Blonde #1: Her doctor's note literally says she cannot take the stairs. Like, her body physically can't do it.
Blonde #2: Well, then she needs to eat something!
–FIT Cafeteria
Blonde #1: Her doctor's note literally says she cannot take the stairs. Like, her body physically can't do it.
Blonde #2: Well, then she needs to eat something!
–FIT Cafeteria
40-something man to small toddler: I love you very much, sir.
Toddler: (inaudible gibberish)
40-something man: I will make you very rich, sir.
Toddler: (more inaudible gibberish)
40-something man: When I die you will be very wealthy, sir.
Toddler: (more inaudible gibberish)
40-something man: I will make you so much motherfucking money, sir. You will be so motherfucking rich, sir.
–12th St & Ave B
Overheard by: John
Drunk hipster girl: If I was to drop dead in the middle of that party, all those frat boys would fuck my corpse.
Friend: Word.
–78th & Madison
Prada-clad German professor: It is not chic to be dead, ja?
–NYU
Woman: Okay, I’ll see you later! Tell your wife I hope she finds the body!
–84th & 1st
Overheard by: Omar
WASP lady: Alan has been so much better since Maggie’s murder.
–Village-bound cab, 9th Ave
Overheard by: Tang
Woman: I don’t do death well.
–Chelsea
Dude: What does a ham sandwich have to do with the death of Christ?!
–Bleecker & Bowery
Women on cell: No, they only have male cadavers… Yeah, it is a bummer.
–Union St, Park Slope
Overheard by: Mitchell
NYU girl: It was amazing, and I also saw a dead guy on the street this morning. I saw Oprah and a dead guy all in one day!
–Starbucks, W 4th St
Girl #1: So how is every thing?
Girl #2: Good, I talked to James… He’s dying.
Girl #1: Ah, I see.
Girl #2: Yeah, so things are great! (nods repeatedly)
–Exiting City Hall Station
Teen girl #1: I have to write an expository essay on something that has impacted my life.
Teen girl #2: Has anyone in your family ever died?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, but no one, like, close to me.
Teen girl #2: Do you have any, like, retards in your family?
Teen girl #1: No, but I did meet a retard one time… He was, like, really retarded, too. Maybe I’ll write about that…
–F train
Chick #1: Well, I wouldn’t mind posing in a cadaver.
Chick #2: Yeah, I know that…
–30th & Lexington
Overheard by: Indomitus
NYU girl #1: Guess what? I’m going to Truman Capote’s house tomorrow!
NYU girl #2: Wow!
NYU girl #1: Yeah.
NYU girl #2: To meet him?
NYU girl #1: Oh, no. He’s, like, totally dead.
–Jane St, near W 4th St
Girl #1: To tell the truth, I don't know why everyone's sad he's gone… He sounded like a horrible person. He wasn't exactly a faithful guy, from what I've heard.
Girl #2: Well, no, he only cheated on her once.
Girl #1: Once is one time too many! And he seems like the type to beat her, too.
Girl #2: No. Well, wait… He did… But it was only once.
Girl #2: Oh, okay! Only once…
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Itwasonlyonce
Teenage blonde girl to another: You know what pisses me off? You can't look American.
Friend: Umm, yeah you can.
Teenage blonde girl: No, because you would have to look Indian, but all the Indians are dead. Christopher Columbus killed them all. I'm still really mad about that.
–G Train
