Jewish grad student #1: Are you kosher?
Jewish grad student #2: Yeah, of course! Unless it's free…
–Orchard St
Jewish grad student #1: Are you kosher?
Jewish grad student #2: Yeah, of course! Unless it's free…
–Orchard St
Hassidic Jew in front of Mitzvah Mobile: Excuse me sir, are you Jewish?
British guy: No, I'm good, thanks!
–Union Square West
Overheard by: not jewish
TA pointing at picture of Alan Greenspan: Okay, who is this?
Front row student: Alan Greenspan.
TA: And what is he best known for?
Front row student: Being Jewish.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Just sitting in the back
Dude with headphones on: How the fuck did Britney Spears get on my iPod?
–13th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Alice
Bus driver: Next stop, 47th Street. And to the asshole who has his iPod on too loud, turn it down or I'll throw you the fuck off.
–M15 Bus
Overheard by: Turned mine off immediately
White girl: It was like Hanukkah on my iPod yesterday! It said there was no battery left but it lasted for two hours!
–Bayside, Queens
Overheard by: Alexandra
Dad to girl: If you can just get over being a pissy girl, you get a free iPod Touch.
–23rd St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Jill Twiss
Really stoned girl, looking at iTunes latest releases: iFart mobile? Do they really have that for sale? iPhone can fart now? (pause) Is there anything an Apple device can't do?
–Bayside, Queens
Man playing electric guitar on subway: I take Mexican money, I take umbrellas. I take whatever you got. I have three kids at home who need iPods.
–2 Train
Overheard by: res
Jewish girl: That reminds me of this old Jewish story. Like, there was this queen with seven sons and she had to decide which one would be king, so she told all of them to go bring her a great treasure and they all came back with like gold and jewels but then the youngest one came back with this little orphan girl and he's like “Oh, she just needs love,” so the mom is like, “yes, you shall be king!”
(entire class is silent)
Random guy: Wait…what?
Jewish boy: This is why we're oppressed.
–Stuyvesant High School
Upper West Side woman #1: I keep kosher.
Upper West Side woman #2: What about the pork chop and the shrimp?
Upper West Side woman #1: Except for that. And bacon, too.
–Lincoln Towers
Dominican #1: But I'm a Jew, man!
Dominican #2: You're a Jew?
Dominican #1: Shit yeah.
Dominican #2: Man, I didn't know there was any Jewish Dominicans.
Dominican #1: Not that kind of Jew. You ever met a Dominican Jew? Dominicans aren't Jews! I just feel Jewish, man. My whole life I've been feelin' Jewish like that. You know, like if there's a penny on the street I pick it up!
–168th St Subway
Guy #1: Wait, maybe it isn't really a synagogue.
Guy #2: Maybe it's a Madrassa.
Guy #3: It's a speakeasy.
–W 86th St, Outside Society for the Advancement of Judaism
Overheard by: Emily B.
Snooty middle-aged woman to gaggle of friends: I don't care about the rest of the city, I only care about my street.
–NoHo
Overheard by: me too
Middle-aged white guy to receptionist: I am glad to be out of the old neighborhood, though. Not that I am prejudiced, but the Hassidim, I just don't like them!
–Dentist Office, Carroll Gardens
Suit: I mean, he lives on 86th Street. That's just generic land!
–L Train
Girl (loudly to friends): No, that's Bushwick. We don't want to get off there! It's really shi… (glances around nervously at people who are now looking at her) I had…a shitty… experience in Bushwick.
–L Train
Overheard by: Rebecca
Hipster guy: And look out, cuz Williamsburg's still hood, dude!
–23rd St & 8th St
Overheard by: alex
Man to young son on Yom Kippur services: Listen, Benny, if you don't sit in services, god is going to write your name in the book of death.
Benny: Book of death! Book of death!
–Congregation B'nai Israel
