(after a performance of Hair)
Woman: What was your favorite part?
Four-year-old girl: I liked all the parts.
Six-year-old girl: I liked the naked part.
–Delacorte Theater, Central Park
(after a performance of Hair)
Woman: What was your favorite part?
Four-year-old girl: I liked all the parts.
Six-year-old girl: I liked the naked part.
–Delacorte Theater, Central Park
College guy to eight-year-old boy: Is that your girlfriend? (points to eight-year-old girl playing in sprinklers)
Eight-year-old boy: No, I just like to get her wet.
–Central Park Playground
Conductor #1: He's like “it doesn't bite!” I'm like “I know it doesn't bike…it constricts! The last thing I need is that thing getting loose and finding some four-year-old kid wrapped in a snake. You can get on, but Daisy stays on the platform.
Conductor #2: Who brings a snake out in public anyway?
–LIRR, Woodside station
Overheard by: I'm with the conductor on this one…
Male third grader: It's illegal to marry your sibling.
Female third grader: Yeah, unless you're from Europe.
–Bus
Overheard by: wishing i was still 8
Mother: You sent 340 text messages and went over the plan. You owe me $10.
Daughter: Can I have $10?
Mother: Sure. (hands daughter $10)
Daughter: Here! (hands mother $10)
–Outside St. James Theatre
Russian woman to fat guy (after he yelled at her): Escooz me, cood you please poot your ass out of ze vindow so I can seet? (fat guy remains seated)
–B1 Bus
Overheard by: Robert
Gay: Your ass looks great! Have you started bottoming?
–Christopher St Pier
Young kid: 14th Street, like her ass on my face.
–Union Square Subway Station
Overheard by: Pza
20-something gay suit: My butt always causes friction.
–Elevator, Midtown Building
Sorority hungover girl talking about birth: I came out ass first, isn't that typical?
–Denny's
Guy to chick: We will use your ass as a presentational ass.
–Weight Room, Coles Gym
Overheard by: Ladle
Teen girl to friend: I feel like my butt just came off. You ever feel like that?
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: Alison
7-year old looking at toy ad: I want this and this…
Dad: Do you have money to buy them? Because I am not going to, and nothing in life is free.
7-year old: What about those papers you take every morning from that man? You don't pay him.
(dad goes quiet)
–5 Train
Overheard by: Guy
Little girl #1: Yeah, cookies and onions.
Little girl #2: Cookies!
Little girl #1: Onions.
Little girl #2: Cookies!
Little girl #1: Onions!
Little girl #2: Cookies!
Little girl #1 (pauses, thinks about it): Beer!
–54th & 7th
Overheard by: Chloefron
Father: We might not make it home in time for church.
Little boy: Hallelujah! We're gonna miss church!
–Bus to Staten Island
Ghetto guy: Fuck no! That nigga's soft as cotton.
–Union Square
Black guy: Yo nigga, I called this nigga and said "Yo nigga."
–59th St & 10th Ave
Overheard by: Satch
Random old black guy sitting alone on steps: Nigga who, nigga what, nigga where, nigga what?
–2nd ave and 8th st
Overheard by: evanescent
Chinese kid to another: Do I look pussy to you, nigga?
–Sunset Park, Brooklyn
White thug on cell: What? You can't call me nigga, you're white!
–Beverley Road & Ocean Parkway
White guy to Dominican guy: Yo, you look like the kinda nigga who gets bitches. Where they at?
–11th & 3rd
Overheard by: Benny the boo
