Huge fat black lady: Dat nigga be bad!
Skinny black dude: Yeah, he real bad!
Huge fat black lady: Dat nigga be ba-aaad!
Laughing black guy sitting across train, screaming: Dat nigga be so bad he be born in jail!
–Q Train
Overheard by: lola
Huge fat black lady: Dat nigga be bad!
Skinny black dude: Yeah, he real bad!
Huge fat black lady: Dat nigga be ba-aaad!
Laughing black guy sitting across train, screaming: Dat nigga be so bad he be born in jail!
–Q Train
Overheard by: lola
Banker guy: I hope you have bail money.
Bouncer guy: Fuck you.
Manager guy: What’s the problem here?
Banker guy: He shoved me.
Manager guy: I don’t know anything about that, but you didn’t bring ID.
Banker guy: I have my Dartmouth ID and my Goldman Sachs ID.
–outside Brass Monkey, Little West 12th Street
Overheard by: pb dot c
Two cop cars are after someone, heading downtown on Fourth Avenue, sirens going. One cop brakes abruptly and throws it into reverse and makes a backward left turn onto 86th Street, where a civilian is sitting in his car, waiting for the light to change. The cop car smashes into the front of the civilian’s car, and the cop announces on
his megaphone: Wake up, dildo!
–Bay Ridge
Intern #1: Yeah, so they finally let me go watch bankruptcy court yesterday.
Intern #2: What was it like?
Intern #1: Everyone was black except me. It kind of felt like when I ride the subway at night.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: James
Teenage nerd: My boss and my dealer have the same name. One time I called my boss asking for weed, and he was like "hey!" and I was like "yo, lemme cop" and he was like "I think you have the wrong number" and I hung up.
–Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: joy
Yuppie 30-something in black coat and white scarf: I'm going crazy! I've got his dealer's number programmed into my phone, but I can't remember her name, so if I call, I won't know who to ask for. And you have to know who to ask for, or they'll think you're a cop!
–16th St & 7th Ave
Loud, mildly intoxicated girl at dinner: People who litter are so much worse than drug dealers.
–Brooklyn
Lady on cell: Tourism is the only industry that doesn't depend on drug cartels.
–14th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Diaz
Teenage boy to friend: So when I was walking by the store I saw this guy being dragged out in handcuffs.
Friend: Shit, why didn't you call the cops or something?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: areyouserious?
Angry guy #1: I was like, ‘The next time some guy says he won’t hire me ’cause I got a record, I’m gonna rob him on the spot!’
Angry guy #2: Damn right!
–6 train
Crazy Italian man to cashier: Fucking asshole! Where's my fucking money, fucking asshole?! You owe me money! She's German!
Cashier: Who?
Crazy Italian man: The German whore owes me $10,000! You'll be finding her body in the basement! That whore better watch out! I'm Italian and I know mafiosi from here to Beverly Hills! …I'll have a coffee to go…
–Europan Cafe, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: ryan and erin
Black guy: I just really don’t wanna go to prison in Africa.
White guy: Of course. And, if at any time you feel like that might be a possibility, the operation comes to a close. I value you and your sweet virgin ass and unslit throat over some cheap pot.
Black guy: That’s how I know you’re a real friend.
–Parking lot, LaGuardia
Overheard by: slightly confused
Little girl: Is that a tattoo?
Woman: Yeah.
Little girl: People die from those, you know.
Woman: From tattoos?
Little girl: Yes. They get tattoos. Then they get cancer. And then they die.
–2nd & A
