seven-year-old son (angrily): Don't you ever tell anyone else at school that I smoke marijuana! I'll go to jail and you'll be dead! (suddenly calm) It is, however, something I personally believe people should have a right to do.

–M102 Bus

Posted on July 30, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Boys, Brooklyn, College, Compare/Contrast, Crime and Punishment, Education, Global Geography, Hipsters, Jobs & Careers, Men, Moms, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Bus, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Questions, Stoners, Threats, Weed

The Difference Between Delivery and DiGiorno

Female coworker: I would pay for it.
Male coworker: You are paying for it, they're just not putting it in.

–16th & 5th

Overheard by: Brownsvillegirl

Posted on July 29, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Coworkers, Default, Men, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Women, Words

God, I Love Playing Grand Theft Auto

Frat boy #1: I feel like I just had sex.
Frat boy #2: Yeah, I know the feeling.

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Commuter

Posted on July 29, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Default, Frat Boys, Grand Central, Sensory Experiences, Sex

Isn't That the Highest Compliment Among Your People?

Queer #1: Sometimes you remind me of Donny Osmond.
Queer #2: Sometimes you remind me of an asshole.

–NYU

Posted on July 29, 2008
About Celebrities, Compare/Contrast, Default, Insults, NYU, Queer guys

Gene Simmons: What?! I Fucking Quit!

High school hipster #1: Dude, you know that guy Ray Simmons?
High school hipster #2: Who?
High school hipster #1: Ray Simmons, Ray Simmons. I dunno dude, the fucking guy from KISS.
High school hipster #3: Richard Simmons.
High school hipster #1: Yeah, that's it, Richard Simmons.

–Path Train to NYC

Overheard by: sweatin' to the oldies

Posted on July 29, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Default, Hipsters, Music, Names, Questions, Students, Teens, Trains Not Subway

Plus, I Got You That Golden Ticket, Veruca

Three-year-old: I have a lot of M&Ms at mommy's house.
Dad: Yes, but you get more snacks at daddy's house.

–Path Train

Overheard by: Jatmos

Posted on July 29, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Dads, Default, Food, Kids, Parents, Trains Not Subway

For Me, Getting Married Would Be Like Playing Madhouse

Drunk girl #1: Oh my god! Getting married is like playing house! It sucks!
Drunk girl #2: Yeah! I never want to get married or have kids. I have too many mental illnesses to pass along.

–L Train

Posted on July 28, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Default, Drunks, Girls, Illness, Kids, Marriage, On the Subway, Stupidity

Like, What’s with the Curly Hair?

Nurse #1: So what are you guys doing for passover?
Nurse #2: Nothing.
Nurse #1: No Seder?
Nurse #2: I’m not Jewish.
Nurse #1: No way? Really?
Nurse #2: Really.
Nurse #1: Yes, you are.
Nurse #2: I’m not.
Nurse #1: You totally are. I know you are.

–Mount Sinai Hospital

Overheard by: Janis

Posted on July 27, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Coworkers, Default, Holidays, Hospitals, Judaism, Nurses, Questions, Weirdness

Well, That Is the Default Setting

College girl #1: So I think I’ll just get the whole thing waxed, so that the next time I go, it just won’t hurt that much.
College girl #2: I don’t get it.
College girl #1: Like, I’ll be hairy the first time, so it will hurt, and then when I go back, I’ll be like: “Oh, that wasn’t as painful as the first time.”
College girl #2: Shit, shut up! You’re so loud! Now that guy knows you have a hairy vagina.

–Union Square Train Station

Overheard by: the trainman

Posted on July 26, 2008
Advice, Compare/Contrast, Default, Etiquette, Hair, Sensory Experiences, Sorority Girls, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Waxing

And Is Lucky the Leprechaun a Prima Donna in Real Life?

(Irish service elevator operator is showing new guy the ropes, delivery Thug walks in)
Operator, with Irish brogue: What’s up?
Thug: 11 C, man. (thug looks at the new guy)
Thug: You new man? Yo, I gotta ask you a question, do you drink beer?
New guy: Yup.
Thug: You drink Guinness?
New guy: Yeah, sometimes.
Thug: Alright, I gotta know, is the Guinness here different from the Guinness back home?
New guy: I am a Long Island Jew.
Thug: Shit, for real? I thought everybody who worked here was from Ireland.
(thug gets off the elevator to make delivery)
Operator: You should’ve asked him if it’s different buying food in a supermarket instead of having to chase and kill it with a spear.

–E 77th St

Posted on July 25, 2008
9 to 5-ers, Advice, Compare/Contrast, Coworkers, Default, Drinks, Global Geography, Guys, Insults, Irish, Judaism, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Questions, Thanks, Long Island! (Male JAPs), Thugs, Upper East Side

Compare/Contrast

Isn't That the Highest Compliment Among Your People?