Parts Of Wednesday One-Liners Are Really Quite Nice

Irate professional woman on cell: I raced down to Penn Station to buy a ticket to New Jersey, and now you tell me you're going to Hooters?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Erin and Willa

Blonde hipster: I knew I needed to get out of there when I heard her saying, "we should go to that bar next because it's near the PATH!"

–Rivington & Essex

Train conductor: The next stop is Park Place. Transfer is available to the a, c, e and PATH to Newwwwwwwwwww Jersey. I also have wonderful news that I am dying to tell you today. All 2 and 3 trains are making local stops this weekend. There are no express trains because of service changes.

–2 Train

Girl, interrupting singing couple: Guys, we need to class it up, we are not in Jersey anymore!

–5th Ave & 86th

Overheard by: GerMan in NY

Four-year-old boy: I don't wanna go to New Jersey!

–New Jersey Transit Terminal, Penn Station

Hipster: But you were in New Jersey when you got pregnant, it's okay.

–1st & St. Mark's

Posted on January 24, 2015
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Conductors, Couples, Directions, Food, Girls, Hipsters, Kids, Lower East Side, NYC Geography, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Only in New York, Penn Station, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Public Transportation, Questions, Street, Train Station, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Because You Made a Deposit and Lost Interest?

Hipster teen: Are you pissing on that building?
Rich teen with faux fur coat: Welcome to the recession, buddy!

–42nd St

Overheard by: I want a m6

Posted on January 23, 2015
Hipsters, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Pee, Questions, Rich people, Teens, Weirdness

He Also Blew the Whistle on Big Tobacco

Hipster girl on cell: Kim, I’m such a spaz! I forgot it was Wednesday, and I forgot I was supposed to meet you for lunch. So I’m on the Upper East Side and —
Black guy yelling: No, you ain’t! You at Union Square, bitch!
Hipster girl on cell: –Sorry. I’m on the Upper East Side and I don’t have time to go downtown right now.

–Union Square

Posted on January 20, 2015
Black People, Girls, Hipsters, Insults, Lies, NYC Geography, On Cell, Union Square and East Village

The Truth Is Too Boring to Tell

Lady in SUV shouting out window: What’s everyone standing in line for?
Hipster guy in line: Free Kittens!
Lady in SUV: What?
Hipster guy: Rolling Stones!
Lady in SUV: Oh.

–Art exhibition, Spring St

Overheard by: namatovu

Posted on January 18, 2015
Guys, Hipsters, Lower East Side, Questions, Strangers, Weirdness, Women

Or Has Our Ironic Disdain Finally Overtaken Our Very Souls?

Hipster guy: Did we sleep in ’till 1 pm today? Or was that yesterday?
Hipster girl: No, that was yesterday. We slept in ’till ten today.
Hipster guy: What’s wrong with us? Do we have aids?

–Williamsburg

Posted on January 13, 2015
Default, Fears, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Psychology, Questions, STDs, Threats, Williamsburg

…To Fuck the Statuary!

Crazy old hobo, holding up bags and drawing: Where's the moon? Where's the moon? If the earth is in Columbus Circle, then the moon would be on 64th and Central Park West! Come see my exhibition!
Hipster teen surrounded by giggling friends: Is your exhibition inside those bags?
Crazy old hobo: No, those are Michelle Obama's dresses. You want to be smart with me? Why don't you be smart and become an exhibitionist?
Hipster teen surrounded by giggling friends: Do you know what “exhibitionist” means?
Crazy old hobo: Of course! It's someone who goes to museums every day!

–1 Train

Posted on January 12, 2015
About Celebrities, Clothing, Crazies, Friends, Global Geography, Hipsters, Hobos, Old People, On the Subway, Questions, Teens, Visual Art, Weirdness, Words

Man's Best Wednesday One-Liner

Slightly thugged-out guy, rapping to little white poodle: Li'l coco! You's a muthafuckin' beast, yo! Li'l coco! Yeah!

–Cobble Hill, Brooklyn

Overheard by: John Bender

Guy to dog: Lady, it's just me! There's only me!

–77th St, Bay Ridge

Overheard by: Jon A.

Big burly guy to tiny yorkie, as it sniffs tree and walks away: Well, thanks for that false alarm.

–43rd St & 10th Ave

Upper West Side lady to little pampered dog with sweater: It's okay, baby, you can talk.

–80th Ave & Columbus

Hipster dog walker, whispering to herd of dachsunds: Mushhhhh…

–Central Park

Posted on January 12, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Central Park, Guys, Hipsters, Insults, Language Barrier, Man's Best Friend, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, One-liners, Parks, Pee, Street, Thugs, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Kentucy Fried Wednesday One-Liners

Guy to girl: All I know about your baby is that as long as it's in your stomach, it's not gonna be underfed. I wouldn't be surprised if it came out with a chicken wing in its mouth.

–MacDougal & 3rd St

Overheard by: Jaco

Older hipster man, in front of organic section: So these eggs are tortured chicks, and these are non-tortured chicks… Hmmm…

–Fairmay Market, Red Hook

Overheard by: RStein

Black guy: Yo, black guy! Where is the nearest place I can get fried chicken? I want some fried chicken and grape soda!

–Union Square

Random guy on escalator: Fuck anime, I can't wait for that juicy buffalo chicken sandwich.

–Kinokuniya Bookstore

Overheard by: Chris Coll

Posted on January 12, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Babies, Black People, Body Parts, Compare/Contrast, Drinks, Food, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Insults, Junk Food & Fast Food, Old People, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Store, Strangers, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Wishes & desires

McCarthyism Is Now Easier Than Ever

Random hipster guy: So yeah, I’ve lived here forever and I don’t know any Russians. I really want to know one.
Farm stand sales girl: Really? That’s so funny! I just met one a few days ago at some bar. I think he gave me his number.
Random hipster guy: Awesome! Would you give me his number? I really want to know a Russian. I mean, I’m not gay or anything, I just want to know him. You wanna give me his number?
Farm stand sales girl: Sure, here.

–SoHo Farmer’s Market

Overheard by: Kate

Posted on January 10, 2015
9 to 5-ers, Default, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Global Geography, Grocery Stores, Guys, Hipsters, Offers and requests, Questions, Soho, Wishes & desires

Hipsters