Chick: They just hate me so much. I bet they were so happy when we broke up last spring.
Dude: Yeah, they took me out to dinner.
–2 train
Chick: They just hate me so much. I bet they were so happy when we broke up last spring.
Dude: Yeah, they took me out to dinner.
–2 train
Guy #1: That fucking redhead bitch. I told you, man — those redheads are all the same.
Guy #2: Whoa, dude, I know you’re upset, but racism is not cool.
–57th & Park
Overheard by: rarrw
Black girl: Antoine got married, I heard.
Black dude: Yo, his wife is that bitch we menage à trois-ed, like, last year. He knew what we did to that girl, and he still married her and had a kid with her.
Black girl: That’s crazy.
Black dude: See this Swiss cheese? We put holes in that girl.
–Blimpie, 23rd & 6th
Guy on date: So, are you really a Mormon?
Girl on date: Yeah.
Guy on date: Does that mean you don’t have sex?
Girl on date: Well, not vaginally.
–Mulberry & Grand
Chick: It’s like that movie — what’s it called?
Dude: Stand by Me?
Chick: No, Gummo.
–Staten Island
Overheard by: Same thing
Guy #1: I hate it.
Guy #2: You hate circles, too.
Guy #1: Yeah, but circles suck.
–NYU
Overheard by: sunwonbay
Guy #1, to friends: Okay, so I used to drive a Cadillac.
Guy #2, sitting nearby: Wait — sorry, man, but I just had to interject when I heard you drove a Cadillac… That’s awesome, dude. Those things are like fridges, man!
Guy #1: Man! Those things are like 12 fridges! That’s like three fridges a wheel!
Guy #2: Yeah, man! That’s how motherfuckers die!
–Hookah Café, the Village
Dude #1: Yeah, man, all we need to find now is one more hot chick who’s willing to do all that, and our porno is set!
Dude #2: For sure, man.
–Central Park
PA announcement: Passengers with over-sized packages must check them at the end of the jetway.
Traveling dude #1: I have an over-sized package… But I can’t check it, baby! Woo-hoo!
Traveling dude #2: You’re a jackass.
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: octoserge
Dude #1: Whoa, dude! On the first date? That’s like anal!
Dude #2: Nah, man, that’s like drilling her a new hole!
–Silver Center, NYU
Overheard by: Gidget
