Son to mom: I have this new kid in my class and the teacher said he is autistic. Where do autistic people come from?
Mom: Autistic chickens, they ate an autistic chicken when he was younger and out he came, out and autistic.
–W Train
Son to mom: I have this new kid in my class and the teacher said he is autistic. Where do autistic people come from?
Mom: Autistic chickens, they ate an autistic chicken when he was younger and out he came, out and autistic.
–W Train
Mother: Look! A wedding! They are taking pictures for it.
Son: A girl is marrying a girl?
Mother: No.
Son: Where's the boy?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Dan
Suit #1: No sir, the kids don’t have school off tomorrow. You believe that?
Suit #2: Wait, the Catholic Schools don’t close for the Jewish holidays? You’re kidding me!
–Elevator, Park & 33rd
Overheard by: Nick Jezarian
Nine-year-old boy stocking vegetables: Mommy, why did they make child labor laws?
Mother, hugging son: I don’t know, honey. Maybe because you’re suuuch a sweetie.
–Food Co-Op, Park Slope
Overheard by: such a thing as too much praise
Tourist lady #1: Oh, it’s worth paying the cab fare. I mean, the subway…well, after September 11th it’s just not safe, you know?
Tourist lady #2: You’ve ridden the subway before?
Tourist lady #1: No, it smells weird.
–Hunt Valley bus
Overheard by: Katie Cheek
Prospective girl #1: OK, so tomorrow, let’s all wear our “I Heart NY” t-shirts.
Prospective girl #2: Yeah! And I can wear my Columbia sweatshirt over it!
–Morningside Heights
Toddler: Why is Jack-Jack’s name “Jack-Jack”? Why not regular Jack?
Mom: That’s just a nickname. I think his real name is just plain Jack.
Toddler: Can my nickname be Johann-Johann?
–1 train
Overheard by: Matt G
Person: So how do you get girls, Mr Lynn?
Mr Lynn: I adopt them.
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: Excellence
Seven-year-old kid #1, playing with spirit stick: Man I feel like I’m five years old again!
Seven-year-old kid #2: Those were the days!
–Exiting Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: MIchelle
Guy: I’ll buy M&Ms.
Kid selling candy: Two dollars.
Guy: So, what year are you in school, bro?
Kid selling candy: Two dollars.
Guy: Do you like school? Are you doing well?
Kid selling candy: [Silence.]Guy: Well, when I was your age, I didn’t like school either, but just hang in there. Look at me — I worked hard and got to play college football.
Kid selling candy: Do you want the M&Ms?
–Sheep Meadow
Seven-year-old white boy in huge afro wig, screaming: Peace out, smokers! Peace out, jazz singers! Now, who wants my autograph?
–Playground, Houston St, Soho
Little boy with broken arm: I just won eight gold medals!
–Pier 46, Hudson River Park
Overheard by: skeptical james
Three-year-old boy: The night… why does it hurt?
–Flushing Playground
Six-year-old girl waiting for parents to pay the check, chanting: Hun-ger! Hun-ger! Hun-ger!
–Chinese Restaurant, Park Slope
Overheard by: Kendra
Little boy walking towards LIRR at rush-hour: How are we going to get through all of this?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: i feel the same way
Four-year-old boy: I gotta feelin… that tonight's gonna be a good night… that tonight's gonna be a good night… that tonight's gonna be a good good night!
–Hard Rock Cafe, Times Square
Overheard by: wooohoooo
Little girl, in Cro-Magnon section of museum: Mommy, you must have known these people. They look like you!
–American Museum of Natural History
Girl on cell: I don't know what it is with me and virgins. I think I've collected like four virgin scalps.
–Q58 Bus
Overheard by: Tom
Cashier, screaming to friend cashier: But why do you have to tell everyone that he's the guy who popped my cherry?
–72nd & 1st
Overheard by: tomas
Ghetto girl: If you got finger-popped, you ain't no virgin.
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: Jake M
Teen boy on cell: Of course I don't have any kids! Girl, you know I'm pure–like water in Africa.
–Manhattan Ave & 123rd St.
Overheard by: CreativeBunny
Hispanic girl, loudly to a group of friends : I mean, I'm still a virgin and I have three STDs!
–Ave C
