Mother: I'm very angry with you.
Daughter in stroller: You don't love me!
Mother: No, I can love you, but still be angry with you.
Daughter in stroller: That does not make sense.
–18th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Not gay in chelsea
Mother: I'm very angry with you.
Daughter in stroller: You don't love me!
Mother: No, I can love you, but still be angry with you.
Daughter in stroller: That does not make sense.
–18th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Not gay in chelsea
Little boy, looking at a replica of Michelangelo's David: Mommy, is that person naked?
Mother: Yes.
Little boy: Mommy, is that a boy or a girl?
–Arthur Ave, The Bronx
Young Latina: I want to get a tattoo.
Post-pregnancy mom friend: Your tits are going to cover that when you get old, your husband's going to have to lift up your tits to see it. You're going to be eating McDonald's and cookies for the rest of your life.
–F Train
Overheard by: the guy you were sitting next to fer chrissakes
(mother is running down the street, dragging two howling three-year-old boy twins)
Twin #1: I wanna take a taxi!
Twin #2: I wanna take a town car!
–76th & West End
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Middle school kid: I feel real horny today.
Middle school kid's mom: Me too!
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: poobear
Mother, pointing out seat to four-year-old daughter: Sit down there, honey. Don't touch anything.
Daughter, indicating her seat: Did you see? I touched it and then I licked my hand.
–F Train
Overheard by: Southern Discomforts
Mother to bouncing daughter: No, you can not look in that window! Do you want to be a Peeping Tom?
Daughter: Let me see! Let me see!
–Redhook, Brooklyn
Little girl with large nose and pink jacket: Mommy, why is it cold out?
Mom with large nose wearing blue parka: Because your father is an asshole!
–F Train
Man in shorts on cell: Well, I think what happened is he lost his pinky because of the forklift. But that's not the point of this conversation, let's talk about me here.
–186th St & Bennet Ave
Overheard by: Rina
Girl: And she's so awkward on crutches, it's so annoying!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: MR T
Guy on cell: So he tried to kill a roach and broke his knee, and that's why he's on crutches for the rest of summer.
–Union Square
Mother to young son: Sweetie, don't trip and bust your head open. I don't have no duct tape to put it back together.
–Laundromat, 48th St & 10th Ave
Blueberry salesman, as woman in crutches hobbles past: You hoppin', but you ain't stoppin'!
–Greenmarket
Mom on cell: So, she's a drunkard and you're taking her to a wine tasting?
–Park Ave
Overheard by: bad idea
Snooty hipster to girlfriend: This event is missing two things. One is wine and the other is cheese.
–Book Signing, Cobble Hill
Man to woman, looking at a wine list: Sure it's good wine. Brandon buys it by the case and takes it fishing.
–W Hotel Restaurant
Overheard by: Bob Leblaw
Crazy MTA employee lady: If you step over the line you will get a fine! And will not be able to dine on all that boxed wine! The fine, it will not be divine! And then you will whine. So don't step over the yellow line!
–4 Train
Overheard by: also stepped over the line
