[several jews are chanting and marching in times square, waving yellow flags.]Guy #1: What are they protesting?
Guy #2: I don’t know. It’s in hebrew.
–Times Square
Headline by: Q6
Runners-Up:
· “At Least They’re Supporting the Troops” – Eli
· “They’re Saying, “Can You Believe the Yellow Ones Were 50% Off?”” – seven5suited
Bossy, fanny-pack-wearing tourist lady: No, no… That map is wrong. We want Broadway and it’s … That way! [Points emphatically toward 8th avenue and storms away.]
–West 47th b/w Broadway & 8th Avenue
Overheard by: tinyfoo
Tourist, whispering to friend: There are a lot of Jewish people in here.
–B&H Photo
Tourist girl: Dad! Look! It’s Times Square! Walk this way.
–Rector St & Broadway
Overheard by: Jax
Tourist lady peering in shop window: Ooooh, calendars! Ooooh, t-shirts! Oh, we’re gonna have to come back here!
–48th & Broadway
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Tourist: Oh honey, look at this purse I bought! It’s a real coach bag and it was so cheap. I bought it on Canal street. You should see all of the Gucci, Prada, and Louis Vuitton they’ve got. I can’t believe you can get the real thing for so cheap.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Johanna
Tourist, in disbelief: People are buying shoes at 11 o’clock at night!
–33rd & Seventh
Overheard by: Gasp!
Woman #1: So our department keeps talking about how much they are trying to promote diversity and understanding of others, but get this, two weeks ago they put up garlands over the door! Like, that is so disrespectful to other religions! It gets better though, the next day they put up a plug-in menorah –somebody must have complained.
Woman #2: Oh…
Woman #1: You’re not going to believe this though, just the other day they took down the menorah. How can they be so ignorant of other religions?
Woman #2: Well… Chanukah’s over.
–120th & Amsterdam
Running jaywalker: The worst car to get hit by is a Mini Cooper!
–University & 10th St
Overheard by: Knows trucks that beg to differ
Old man crossing the street, on cell: I’m crossing the fucking street!
–42nd & Broadway
Guy wearing yarmulke, to friend: Hey, watch out! Just because you’re Jewish doesn’t mean cars won’t run you over.
–Columbus Circle
Tourist suit to other suit: New Yorkers are so rude. Just wait till you see how they all cross the street at red lights!
–Metro North Train to Grand Central
Overheard by: Courtney Messer
Cop on loudspeaker, to Asian bimbo tourist trying to walk down the middle of Canal St: Sidewalks are open to the public. Please use them.
–Canal Street
Overheard by: F Tourists
[Two cops are waiting at the light. A woman jaywalks and almost gets hit by a car.]
Male cop: Phew! That would have been a lot of paper work.
–44th & Broadway
Overheard by: Aimee
Hot drunk girl #1: Hey, Alice, can Asian people have dreadlocks?
Hot drunk guy: No, you have to be black or Jewish.
Hot drunk girl #2: I’m Jewish!
–Houston & Broadway
Overheard by: Dreadless Jew
Guy #1: I mean, what I really like about Kelly is that she is really funny…I mean actually, really funny.
Guy #2: Yeah… You usually get that with Jew girls.
Guy #1: Yeah man… Man, what was Hitler thinking?
–4 Train
Overheard by: Liz
Little boy holding pack of Orbitz gum: Mommy, is this kosher?
Mother: Sweetie, how many times do I have to tell you that we aren’t Jewish?
–Duane Reade, 50th & Broadway
Overheard by: Kyle
Guy #1: God, I hate the Heebs. How can I join Hezbollah?
Guy #2: Shut the fuck up, man! The government probably heard that!
–4 train, 86th St
Overheard by: waiting for a sniper to take him out
Hipster guy: I mean, she’s a Jewish. She’s not, like, a bad person, I think.
–44th & 9th
Overheard by: …right.
Dude: He’s that kind of super-serious Jew that doesn’t touch women. I think they call it ‘Hava Nagila.’
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Middle school girl trying to catch snowflakes in her mouth: These snowflakes are so antisemitic! They won’t go in my mouth!
–110th & Amsterdam
Blonde on cell: I just don’t see us working out. All my friends hate you, my mom hates you, and even my dog hates you… My mom hates you because you’re not Jewish… Yes, I’m aware I’m Catholic… Because Jews are financially secure!
–Starbucks, Upper West Side
Frustrated Jewish guy: I mean, look at these people and their Red Sox yarmulkes! What is this world coming to?!
–Judaism Debate, Cooper Union
Shiksa seeing menorah-shaped chocolates: Oooh, combs!
–Party, W 72nd & Broadway
Hipster #1: Have we had the bar mitzvah conversation yet?
Hipster #2: I thought you were a Mexican?
Hipster #1: I’m Brazilian. And Jewish.
Hipster #2: Are you fucking with me?
–Williamsburg
