Guy #1: Are you Xander with an x or Zander with a z?
Guy #2: An x.
Guy #1: Nobody likes a Xander with a z.
–Hunter College
Guy #1: I want to finish on a girl's face one time man, that would be sic!
Guy #2: Amy told me I could do it to her once.
Guy #1: Are you serious!?? I never thought Amy was that hot, but fuck, she just moved up in my books. Was it good?
Guy #2: I couldn't do it. I would do it to a random chick, but not my girlfriend. Every time I kissed her I would only ever think, her face was decorated with my cum.
Guy #1, laughing: Decorated! You sound like the Santa Claus of porn.
–Lower East Side
Guy: Dude, is it just me, or does it hurt when you pee too?
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Kris
20-something man on cell: I just bought another Transformers t-shirt. That means I am one Transformers t-shirt away from being able to only wear Transformers t-shirts.
–9th Ave & 45th St
Overheard by: Serena
Male art teacher: What's wrong with chiffon? If I were home right now, I would be wearing chiffon.
–Hunter College High School
Bar owner to college kid wearing suit: Look atchu all dressed up. What, are you goin' on a game show or somethin?
–Citi Bar
Overheard by: Lulu
20-something girl on cell: You should've known when you liked his clothes that he was going to be overly emotional. No one who dresses that good can hold it all together.
–Locker Room, Crunch Gym
Guy to group of friends: Yeah, so I said to him, "Mike, it's a problem when you wearin' the same clothes as your daughter.'"
–5th Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: Sue
Old black lady: Oh lord, Satan’s children are walking the streets
Goth kid: Shut the fuck up, Rosa Parks. Go sit in the back of the fucking bus!
–M86 bus
Overheard by: Metal Martyr
Guy: I thought you couldn’t write diplomats tickets.
Cop: You can write ’em, they just don’t have to pay ’em!
Guy: Oh.
Cop: Yeah. Fuck them!
–6th between B & C
Professor: We will talk about the JDC–the American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee. And no, they were not dispensing marijuana.
–Queens College
Overheard by: ShaniP
Trashy JAP on cell: So I told her I was selling, and that bitch was like, "Katrina, for how much?" And I was like "Oh my god, mom, it doesn't matter how much the weed is going for, all that matters is the quality!"
–7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: penelope
Random stranger to teens: You want to buy some weed? Just come back to my mom's house!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Rhian
College student on cell: Mom, you've got to stop smoking so much weed. I mean, fuck!
–Time Square
Random dude on street: I got it all! Liquor, alcohol, marijuana, Chips Ahoy! I got it!
–44th & Broadway
Overheard by: Lagster
Street vendor: Prada bags, Louis Vuitton bags, Gucci bags, marijuana bags… (everyone looks over at him) Hey, I gotta make money somehow.
–Times Square
Overheard by: mary jane
Guy #1: I told the manager they need to start recycling.
Guy #2: Why?
Guy #1: Cuz they don't recycle.
Guy #2: So what!?
–41st & 7th
Girl on cell, defiantly: Listen, I can keep my midget in your closet whenever I damn please!
–72nd & Columbus
Man handing out cards to random passers-by: They have midget strippers, buddy, and you can bring your guitar!
–42nd & 7th
Overheard by: Katy
Guy, to friend: You can't call yourself a grown man if you sit down and your feet dangle off the chair.
–Victoria's Secret
Overheard by: Emm
Black guy pushing cart: Man, I miss my two-headed midget friend… He was my best man.
–Union Square
Woman on cell: Have I been an angry little munchkin?
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: TheMac
Idiot girl #1: Cloves taste so good!
Idiot guy: Yeah, I hear they are toasted or something.
Idiot girl #2: Oh, I love toast!
–33 Washington Square West
