Wednesday One-Liners Get Their Washington Square Park On

Mother, during tour: I noticed a lot of students have piercings. Can you recommend a good place around here?

–NYU

Grad student on cell: Hey, it's me. Tomorrow, dress appropriately. It's supposed to be 65, so I'll bring a frisbee. Afterward, I want to go to your place because there's certain things I want to do, and your place is much more (pause) conducive for certain activities.

–NYU

Overheard by: DrNels

Girl to another: I used to drink sangria before my classes at NYU.

–Rockefeller Center

NYU student to friend: Man, you gotta remember, you gotta know–you have to stuff that bitch. You gotta know.

–Weinstein Hall, University Place

NYU law student: You know what I love about this building? It smells like a new BMW.

–NYU Law Building

Posted on March 10, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Cars and Driving, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Education, Fashion, Friends, Girls, Home, Sweet Home, Moms, Nicknames & name calling, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Physical appearance, Questions, Rockefeller Center, Scents of the City, School and studying, Sensory Experiences, Students, The Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Wendy's Bipolar Puberty Should Be Entertaining

Six-year-old girl, holding hands with her mom: It feels like we are going the wrong way.
Mother: I think we are going the right way.
Six-year-old girl: Yeah, it also feels like we are going the right way, at the same time. That's weird! (giggles) Sometimes, I feel sad and happy at the same time. Isn't that weird? (more giggles)
Mother: That's not weird, honey. Mommy often feels happy and sad; that's why I need my afternoon nap every day.
Six-year-old girl: I only want to be happy, mom.
Mother: Me too…

–6th Ave & 4th St

Overheard by: Brett

Posted on March 6, 2010
Happiness, Kids, Moms, Parents, The Village, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

You Sense That You Have a Dangerously Inflated Ego?

Mother to six-year-old daughter: How do you feel?
Six-year-old girl: Like P. Diddy.

–Queens Blvd & 63rd Dr

Posted on March 5, 2010
About Celebrities, Compare/Contrast, Kids, Moms, Parents, Queens

In the Meantime, Practice with This Candy Bracelet.

Little boy, staring at ad where woman bites necklace off another woman: Ew! That's gross!
Mom: Let me know if you still feel that way in 10 years.

–D Train

Overheard by: Catherine

Posted on March 1, 2010
Age/Aging, Fashion, Kids, Moms, On the Subway, Parents, Violence

The Gasman Promised to Use His Powers Only for Good

7-year-old boy: I can beat you up in a fight!
Mom: Oh, Lord, here we go…
7-year-old boy: What?
Mom: I said “Oh, Lord, here we go”!
7-year-old boy: I can beat you in fight! You said so yourself!
Mom: When?
7-year-old boy: You said my farts could kill people!
Mom: That's right, even in a hurricane.

–7th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: EVB

Posted on February 26, 2010
Farting & Burping, Kids, Moms, Murder, Parents, Should've Used a Condom, Threats, Union Square and East Village

“I'm a Wednesday One-Liners, I'm a Lover, I'm a Child, I'm a Mother…”

Young mother to toddler son, about creepy man on train: Don't be like him when you grow up. Guys like him don't get a lotta bitches."

–4 Train

Overheard by: Mollie Reznick

JAP to companion: Gosh, I hate her. She's such a bitch. No, we haven't met before. I don't want to meet her; she's a bitch.

–L Train

Overheard by: high school was so two years ago

Woman leaving voicemail: Don't worry about the page 6 thing. It'll blow over, then we'll bury that bitch!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: David G

Gangsta: So then I had my wedding ring melted down and put in my mouth. So every time that bitch saw me smile, she saw my ring.

–A Train

Overheard by: jm

LIRR commuter: And look, I love my daughter to death, but that girl is a *bitch*!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Andy

Posted on February 24, 2010
Advice, Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Death, Fashion, Gangstas, Gripes, Insults, JAPs, Kids, Love, Marriage, Moms, Nicknames & name calling, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Passengers, Penn Station, Relationships, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

If the Amish Had an Entrance Exam

Mom to three-year-old daughter: Does it make you feel nice and happy and yummy and lovely when you go on the computer all day, or does it make you feel icky and sticky and ugly and stupid?
Three-year-old daughter, thinking: Ummmm… it depends.

–E 86th St

Overheard by: Sarah

Posted on February 20, 2010
Beauty, Compare/Contrast, Computer, Happiness, Kids, Moms, Upper East Side

Die, Wednesday-One-Liner Scum!

Male yuppie to female yuppie: So milfs are totally in right now.

–Starbucks

Overheard by: Lolita

20-something male yuppie, surrounded with Starbucks coffee containers and yelling at laptop: It took you six fucking minutes to get to the fucking page! Rawwwr! I'm going to rip you apart, you stupid fucking computer! Rawwr!

–Starbucks

Yuppie-hipster mom, to sobbing toddler: Yeah, I know, your life is just so tough.

–Metro-North

Overheard by: It's because those hemp diapers you make her wear chafe like hell.

Yuppie woman: This is like the Third World!

–8th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Sam Chalek

Posted on February 17, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Compare/Contrast, Global Geography, Hipsters, Insults, Kids, Laptop, MILF, Moms, One-liners, Parents, Starbucks, The Village, Threats, Trains Not Subway, Violence, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Yuppies

One-Liners Mean What Wednesdays Say They Mean

Blonde to brunette: So that made it even worser… Worser? More worse? Or is it just worse? Noooo. Worser. Or just worse? No! More worse. Worser?

–Downtown 1 Train

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Agitated young man: I was dramatized by all dat what just happen … dramatized, son. Dramatized.

–Hospital, 10th Ave

Overheard by: tinyfoo

Obese woman pushing stroller: Yo! I told you I don't wanna hear noes, ifs, ants, or buts about it.

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: john ainley

Young French lady: We are gonna weaponised a pumpkin!

–French Consulate, Upper East Side

Overheard by: James

Posted on February 17, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Babies, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Fat People, Food, Foreigners, Girls, Guys, Hospitals, Idiots, Moms, Office, On the Subway, One-liners, Questions, Street, Stupidity, Upper East Side, Weapons, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women, Words

Wednesday First-Trimester Liners

Mom to friend, as baby makes screeching sounds and bounces around in stroller: I swear I didn't do drugs while I was pregnant with her. But I did have quite a few raspberry martinis before I knew I was knocked up.

–Belmont Park Race Track

20-something woman on phone: I need to slap that bitch. I don't care she pregnant, her face ain't pregnant.

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: Mike

Ghetto baby momma: And it was like I was giving birth on the toilet!

–Belmont Ave & 188th St

Overheard by: Toomuchinformation

Doctor to patient: You're not pregnant, you just have gas.

–W 204th St

Overheard by: JMS

Little girl on cell: Oh my god, I know! And I'm, like, "that's why you're fucking pregnant"!

–Central Park