Five-year-old boy to mother: It smells like penis in here!
Embarrassed mother: “Peanuts”. Honey, you mean “peanuts”.
Five-year-old boy: No. Penis! (points to his crotch)
–Duane Reade in Penn Station
Overheard by: Dawn D.
Five-year-old boy to mother: It smells like penis in here!
Embarrassed mother: “Peanuts”. Honey, you mean “peanuts”.
Five-year-old boy: No. Penis! (points to his crotch)
–Duane Reade in Penn Station
Overheard by: Dawn D.
Chick: That bartender has such huge tits. Are you sure you don’t wish I had bigger tits?
Dude: Honey, you know I love you just the way you are.
Chick: You’re just saying that because I blow you every single night.
Dude: Well, it doesn’t hurt.
–Bar
Overheard by: Debra, The Barmaid Blog
Guy: My wife doesn’t like my tattoos.
Woman next to him: I’ve always thought that marriage should be like a driver’s license. You can either renew it after five years… or not.
–F Train
Young woman on cell: So I said to him, are you going to listen to Barbra Streisand forever?
–Christopher & Bleecker
Overheard by: Korky
20-something girl: I'm a teenager! I collect pogs and say "suck it," and listen to Kriss Kross!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Claire H.
Guy: Man, these guys are like The Beatles of my generation.
–In Line for Cypress Hill Show, Nokia Theatre
Burly MTA contractor: I mean imagine if it was a dude singing "I kissed a guy and I liked it."
–Chambers St Subway Station
Overheard by: sarah
Trendy girl: I can't believe they charge $1.29 for a song now. What song is worth $1.29?!? Well, I guess "Don't Stop Believing" and "We Are the Champions"… basically any Queen song.
–Coldstone Creamery, Astor Place
Overheard by: Any Britney Song
20-something girl to 20-something boyfriend: Don't dress up like Elton John because I want you to. Dress up like Elton John because you want to.
–Halloween Shop, 11th St & Broadway
Teenager: Dude, my sister is always stealing her friends’ books, but like, sometimes no one has the book she wants, how much easier would it be if there was like, a Blockbuster, but for books.
–Blockbuster
Girlfriend to boyfriend: Did you bring something to read on the train? I’m trying to decide if I want to talk to you, sleep, or read my book.
–A Train
Overheard by: The Green Cat
Teenage girl: I need Romeo and Juliet. But do you have any with, like, the English on one side and Shakespeare on the other?
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Spoiled colleg girl to friend: My mom really wants me to get a nice big tote because she’s really worried about how I’m going to carry all my books. But I’m, like, worried if I’m even going to read my books.
–Outside Bloomingdale’s Dressing Room
Chick: So they called him up on stage, and they were like: "We want to bestow this honor upon you." And he was like: "It is indeed an honor, an honor indeed." And I’m all like: "Come on, like, I mean, seriously, like, who talks like that? Can’t you take it down a notch! Don’t you read US Weekly or anything?
–Starbucks, Woolworth Building
NYU girl to male friend: There’s almost something poetic about it, you know? Like, the 20-year-old Catholic virgin from Connecticut losing it to the older Ecuadorian lothario? Hell, I should just write a book about my life.
–NYU Dining Hall
Quirky 30-something woman #1: When I was dating my ex-boyfriend I felt like I was smuggling drugs… 8 1/2 inches of them.
Quirky 30-something woman #2: Dude, he was smuggling drugs in his scary, scary beard.
–Starbucks
Skinny twink #1: I know that guy.
Skinny twink #2: You know her, that guy from the chorus, the concert-soloist, that guy who blew you at Splash, and now him! That makes the fifth person you've seen that you know, in less than an hour.
Skinny twink #1: Well, New York is this big! (holds up little finger)
Skinny twink #2: And you're a whore.
–Gay Restaurant, Hell's Kitchen
Overheard by: Eugene
Woman: Moving in trash bags is so refugee.
–Park Slope
Dude #1: Lots of people tell me I’m the gayest straight man they know.
Dude #2: Mmmm… No, I know a gayer straight guy than you.
–F station, Bergen St
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Suit on cell: You know, in the 80s everyone and their brother were making limos in their basement.
–17th & Broadway
Overheard by: Vespa
(obnoxious pimped-out car revs up at stop sign, then tears down the road)
Old guy: That guy's goin' back to the future! 88 miles per hour!
–9th & Stuyvesant
Tough-looking woman to younger one: Let me teach you how to break into a car…
–27th b/w 6th & 5th
Overheard by: Kyle
Russian guy on cell (in Russian): I am not seeing her as a woman, I am seeing her as a potential driver of a vehicle.
–Lower East Side
50-something woman: I haven't seen a good pimpmobile since the seventies. I mean, what happened to all the purple, maroon, and gold? What is all of this crap with yellow hummers and black Escalades these days, it's like all the pimps went to finishing school sometime in 1981.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Graham Davis