Transplanted valley girl: I had so much sex sophomore year, but, like, I could never get a boyfriend!
Guy: Hmmmmm, weird!
–E 6th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: pete gunz
Transplanted valley girl: I had so much sex sophomore year, but, like, I could never get a boyfriend!
Guy: Hmmmmm, weird!
–E 6th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: pete gunz
Girl: So I don't steal from privately owned places and shit, I steal from like CVS.
Guy: The funniest thing I ever stole was a five-dollar finger vibrator.
Girl, excited: Did it work?
Guy: Yeah, it was the shit! You can borrow it anytime.
–NYU Dorm
Overheard by: Mika
Old british man, to liquor store employees: Have any of you ever tried this beer?
Thugged-out liquor store employee #1: Nah.
Old british man: Oh, it’s a splendid Belgian stout, very sweet. It’s my absolute favorite variety of Belgian beer. You should try it sometime. It is absolutely divine, a tastebud sensation the likes of which I can guarantee you’ve never known. Well, have a great night, chaps. [Pays for his beer and walks out.]Thugged-out liquor store employee #1: Yo, dog, you hear that guy’s accent? You think his accent was real?
Thugged-out liquor store employee #2: Nah.
Thugged-out liquor store employee #1: I don’t think so, either.
Thugged-out liquor store employee #2: It couldn’t have been real. You hear that guy? He ain’t from no foreign country. He spoke perfect English.
–Liquor Store, Manhattan
Overheard by: daile
Girl on cell with dog in her bag: So I was just like "You're a friggin douche!" (pauses and looks in bag) Fuck! My asshole dog just shit in my bag! (takes dog out) Oh my god! It shit in my lap! It's everywhere! Help me, Dana!
–D Train
Overheard by: Hahahahaaaaa
Passerby to young woman tying up about 10 dogs, singing: Who let the dogs out? Who?
–E 90th St
Six-year-old girl to mother: And then I said, "Oh, Shihtzu!"
–Houston & Orchard
Overheard by: j
Man on cell: I mean, I don't want to compare her to a dog. But, I just don't want to pet that, if you know what I mean.
–E 4th St & Lafayette
Overheard by: amanda
Large scruffy man in deli apron, watching hot Latina: Woof! (pause) Sorry baby, it's just the dog in me. Woof!
–2nd Ave & 94th St
Fat man to female friend: I don't know that dogs are delicious. Rather, I know that pork is.
–Broadway & Chambers St
Overheard by: Carolyn S
Girl, pointing at Dachshunds: Look, Chihuahuas!
–Winter Gardens
Blond, after strenuous workout: God, I look like I just fucked the football team.
Blond friend: Guys like that look.
–Chelsea Piers
Overheard by: MtZ
Teen girl #1: You know, besides Manhattan, Brooklyn is the coolest borough.
Teen girl #2: Obviously. Queens is boring, the Bronx is scary, and Staten Island is a myth.
–Brooklyn Bridge
NYU girl #1 (singing): “Jingle bells/Jingle bells…”
NYU girl #2: Would you stop singing Christmas music, you're Jewish! Sing “Dreidel, dreidel”!
NYU girl #1: Ewwww.. No, I hate that stupid Jew song!
–Q Train
JAP: I can't believe all these people would come to New York to hang out in a mall.
Guy: We're here.
JAP: At least we only came from downtown.
–Bouchon Bakery, Time Warner Center
Overheard by: jj
Boyfriend: I've got it. A giant human hamster ball.
Girlfriend: You are not putting our daughter in a hamster ball to keep her away from weird men.
Boyfriend: But you have to admit it's better than the idea of a leash or the electric fence.
–81st & York
Hobo: You white, right?
Hipster: Uh, yeah.
Hobo: I’m the 10 thousand-foot-tall sequoia tree, and you’re a 10 thousand-year-old white man!
–6 train
