Woman: Karen’s gone. She resigned. She’s going to California to be with some boy.
Man: Wow, that’s scary.
Woman: Yeah. Especially since when I first met her she was a lesbian.
–Wagner College, Staten Island
Woman: Karen’s gone. She resigned. She’s going to California to be with some boy.
Man: Wow, that’s scary.
Woman: Yeah. Especially since when I first met her she was a lesbian.
–Wagner College, Staten Island
20-something girl to friend: You can't be serious!
Friend: Tasteless clear liquid, I'm telling you what.
20-something girl: Hey, are you in jail? Are you on fire? Then shut the hell up!
–Lexington Ave
Overheard by: Victoria Lynne Blakeman
Young thug to friends: Stop, stop, stop! Stop, seriously, stop. C'mon, I'm not kidding! Seriously. I have shoe phobia!
–Metro-North Rail
Guy with shoe in hand, catching up to woman who lost it: Here you go, Cinderella!
–Manhattan Mall
Overheard by: thorn
Manager of ladies' shoe store: It's easy to close. You put the hooker boots–all this hoochie stuff, with the hooker boots, you put the flats with the flats, you put the day shoes with the day shoes. Now, Narnia over there is another story…
–Macy's
Overheard by: Sarah R
Chick to guy: If you buy me Jimmy Choos, I'll have your baby.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Lets hope she'll have the baby anyway…
Four-year-old girl stepping out of taxi: Mommy, can we go online to buy shoes today?
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: …wow.
Girl #1: I feel like shit. I shouldn’t have slept with that guy.
Girl #2: So what kind of sweater are we looking for?
Girl #1: Anything nice that proves how much I love him.
Girl #2: You should get him a white sweater. White is the color of remorse, I think.
Girl #1: But then he’ll understand I cheated on him. He might actually be suspicious already if I buy him a present without an apparent reason.
Girl #2: Just make him dinner then.
–Banana Republic, 5th Ave.
NYU boy, about man with cane and sunglasses: Why do all blind people have to wear sunglasses?
NYU girl: Isn’t it all part of the persona?
NYU boy: What, like they don’t want me to see their eyes?
NYU girl: I guess. And like how they wear baggy pants and FUBU shit.
NYU boy, slowly, after long pause: I said ‘blind people.’
–F train, 14th St
Overheard by: Lindsay
Conductor: This is 72nd St. Stand clear of the closing doors. B train. B for "brighten up your day" train. (at the next stop) Folks, this is 59th Street, and just like magic we are now an express train. B express train. Stand clear of the closing doors.
–B Train
Overheard by: ryder
Train conductor: You can transfer to the M as in "money," the N as in "Nick," and the R as in "Romeoooooo!"
–D Train
Guy on cell, giving directions: So you take the D line… No, D as in "David." D! D! A, b, c, d! (pause) No, D. Okay…then you walk down to Hoffman Street… Hoffman Street, as in "Dustin Hoffman." He's that actor, with a big nose, that you really like, the one that's in that movie about your life…yeah…yeah! He's a cross-dresser! Tootsie! That's you, bro!
–Arthur Ave
Overheard by: eternal student
Creepy old man to creepy friend: We should be on the V. V for "vagina". We're on the F. F for "fuck."
–Downtown F Train
Overheard by: CL
Conductor: There is no C train like "Charlie" all weekend. The D train like "Dick" is helping us out. I probably shouldn't have said that. It's okay, you'll overlook that when I tell you that this A train will keep its express status.
–A Train
Overheard by: Nay
Ghetto black woman to four-year-old son: The ice ain't gonna respect you, you gotta respect the ice, nigga.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Steven
Obnoxiously loud drunk guy: I need a girl who will respect my receding hairline!
–Virgil's, W 44th St
Overheard by: Check, please!
Thugette: I'm just going to say, "Look, I mean no disrespect, but go fuck yourself. I mean no disrespect, but just go fuck yourself."
–6 Train
Overheard by: i mean disrespect
20-something guy to friend: Man, you don't understand. I really respect this broad…
–35th St & Lexington
Chubby brown haired tween: Give me another hug!
Pretty blonde tween friend, shouting to a different friend: Melanie!
Chubby brown haired tween: I need another hug!
Pretty blonde tween friend, shouting to a different friend: Melanie!
–John Jay Park, Upper East Side
Overheard by: justwalkinthedog
Good looking Italian guy, chatting: I was changing the oil on my car. I figure it's going to shoot out so I put the pail like a foot away. I turned the knob and…whush…all over me…my clothes.
Chubby friend: Good thing you didn't get it in your mouth.
Italian guy: It doesn't taste that bad.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Sibyl
Guy, staring at girl: You look like someone I know.
Girl: It’s me.
Guy: Oh, hi Alexis. You look different at eight in the morning.
–C train
