Little girl: Mommy, mommy, look, that doggie is pee-peeing on the sidewalk!
Mom: Yeah, just like daddy last night.
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: suzz
Little girl: Mommy, mommy, look, that doggie is pee-peeing on the sidewalk!
Mom: Yeah, just like daddy last night.
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: suzz
Tipsy, barefoot woman, lifting skirt in broad daylight: Gotta air out my coochie!
–W 88th St
Belligerent drunk woman: I've never even heard of these fucking stops! (later) Scarsdale! I don't even know how to spell "Scarsdale"! Other than…Scarsdale. (later) What the fuck is Hartsdale? Slap me across the face with a big dick!
–Metro-North Train
Drunk girl to friends sitting on a couch left on the sidewalk: Don't sit on that couch, it's probably covered in bodily urine!
–East Village
Overheard by: Herr Professor Doktor
Drunk wife to drunk husband during poker game: Don't you dare tell me about things that I don't understand!
–Poker Game, Astoria
Overheard by: NYCWATERBABY
Drunk girl: Bedford Avenue does not know how to find the clit!
–L Train
Girl #1: And then he said that when he sees people, he likes to picture what kind of dog they’d be. Apparently I’m a Golden Retriever, and he’s a German Shepherd, and those breeds just don’t mix.
Gril #2: That is fucking messed up.
Girl #1: I know! He is so delusional! And he would so not be a German Shepherd.
Girl #2: No. (long pause) I wonder what type I’d be.
–Starbucks, 103rd & Broadway
Guy: So, David was asking me about Second Life. I told him I was a giant pink bunny that has cyber sex with his mother.
Girl: You are sick.
Guy: Then I told him his mom’s avatar is a clown with an enlarged anal cavity. He still doesn’t see why anyone would pay a monthly fee for it.
–72nd St
Chick #1: Who am I kidding? I don’t even have anyone to marry.
Chick #2: That’s why you should come to Mona’s and meet a nice drug addict.
–Sbarro, 49th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ellen
Chick #1: Our hot bi love is totally on the down-low.
Chick #2: We sent out saucy Christmas cards to all of our friends!
Chick #1: Shit, I totally forgot about that!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Stylish girl #1: Devorah Rose now claims she was mugged at gunpoint. What some people will do for fame! Gross!
Stylish girl #2: Yeah, I heard that they stole her penis.
–Upper East Side
Mother to friend: If our kids would just smoke weed they'd be fine.
–Borough Hall, Brooklyn
Five-year-old child, walking past table of glass bongs and pipes: Daddy, I want one!
–Astor Place
Promoter for comedy club: Free bag of weed if you come to the 9:30 show!
–Times Square
Enthusiastic, loud girl on cell: Smoking pot? So you were smoking…you don't have to be so worried about people hearing what you're saying, nobody's even listening…seriously.
–27th & 7th
Overheard by: And she had to end up being in my class..
30-something lady: When she was just selling pot to Kevin Nealon, I think that was better.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Brainy
Girl #1: I can’t believe you just felt me up!
Girl #2: I can’t believe you just pulled my shirt off!
Two guys nearby whip their heads around to look.
Girls: What are you looking at?!
–2nd St & Ave A
Overheard by: We all did
University official: I confer upon you the degree of Honorary Doctor of Science.
Female undergrad #1: I have no idea what any of that means, but I’m sure it’s important.
Female undergrad #2: Do you know what you’re saying? What you’re talking right now is waves. She invented that.
–NYU commencement, Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Brian
