Girl #1: She yelled at me for being a stalker!
Girl #2: Why? What did you do?
Girl #1: I was following him with my eyes.
Girl #2: Oh! That’s not so bad. It’s not like you were actually following him, like… With your feet.
Girl #3: Or your vagina.
–Wagner College
20-something dude #1: I saw that fucking movie No Country for Old Men yesterday.
20-something dude #2: Did you like it?
20-something dude #1: It was a low-budget piece of shit. I like quality movies. Like National Treasure – Book of Secrets. That was a great fucking movie!
–4 Train
20-something woman to friends: I mean they said they’d pay me $20 for it. I would show them one for $20, why not? One boob for $20? I mean, maybe they thought it was a big deal since we were at work.
–N Train Platform, 34th St Station
Overheard by: Regina
[Two young woman crossing the street. One turns to the the other and grabs her breast.]Grabber girl: Honk!
[Both giggle and cross street into Victoria’s Secret.]
–34th & Broadway
Overheard by: Chockita
Female boss to employee in low-cut shirt: Your boobs are awesome. But -I’m just gonna have to do this. [Pulls up employee’s neckline.] Because…I just wanna dive in there. Head-first.
–Theater, St Marks Place
Overheard by: fhqwhgads
Professor: So you see, men only like women’s boobs because of cleavage.
–Bard High School Early College
Tourist girls: [In unison from the door] Booooobies! [Run to the big naked lady sculpture and poses to take a picture].
–Columbus Circle
Teen girl to friend: Julia! Put your titties away!
–14th & 6th
Bored, drunken guy in a silent train cart: So does anyone wanna show their titties?
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Not drunk enough to flash
Conductor: Use all available doors, please. Don’t be afraid of open doors.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Jon A.
Man looking at the BDSM exhibit: That’s not scary. I have one of those!
–Museum of Sex
Overheard by: Rachel K
Big black man to his big black friends: Yo, and I was totally afraid he’d crush my vagina.
–Starbucks, 9th & 57th
Overheard by: newsyspice
Homeless guy: I don’t know why all you people are looking at me scared! This is my game face! Halloween is over!
–G Train
Overheard by: drum
Teen dude: You just can’t be tall and survive on a mountain!
–Halloween Adventure, 11th St & 4th Ave
Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.
Teenage boy: Girls are so lucky… They can feel themselves up whenever they want.
–LIRR
High school girl: I said to her: "What they call you?" … And she said, "TND". And I said, "’TND’?, What’s ‘TND’"? And she said "Top Notch Diva". [Howls with laughter.] She said "Top notch". Nobody say "Top notch"… That was like, last summer… Top notch… [laughs and snickers] and then she say: "What they call you?" and I said "BB"… "Betta bills". [Howls with laughter.]
–#1 Train
Teen boy, with a sigh: Sometimes the world just isn’t as shiny as you want it to be.
–42nd St
Teenager to Mexican friend: Don’t make me call immigration on you.
–Q train, to 57th st
Overheard by: LoRna
Teen: I like the beginning part of the Dido song "Thank you", you know, the depressing part, because I can relate to it. Well, aside from the parts about missing the bus because I have a car and paying bills because my parents do that for me.
–Union Square
Overheard by: UCB
Dumb teen girl #1: So how did they “almost have sex”?
Dumb teen girl #2: Haha, she said “His dick was like -in my vagina… Except we had clothes on”.
Dumb teen girl #1: That’s called dry humping. We did that in like – seventh grade!
Dumb teen girl #2: I know.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Lasar
Blond guy: Hey dude, last week I was sooo drunk.
Brown haired guy: Oh what happened?
Blond guy: I was at a bar, right? Pissed drunk. Then I saw this hot girl, took her over to my place and she slept over. We had a great time until we woke up, and the bed was covered in like sixty individually wrapped Kinder chocolates. I have no idea where they came from, neither one of us were German! They were just all over the bed. ’til this day, I still don’t know where they came from…
Brown haired: Wow.
–74th St Deli
Overheard by: Stephanie
Obnoxious Latino #1: Man, that guy was such a faggot! With that mohawk and those gay-ass glasses.
Obnoxious Latino #2: Hey, I’m wearing the same glasses.
[Silence.]
–1 Train
Little old lady #1: That one woman raised four girls all by herself!
Little old lady #2: Imagine what that did for her sex drive.
–St. James Theater
Overheard by: It only helps if she’s an incestual pedophile.
20-something girl: I was standing there on the subway, and this guy blew on me! And I was like, “Um, what?” and he was like “You started it!” and kept blowing on me! I think he put a curse on me.
Friend: This is why I take cabs.
–4th & 6th
