Tween: Mom, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking.
Mother: What are you?
Tween, starting to sob: Stupid.
Mother: What kind of stupid?
Tween: Ten flavors of stupid.
Mom: And don't you fucking forget it!
–Battery Park City
Tween: Mom, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking.
Mother: What are you?
Tween, starting to sob: Stupid.
Mother: What kind of stupid?
Tween: Ten flavors of stupid.
Mom: And don't you fucking forget it!
–Battery Park City
Woman on cell: The inflatable penis and inflatable vagina are for me, mom, I figured the kids could use them as pillows.
–Broadway & Worth St
Overheard by: Hoping I never go on a car trip with this broad
Passerby to man peeing in the bushes: There's a kid coming, put your cock up!
–Union Square
Scene Soho chick: He's not gay, he just loves cock!
–Uncle Nick's Greek Cuisine, 9th Ave
Overheard by: Todd
Little boy throwing marshmallows: I hit him in the penis!
–Frankfort & Rose
Overheard by: Kristen
Little boy, jumping in the air, fist raised: This is Mortal Kombat!
Mother: Shut up! Shut up!
–JFK Airport
Overheard by: Bryan
Small boy, waving to man entering subway: Bye, daddy! See you tonight!
Mother: You will never see that man again.
–Broadway & Rector
Overheard by: neoteny4now
Guy on cell: It's not like I take my ear wax, put it on my penis, and use it as lube.
–Queens
Overheard by: Jess
Friends on stoop: Bro, did you see that ass? I would lick the fart out that ass!
–19th & 6th
Middle-aged yuppie, about club in Las Vegas: And I said "here's our check, and if another pubic hair falls in our drink, you're in trouble!"
–Times Square
Overheard by: Scott
Boy in car to mom: Hey mom, what about anal leakage?
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Brenna
Guy to friend: She said she was stressed out studying for finals, I didn't realize that meant she hadn't been showering. As soon as I got there we started "hitting it". It was too late when I realized how dirty she was. Dude, I literally licked a layer of crust off her.
–3rd St b/w Ave A & B
Overheard by: saffrosun
Out-of-town mother: What is that smell? It smells like shit.
Sarcastic daughter: That's New York, mom.
Random black guy: Yeah, how do you like it?
–Lincoln Center
Overheard by: ISmellNY
Mother: I'm very angry with you.
Daughter in stroller: You don't love me!
Mother: No, I can love you, but still be angry with you.
Daughter in stroller: That does not make sense.
–18th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Not gay in chelsea
Little boy, looking at a replica of Michelangelo's David: Mommy, is that person naked?
Mother: Yes.
Little boy: Mommy, is that a boy or a girl?
–Arthur Ave, The Bronx
Young Latina: I want to get a tattoo.
Post-pregnancy mom friend: Your tits are going to cover that when you get old, your husband's going to have to lift up your tits to see it. You're going to be eating McDonald's and cookies for the rest of your life.
–F Train
Overheard by: the guy you were sitting next to fer chrissakes
(mother is running down the street, dragging two howling three-year-old boy twins)
Twin #1: I wanna take a taxi!
Twin #2: I wanna take a town car!
–76th & West End
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
