Guy, jockeying for position on overcrowded train: Well, I guess I owe you dinner now.
Girl: That's it?.
–F Train
Guy, jockeying for position on overcrowded train: Well, I guess I owe you dinner now.
Girl: That's it?.
–F Train
Buff guy with tattoos: I wish I could just stop time and fuck them all!
–42nd St
Mime on cell: Who the fuck is this?
–2nd Ave & 13th St
Overheard by: Jesse D
Man pacing back and forth on cell: Yo! What the fuck is up with your fucking friend Chris? He just smiled at me and said "I'm going to fuck your wife tonight," and walked away laughing. What the fuck is that all about? (pause) What! You're working a double tonight? The fuck you are! Fuck this shit! I'm coming to get you after I get off.
–210th St & Bainbridge Ave
Overheard by: Gutterlush
Thug on cell: Lavender, potpourri… Whatever the fuck you want, they fucking got it.
–Washington Square Park
Guy on cell, angrily: Yeah, well, I never want to see you again because you're such a bitch. (pause) Whatever, fuck you! (pause) Fuck me? Fuck me? (changes tone) You wanna fuck me? (pause) Yeah, I wanna fuck you, baby… (pause) Yeah, okay, I'll be right back.
–Chelsea Market
Guy: We should go bike riding.
Girl: I can't. I forgot how to ride a bike.
Guy: You don't forget to ride a bike.
Girl: Well, I don't believe that saying, because I forgot.
Guy: If you can ride a cock, you can ride a bike.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Annonymus
Guy, walking toward Broadway: You're the one that I want.
Girl, walking toward 7th Ave: You're the one that I want.
Both, as they continue to walk away: Oo oo oo, honey!
–Times Square
Overheard by: MissPinkKate
Girl to guy: Are you drunk yet?
Guy: No.
Girl: Well, hurry up and get drunk so you can take advantage of me and my friends!
–Columbia University
Woman: What are you listening to? Can you hear me? I'm talking to you.
Guy rocking out to his music: Oh yeah! Soundgarden. So good! Listen. (hands her earphone)
Woman: Oh, I must know some other Soundgarden. (hands back earphone)
Guy, still rocking out: This is the best! It's great to have sex to!
Woman: Ew! I can't believe you just said that. Can you hear me? You can't hear me. Fuck you! Yeah, I said it.
Guy, not hearing her: I love syncopated riffs!
–Downtown 1 Train
Girl: I mean, they treat you so well…
Guy: Yeah, it's not like they're raping you.
–1st Ave & 9th St
Overheard by: Erin
Short girl, trying to reach a shelf: John*, I need your height.
John*: I'm 6'2″.
–112th St & Central Park West
Girl: You're leaving?
Guy: Yeah, I have to go watch the game with my dealer.
–West Village
Wannabe hipster: Do you guys like music?
Guys: Yeah.
Wannabe hipster: Then lemme give you a copy of my CD.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: alerns
