Dude #1: You know, Gerard Butler has it good. He's good-looking, but not too good-looking, he's not that ripped…
Dude #2: What the hell not ripped? Gerard Butler is stacked!
Dude #1: He's totally not. He may have been for 300, but I asked him to lift up his shirt, and he's not.
–Elevator, The Met
Man, eyeing stranger's iced coffee: So… does that come already sweetened?
Stranger with coffee: Yeees…
Man: So… They just put ice in the coffee, and it becomes iced coffee?
Stranger with coffee: Dude, you really need to get out more.
–Elevator, Centre Street Municipal Building
Overheard by: Emma
Man: That’s a very cute dog!
Girl #1: Yes, she is. My dad got her at a pet store. He was going to get a dog at the shelter, but he didn’t want to.
Girl #2: Yeah, so the dog he would have gotten at the shelter died, because it was a kill shelter.
Dad: Um, I’m not really taking full responsibility for that.
Girl #1: The dog was killed. Just because you didn’t want it.
Girl #2: Yeah, dad.
Dad: Really. I think this is less than 5% my fault. Look, this where we get off.
Man: Have a good night! Sleep well.
–Elevator, 82nd & 3rd
Overheard by: emily
(man and woman chatting, he has a slight pot belly)
Woman: Do you work out?
Man: Yes, I do, actually.
Woman (in disbelief): Really?
–Elevator 2, Penn Plaza
Dude #1: Today, I saw someone wearing jeans that were like, way too tight.
Asian chick: Skinny jeans? I love skinny jeans!
Dude #1: On a guy? These were on a guy!
Asian chick: Oh, then… no.
Dude #1: Guys shouldn’t wear their jeans that tight. It’s bad for the balls.
Dude #2: It’s seriously bad for the balls. It’s unhealthy.
Asian chick (skeptically): Nuh-uh.
Dude #2: You wouldn’t know!
Dude #1: You don’t even have balls!
Asian chick: No. (considers) But if I did, I’d play with them all the time.
–NYU Elevator
Overheard by: Hannah
Guy #1: Y’know, I really just need to get it through her head that there’s nothing wrong with waking up naked in a Jewish synagogue.
Guy #2: Yeah… I feel that, man.
Guy #1: I mean, now that it’s happened more than once, she really needs to realize that it’s okay.
–NYU Gallatin Elevator
Woman in elevator: So then he just bit off the hamster’s head.
Man in elevator: That’s gross.
Woman in elevator: I’m telling you. That’s what happens when you don’t feed babies. They just bite off hamsters’ heads and eat them. It’s disgusting.
Man just entering elevator: This is so disturbing.
–Elevator, Ripley-Ggrier Studios
Overheard by: a poor victim of this conversation
Girl: As long as I don’t get that anthrax thingy I’m cool with the chicken.
–Elevator 112 west 34th st
Overheard by: Rebecca
Five-year-old: Why do babies look like chickens?
–Nederlander Theatre
Overheard by: Jordan
Man explaining menu to wife: You know fried chicken: the chicken with the crust.
–Virgils BBQ, 44th St
Overheard by: fish
Teacher, after seeing one of her seven-year-old students smell an empty subway seat: Sienna, there are 10,000 people a day sitting in that very seat. What do you think it would smell like? Chicken?
–F Train
Overheard by: Marlene Saunders
Woman to man: Everyone loves when you throw the chicken.
–Court & Joralemon, Brooklyn Heights
20-something girl: … And then he drank the holy water, wait, no. I drank the holy water, and he got sick, but I didn’t.
20-something guy: Did it cure your gout?
20-something girl, angrily: I don’t have the gout!
–Crowded Elevator, Atlantic Ave Station, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Tigertail
