She Don't Eat Wednesday One-Liners, But She Sure Like the Bone

Woman: Shut up! Do you want to end up alone eating a bologna sandwich in the drunk tank?

–Ave A & 10th

Overheard by: Kira

Coworker to office: I love meatloaf. I would wear it on my head like a hat.

–6th Ave

Overheard by: The Secret Newsbunny

Woman getting in cab: Fatty Magoo! I'm going to eat the shit out of some ribs!

–24th & 7th Ave

NYU boy to friends: Wait! I'm looking at the wrong site…there's all different kinds of sausages.

–Kimmel Center, NYU

Overheard by: lollin.

Hobo: I don't like beef, I don't like chicken, I don't like ribs…I like pussy!

–Lower East Side

Overheard by: J J

Conductor: Everyone please step aside at the next stop and make room for fresh meat.

–L Train

Overheard by: ooshua

Posted on April 15, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Conductors, Coworkers, Crime and Punishment, Drinking & Drunk People, Food, Frat Boys, Friends, Gripes, Hobos, Insults, Junk Food & Fast Food, Lower East Side, NYU, On the Subway, One-liners, Public Transportation, Street, Threats, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Whooo! Check Out the Wednesday One-Liners on That One!

6'6" construction worker with another, to Applebee's host: For two, somewhere really romantic.

–Applebee's, 50th St

Construction worker with Staten Island accent: Chick's like a fuckin' black widow, like, she gets you all swollen up and then just leaves you to fuckin' die.

–47th & 6th

Overheard by: need a tissue?

Construction worker to friend: That guy's got a job at fuckin' fudge pack city!

–33rd & 6th

Overheard by: EthanK

Black construction worker to girl on street: Giiiiiirl, you lookin' good. (to orthodox boys) See, it's that easy.

–Near Edward R Murrow High School

Construction worker on scaffolding, yelling to another: Look! It's a bird! No! It's a plane! No! It's my cock!

–Driggs & N 12th, Greenpoint

Overheard by: Rebecca

Posted on April 1, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Beauty, Birds, Black People, Blue-collar workers, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Construction Guys, Coworkers, Death, Fast Times at New York High, Film, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Insects, Insults, Jobs & Careers, Love, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, One-liners, Penis, Physical appearance, Pick-up Lines, Street, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

We Have Either the Bible, Marie Claire, or a Book Of Crossword Puzzles

Sales associate #1, assisting a customer: Are there any good thrillers in paperback?
Sales associate #2: No.

–Grand Central Terminal

Overheard by: Jake E

Posted on March 31, 2009
Books & Writing, Coworkers, Grand Central, Questions

Take a Wednesday One-Liner. It'll Last Longer.

Woman to friend: Wait till I show you the pictures. He looked so good in the coffin…

–Gym, Westchester Ave

Thug to homies: Yo, we need to take a pic in case the world ends tomorrow.

–Q Train

Overheard by: Robert

Too-cool-for-school coworker: You don't know how to use your scanner?! Shhiiiit, fool! I can teach you that! I taught myself how to use Google Calendar today. I have a Master's in photography.

–NYU

Overheard by: mm

Man on cell: Hi! Oh my gosh, I just got some great pictures of a plane that crashed into the river!

–Hudson River Park

20-something girl on phone with friend: Will you grab my camera from the apartment for me before you come out tonight? (pause) Thanks, I need it to take pictures of my conquests.(pause) All men should fear us.

–Brooklyn

Posted on March 25, 2009
Accidents, All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Brooklyn, Coworkers, Death, Fears, Friends, Girls, Google, Gyms, Insults, Men, NYU, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Physical appearance, Pictures, Questions, Stupidity, Threats, Thugs, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Unfortunately, I Mean That Literally

Coworker #1: See any good costumes this weekend?
Coworker #2: Yeah, I saw this one guy dressed as Borat. You know, with the like thong-leotard thing?
Coworker #1: Oh, wow.
Coworker #2: Yeah…it was really ballsy of him.

–Broadway & Walker

Overheard by: office peon

Posted on March 13, 2009
Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Coworkers, Movies, Questions, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Explains Why I Saw You Cleaning Your Windshield with Her Hair

(guy brings in daughter to work and introduces her to everyone except one woman)
Left out coworker: You brought your daughter in here and introduced her to everyone but me?
Guy: Yeah, so?
Left-out coworker: That's messed up and immature.
Guy: How so? She's my daughter and I do whatever I want with her.

–52nd & 7th

Posted on January 22, 2009
Assholes, Coworkers, Dads, Family Ties, Jobs & Careers, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Stupidity

Which Barely Has Running Water

Drunk man: Me and fat Dave, we're goin' out old school!
Female coworker: Old school?
Drunk man: Yeah, Hoboken!

–Restaurant, 52nd & 10th

Posted on January 22, 2009
Coworkers, Drunks, Friendship, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Restaurants & Cafes, Weirdness, Words

You've Been Saving That Up All Day, Haven't You?

Young male professional: So no, you're wrong about that point, we're going to do it my way.
Young female professional: I hope you get a diaper rash so bad that you start walking like King Kong raped you!

–38th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Untuned2thebeat

Posted on January 20, 2009
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Coworkers, Illness, Movies, Rape, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

I Guess It's More Like Doing the Macarena

Goth female store employee #1: It's not like I'm amputating a leg.
Goth female store employee #2: Not technically.

–Manhattan Store

Posted on January 19, 2009
Body Parts, Compare/Contrast, Coworkers, Goths, Store, Surgery

Don't Worry, There'll Be a New Evil Empire Before You Know It

Coworker #1: When I studied abroad in Germany I was…
Coworker #2 (interrupting): Oh, did you see the Great Wall?
Coworker #1: In China?
Coworker #2: No. (laughs) The one in Germany. Don't they have one in Germany?
Coworker #1: The Berlin wall? That's not there anymore.
Coworker #2: Oh. What a shame.

–Office, Midtown

Overheard by: get me out of finance

Posted on January 16, 2009
Coworkers, Global Geography, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Office, Questions, School and studying, Stupidity, Travel

Coworkers