Things Got Awkward When They Brought Up Aaron

Drunk hipster: God, I just loved Charlie, why did they have to kill him?
Drunk 30-something: No, I'd do Locke, even with his crazy eye.
Drunk hipster: Oh, Sawyer's a babe.
Drunk 30-something: No shit! I'd drink beer out of his shoe.

–Sin Sin Bar, East Village

Overheard by: not as drunk

Headline by: erak

Runners-Up:
· “…And Freebase the Smoke Monster” – DCGeek
· “I’d Drink Beer Out Of a Lot Of Things, Though” – Paul. R
· “This Could Totally Be Me and My Friends” – james
· “Yeah, Well I’d Lick Jam Off Sayed’s Back Bro….” – Ria

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on July 9, 2009
Bars & Clubs, Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Headline Contest Winners, Hipsters, Murder, Questions, Shoes, TV, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners Won't Remember This Tomorrow

Drunk girl to friend: No, 'cause my kids are gonna be city kids and your kids are gonna be country kids and my kids aren't gonna wanna talk to your kids!

–University Place & 12th

Overheard by: Mikalena

Drunk white girl: Who owns New York City? Who's got it on lock down more than Jay-Z?

–8th St & 3rd Ave

Drunken girl to friend: He's divorced. Is it okay if I fuck him?

–E 14th St

Overheard by: Mimi

Drunken bro, stumbling into hookah bar with friends: Do you think they have penis flavor?!

–Hookah Bar, 1st Ave

Drunk frat boy, sitting in trash can, drinking Bacardi Mojito bottle: This is the end man! This is the fucking end!

–Church & Canal

Overheard by: Ben

Drunk girl on phone: Hello? What happened? Your dad died? Oh…what? Your dog died? Oh, I though you said your dad died. Wait…are you laughing or crying? Cuz if you're crying, I hate you. Sorry, I'm on the train right now, and I'm drunk off my ass.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Igor Petrov

Posted on July 8, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Compare/Contrast, Crying, Death, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Frat Boys, Friends, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Kids, Laughter, Man's Best Friend, Music, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Penis, Penn Station, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Street, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, White People

Wednesday One-Liners from Beyond the NYC Event Horizon

Five-year-old girl, holding her nose, to mother: It smells here! It smells like New Jersey! Mommy! It smells like New Jersey!

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Cicero

Teenager: Oh, wow, I didn't know New Jersey had any buildings.

–Christopher St. Pier

Girl on cell: I think I slept with a whore. Then I woke up in Jersey.

–Washington Square

Overheard by: Rachel

Crazy-sounding drunk girl: Ewww, why are there so many people from New Jersey here?

–Bowery & E 4th

Overheard by: do they emit a particular odor?

NYU guy trying to impress girls: My dad actually grew up right around here. Well…in New Jersey.

–St. Mark's & 3rd Ave

Girl sitting on raised metal platform on front deck to friend: Hey, do you want to turn around? We're looking at Jersey again.

–NYU LSP Boat Cruise

Posted on July 1, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Frat Boys, Friends, Girls, Grand Central, Kids, Moms, NYC Geography, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Pick-up Lines, Prostitution, Questions, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Train Station, Union Square and East Village, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, West Village

It's Not Delivery– It's Wednesday One-Liner!

Student: A lot more people would definitely vote if there was free pizza at polling places.

–Queens College

Overheard by: Suze

Hipster: Papa John's makes me want to have Aids.

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: Matthew K. Johnson

Drunk person: Hey! This isn't the original Ray's!

–Ray's Pizza

Overheard by: Darwin

Girl to friend: So you only need a slice of pizza to get you wet?

–Slaughtered Lamb Pub

Overheard by: sinko

Old dude carrying blue plastic bag to pigeon: Pizza! My darling! Pizza! My pizza!

–9th St & 1st Ave

Hobo to passers-by: You need a dog! Don't eat the pizza, you will get fat!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Lily

Posted on July 1, 2009
Advice, AIDS, All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Birds, Compare/Contrast, Diet/Weight, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Fakes, Free stuff!, Friends, Girls, Hipsters, Hobos, Man's Best Friend, Old People, One-liners, Physical appearance, Pizza, Politics, Queens, Queens College, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Strangers, Street, Students, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Williamsburg, Wishes & desires

Ever Feel Like There's Less Mystery in the Gay Dating Scene?

Drunk guy #1: Don't take this the wrong way, but I really want to take you home tonight.
Drunk guy #2: How am I supposed to take that?
Drunk guy #1, seriously: In the ass.

–F Train

Posted on June 30, 2009
Ass, Backdoor, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Gays and Lesbians, On the Subway, Wishes & desires

Careful– She's a Nunja

Drunk girl: Hey, you know that girl over there?
Sober friend: Yeah.
Drunk girl: She's… She's a virgin… In all ways.

–F Train

Posted on June 26, 2009
Drunks, Friends, Girls, On the Subway, Questions, Virginity

Actually, I Hear White Castle Is a Lot Better on the Way Out

Ghetto lady, about young, drunk yuppie throwing his guts up: Daaaamn, that shit's spicy.
Ghetto man to yuppie's girlfriend: You gonna tongue-kiss that nigga now?

–D Train

Overheard by: i bet it was thai

Posted on June 25, 2009
Drunks, Gangstas, Ghetto Chicks, Girlfriends, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, On the Subway, Questions, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Vomit, Yuppies

I'm Talking No-Beer-Goggles Cute

Drunk girl on phone: Yeah, so I decided that I'll go on a date with you. (pause) Well, I made out with some guy tonight and… (pause) No, I don't think he's cuter than you. He's not really cute at all!
Guy she made out with: Um, I'm right here.
Drunk girl: Shhhhhhhhhh, I'm setting up a date with a cute guy!

–1st Ave & 8th St

Overheard by: amused

Posted on June 23, 2009
Beauty, Compare/Contrast, Dating, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Girls, Guys, On Cell, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

…Unless You're Going to Prank Call Her.

Disheveled middle aged man: You are drunk! You are drunk! You are drunk!
Drunk disheveled middle aged woman, leaning against car: Don't you ever call my mother on Mother's Day again.

–Washington Heights

Overheard by: Tess

Posted on June 22, 2009
Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Men, Parents, Washington Heights and Inwood, Weirdness, Women

That's Just Springtime in New York, Sweetie

Drunk woman: You smell like shit!
Sober 20-something: I took a shower after I went to the gym.
Drunk woman: Did you shower in shit?
Sober 20-something: No.
Drunk woman: Oh.
(pause)
Drunk woman: Are you sure?

–Lafayette & Houston

Overheard by: Luke

Posted on June 21, 2009
Cleanliness, Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Fitness, Poop, Questions, Sensory Experiences, The Village, Women

Drunks