Somehow RuPaul Always Gets the Short End of the Stick

Black guy: It is the last day of Black History Month and nobody sent me a card?
White guy: Well then, happy Black History Month.
Black guy: Yeah sure, whatever!
White guy: No, seriously, thank you! Thank you for Charlie Parker, Miles Davis, Richard Pryor…
Black guy: Well I guess tomorrow I have to back to sitting in the back of the bus!
White guy: No! What are you talking about? We don’t pick on blacks anymore! That’s what gays are for!
Black guy: Ohhh!

–Graham Street station

Overheard by: Philip Rafferty

Posted on October 2, 2015
About Celebrities, Black People, Gays and Lesbians, History & Geography, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Race, Subway stations, platforms, etc., White People

And by “You” I Mean “Not Me“

Thug #1: And when he walks down the stairs, he's all… (makes obscure hand gesture)
Thug #2: It's on him, though.
Thug #1: Oh, yeah.
Thug #2: I mean, my sister. She's…you know.
Thug #1: I thought it was going to be embarrassing, you know? But it's cool. You talk to the nigga, he's just hilarious, it's all funny, whatever he says.
Thug #3: Yeah, it's cool. Nigga's just totally flaming gay.
Thug #2: His choice, it's on him.
Thug #1: Yeah, man. Whatever you wanna put up your ass, you know, it's cool.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Posted on September 8, 2015
Ass, Backdoor, Gays and Lesbians, On the Subway, Thugs

And Her Embarrassed, Yearning Expression? Thought I’d Die.

Girl #1: Dude, you know she’s gay. Remember when she hit on me?
Girl #2: Oh, yeah! Now I remember! She, like, tried to kiss you, and you fell backwards off the couch! I have never laughed that hard in my life.
Girl #1: Yeah, that was pretty funny.

–F train

Overheard by: Sara

Posted on August 31, 2015
Default, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, On the Subway, Pick-up Lines

All Part of the Great Web of Sugar

Black woman #1: I think Tony could be your sugar daddy.
Black woman #2: Ummm, no.
Black woman #1: Why not?
Black woman #2: No, I don’t think so.
Black woman #1: Why? You guys get along so well.
Black woman #2: Because I think he has a sugar daddy.

–Office building, Midtown

Posted on August 19, 2015
Black People, Gays and Lesbians, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Office, Relationships, Sexuality

Don't Make Me Move You to the Midwest, Son

Cool black guy: I loooooves me some women. Ha, that's why I can't ever be gay, you know? (under breath) I loves me some women…
Young boy with him: I think a gay guy would say the same thing about men.

–E 14th St & 1st Ave

Posted on August 14, 2015
Black People, Boys, Comebacks, Compare/Contrast, Gays and Lesbians, Men, Union Square and East Village

Wednesday One-Liners Powder Their Noses

Female suit in bathroom stall: Well, are you gonna have those files? (pauses, makes bathroom noises) Okay, well, I need it today. Listen…okay…(pauses, more bathroom noises) Great! (pauses, toilet flushes) No, it's okay, go ahead. (pauses) Okay, no, I'm really sorry–I'm just entering the subway, that's what all that noise was. (storms out of the bathroom, doesn't wash her hands)

–34th St & 9th St

Flustered 50-something suit: It's burning! It's burning!

–Penn Station Bathroom

Man in stall: There should be a law against what's coming out of me.

–25th St & Park Ave

Overheard by: I agree

Suit in bathroom on cell: Honey, I can't talk to you right now. (pause) I'm in the bathroom! (pause) I've got a fucking dick in my hand! (pause) What do you mean whose dick?

–Restroom, Grand Central

Six-year-old kid, finishing at urinal: Shake the weasel!

–Men's Room, Regal Battery Park City Cinemas

Overheard by: Russ Wall

Posted on August 13, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Battery Park, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Crime and Punishment, Fire, Gays and Lesbians, Grand Central, Kids, Men, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, One-liners, Pee, Penis, Penn Station, Poop, Sensory Experiences, Street, Suits, Train Station, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Does It Help That We’re Related?

Teen boy #1: Dude, are you gay?
Teen boy #2: No. Why?
Teen boy #1: Because I saw you whacking off to your cousin! Did you shoot on him?
Teen boy #2: No, we were comparing sizes!
Teen boy #1: Well, that’s gay. You’re never suppose to show your stuff to another guy!

–5th Ave

Overheard by: Austin Crumpler

Posted on August 10, 2015
Default, Family Ties, Gays and Lesbians, Gripes, Guys, Manhattan, Masturbation, Teens

Wednesdays Pad Their One-Liners

Football player on razor scooter, chasing shirtless theater major: I'll get you my pretty… And your little dick too!

–Wagner College

Girl, looking at long ladies bathroom queue: At times like these, I wish women had dicks.

–Winter Garden Theatre

Slightly drunk man: I feel like someone just shut a door on my dick.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Sunny

Hooker to pimp: I had to suck his dick in front of everyone!

–Outside Penn Station

Overheard by: David

Posted on August 9, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Athletes, Beauty, BJs, College, Drunks, Gangstas, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Girls, Men, One-liners, Park Slope, Pee, Penis, Penn Station, Physical appearance, Pick-up Lines, Prostitutes, Queer guys, Sensory Experiences, Students, Theater, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Eh, I'm Just in It for the Sodomy

Gay guy #1: We should get tickets to a musical in April.
Gay guy #2: I don't like musicals.
Gay guy #1: What?
Gay guy #2: I don't like plays.
Gay guy #1: Gay.

–Barnard College

Posted on August 7, 2015
Columbia (& Barnard), Gays and Lesbians, Queer guys, Singing, Theater & Dance

That’s It — I’m Getting a Bigger Monitor!

Ghetto queer, mocking ghetto chick: ‘It’s been so nice seeing you again…’
Ghetto chick: You know, I’ve been friends with him for so long, but something about seeing him today was just so… different. I guess maybe his essence was just too big for a MySpace page.

–72nd & Broadway

Overheard by: Has been waiting for this.

Posted on August 6, 2015
Black People, Friendship, Gays and Lesbians, Ghetto Chicks, Gripes, Myspace, Queer guys, Time, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Words

Gays and Lesbians