DVD salesman: I couldn’t give you a better deal if I slid down the chimney.
Little girl, whispering glumly: But we don’t have a chimney.
–A train, Brooklyn
Overheard by: VassarBoy
DVD salesman: I couldn’t give you a better deal if I slid down the chimney.
Little girl, whispering glumly: But we don’t have a chimney.
–A train, Brooklyn
Overheard by: VassarBoy
Kid #1: You’re mad short, haha.
Kid #2: Shut up! I know I’m short! I haven’t grown at all! The only thing that grew was my dick!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: A.K.
Headline by: KMW
Runners-Up:
· “And Somewhere in America, Mary Kay Letourneau’s Ears Prick Up” – Sara
· “Everyone in Dwarf Porn Goes through This Moment” – M
· “I’m a Little Teapot, 2.0” – Duncan Pflaster
· “Whatchu Talkin’ About, Willis?” – Molly
Little boy: I have the humor of a thousand men.
–LIRR to Huntington
Little girl: Look, Mommy, it’s a butterfly. Why do they call it a ‘butterfly’? Because it looks like a fly?
Little boy: It’s because it looks like butter and it flies, right, Mommy?
Mommy: Wrong.
–Pitt & Delancey
Overheard by: Manny
Boy #1: And I will milkshake all over your back.
Boy #2: And I will rub my lovely lady lumps all over your face.
–6 train
Overheard by: Alisha J.
Hot blonde: Do they kick in kick boxing?
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: haha
Tourist pointing to a church: Is that the Chrysler Building?
–E 10th & Broadway
Little boy, when train jerks to a stop: Did we just hit a deer?
–Manhattan-bound N train
Overheard by: paratactical
Teen tourist: Look, I know you guys have, like, musical theatres on Broadway and stuff, but do you guys have movie theaters?
–Canal & Broadway
Tourist pointing at S train car: This is the bus that will take us to Times Square, right?
–Platform for shuttle from Grand Central to Times Square
Overheard by: the answer is yes, but you’re not right
Young girl on phone: Hells yeah, I walked out of that class! I don’t even get why we still learn about immigration. I mean, who the fuck takes boats here anymore?
–23rd & Lex
Old lady to other: Oh… S & M… Do you like to be the dominant one?
–El Greco Diner, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Robert
Girl boarding elevator, to friend: So, it’s not good when you have to ask your boyfriend if he’s ever whipped himself… [Notices other people on elevator] Oops.
–Elevator, 34th & 1st
Chick to another: We all assume that one day you’ll be married with kids… Probably with a dungeon in the basement, but nonetheless.
–House party, 113th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: McFreaky
Leather goods hawker: I’ve got leather everything! Leather thongs, leather socks… I got a leather condom with a zipper up the side!
–Orchard, near Rivington
Overheard by: losaida
Man: That Chinese lady liked it when I whipped you.
–G train
Overheard by: Jordan
TA to another: I love that we’ve been e-mailing about a student’s paper under the subject line ‘Fetish Ball.’
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Small child, happily: … And that’s the kind of pain that never goes away!
–1 train
Overheard by: Emily Star
Dude on cell: He just ate the whole freaking diaper? So, he just shit it out in little pieces?
–Red Rock Bar, 17th & 10th
Overheard by: Scooby-Don’t
Little boy to costumed Geoffrey: You want some fried chicken? Here, have some KFC.
–Times Square, Toys “R” Us
Overheard by: i’m just here for the lego ninjas
