Charity volunteer: Would you like to sponsor this child?
Grumpy man: I got three kids at home, and besides, I never even met this bastard!
–Broadway at City Hall
Overheard by: Darrin
Charity volunteer: Would you like to sponsor this child?
Grumpy man: I got three kids at home, and besides, I never even met this bastard!
–Broadway at City Hall
Overheard by: Darrin
Young black lady to friend: I am so happy this is my last week! I hate New York City! Everybody is so rude! Today I nearly punched somebody in the face!
–Elevator, Midtown
Overheard by: thorn
Metro guy, singing: If you're happy and you know it, get a paper. If you're happy and you know it, get a paper. If you're happy and you know it, and you really want to show it. If you're happy and you know it, get a Metro.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: erkala
Six-year-old boy to mom: The things in cave paintings don't always look happy.
–81st & 1st
Overheard by: Tim
Obvious lawyer, on Yom Kippur: My finger is happy to have the day off.
–32nd St & Park Ave
Overheard by: k
6-Year-Old girl, holding onto pole and craning neck backwards: I did this once, and my head came off and they had to put a new one on.
Younger brother: That made you dumb. I want ice cream.
–Uptown 1 train
Overheard by: obyun
Three-year-old daughter: Mom! I want to sit in the pink chair!
WASP mother: Charlotte… Talk to the hand.
–Macki boutique, 146 Reade St
Overheard by: Stephanie
Subway girl in Halloween costume: I was thinking about going as Rosie the Riveter, but, like, girly Rosie the Riveter. In shorts.
–A Train
Trying-to-be-hip mom: What are vampires wearing this season?
–Halloween Adventure
Group of kids in costume, chanting: We want more candy! We want more candy! No more apples! No more apples!
–35th Ave & 29th St, Astoria
Overheard by: kathcom
Man dressed up as Michael Jackson on Halloween: I'm the King of pop, man! I'll touch your children! I'll hang your baby off a balcony!
–Downtown 6 Train
Late-night Halloween-reveler man with dirty cotton beard: I'm Santa. I'm drunk and I'm angry. Fuck balls. Reindeer balls.
–Downtown 6 train
Guy dressed as Billy Mays, in loud infomercial voice: Billy Mays here! Sick and tired of waiting for NJ Transit? Next time, drive! For the low, low price of $20 per toll! Just $4.69 per gallon!
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: J. Ra
Old man to another, about Halloween: I love young girls who dress up like pussies.
–Soho
Overheard by: Edan
Elderly woman yelling at man looking at map: Where you going? What color is your train? Is it yellow or orange? This train is green. You should get on a red train. (singing) Red, orange, yellow, green, blue. Oh, and brown. Can't forget that. Just don't go to Brooklyn. No. No. No-o-o-o. Not there.
–4 Train
Overheard by: Sunny
Girl on phone: My friend said that's probably why I don't like Brooklyn–because I have the night of the living dead outside my window…
–Amsterdam & 112th
Upper East Side man: If you really want to rough it, go to Brooklyn.
–84th & 2nd
Little girl shouting: Everyone in this entire building is going to Brooklyn!
–Grand Central
Girl, singing: Take me on! I’ll be gone, in a day or twooo!
Mother: I couldn’t stand that crap when it was released. Now you’re screaming it in my ear? I’d rather hear that shit they play nowadays, even if it’s disgusting and perverted. Why can’t you sing that?
–M96 bus
Overheard by: Treesha
Mother to small child in stall (loudly): No, it won't flush. (shouting) It won't flush! It's not like at home. It won't flush unless you touch it. (shouting) It won't flush! Stop! It's not going to flush unless you touch it. (shouting) It won't flush! Don't make me make you go in your pants! It won't flush! They're not the same.
–Women's Bathroom, JFK
Woman: I don't mean to be mean, but you know, kids who are… underdeveloped mentally?
Man: Oh, retards?
Woman, relieved: Yeah!
–Downtown Brooklyn
Overheard by: Myrtle&Carlton
Mother to son, as he exits camel ride: Were you scared?
Son: The part that was scariest was the germs.
–Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: mully
