Geek speedwalking through rush-hour crowd with hands over head: Parasites, parasites, parasites!
–34th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: it is what it is
African-American lady: The secret life of… What? Who's "bees"?
–Loews Kips Bay
Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman
Woman: I'm a fruit fly. That's like a fag hag, only prettier.
–3rd & St. Mark's
Female suit on cell: We're dealing with racist ladybugs here.
–44th & Lexington
Overheard by: LP421
Little girl, running along platform: Mommy! Mommy! Slow down! Mommy, it smells like penis in here!
–Grand Central
Girl to another: Do you have a hand wipe? I totally smell like rape right now.
–44th St & Broadway
Guy to friend: She said I smelled like shit and I said, "what like, asshole?"
–59th St & Lexington
Girl on phone: Your hands smell like what? Your hands smell like urine? Why would you say that?
–Brooklyn College
Hobo on overcrowded train: Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Homeless Ed, and I am homeless, and I smell like shit. If any of you can spare some change so I can buy some deodorant, it would be greatly appreciated.
–Downtown A Train
Overheard by: christopher james
Female grad student on cell: Have you ever done the inter-borough walk of shame smelling like penis?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Conductor: This is East Broadway station, and something smells yummy.
–F Train
Guy #1: I hate this next fucking station. It’s covered in black mold.
Guy #2: That shit’s deadly. It smells like burnt chocolate.
Guy #1: Instead of spending 8 billion dollars trying to get the Olympics, why don’t they spend 8 thousand dollars and fix the fucking ceiling at the goddamn 59th Street station?
–N train
Girl #1: You know what's ghetto, though?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: When an aunt is younger than the niece. That's ghetto.
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: Vinny
Woman #1: She was as dumb as molasses.
Woman #2: Well, molasses don't have a brain.
Woman #1: Well, she was as dumb as that.
–Macy's
Girl: Am I the cutest?
Guy: Maybe…are we including dead people?
–143rd & Broadway
Overheard by: djlindee
Black guy, cutting in front of line at movie theater: Excuse me, Barack Obama is President now. Thank you.
–AMC Movie Theater
Overheard by: Emmy
Man with hand stuck in bus door to bus driver: We got a black President and you actin' like this? You civil service!
–14D Bus
Sketching Jamaican hobo: Obama is some kinda skateboard.
–Shuttle to Times Square
Subway hobo: How come Obama don't have sex with his wife no more? Because every time she opens her legs, he sees bush!
–1 Train
Man to toddler in his arms: That's Obama. He's gonna save us all from doom! From doom!
–University & 12th St
Gray-haired Man: I can get a hell of a lot more with my finger than I can with that.
–East of Eighth, 23rd St.
Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Guy #1: Her sister was dating Martin Short.
Guy #2: But she likes that homeless type.
Guy #1: Yeah, you’re not creepy enough for her.
–Akira Sushi, St. Mark’s Place
Little girl: Daddy, what's an orgasm?
Dad: It's kinda like a sneeze. Now don't ask me any more questions.
–Times Square
