Girl #1: This says it's 99 degrees out.
Girl #2: Really? I would have thought it's 100 degrees.
–32nd St & Madison Ave
Girl #1: This says it's 99 degrees out.
Girl #2: Really? I would have thought it's 100 degrees.
–32nd St & Madison Ave
Girl #1: God, it’s really snowing out. I hope I make it home in one piece.
Girl #2: Is that you’re way of saying you’d like to sleepover?
Girl #1: No, that’s my way of saying I’d rather risk death than stay here with you.
–44th & 2nd
Girl looking at abstract wall installation: Oh god. This is pure art. It really speaks to me.
Boy: What does it say?
Girl: (makes loud farting sound and walks away)
–Art Exhibit, Time Warner Building
Old Spanish guy: …I mean, I’d accept welfare but I have my self-respect. Respect has to come from the self.
Old White guy: Once you respect the self, you can do anything.
–Post office, 14th between 1st & A
Overheard by: Tibbie X
Hipster girl #1: Oh my god! Did you see her shorts?
Hipster girl #2: Oh, I know. She might as well be fucking a black guy right here on the street corner.
–54th & 2nd
Overheard by: girl in shorts’ friend
Suit #1: No sir, the kids don’t have school off tomorrow. You believe that?
Suit #2: Wait, the Catholic Schools don’t close for the Jewish holidays? You’re kidding me!
–Elevator, Park & 33rd
Overheard by: Nick Jezarian
Nun: You’re not man enough to say it to my face!
Obnoxious guy: I’ll say it to your face: God is fucking dead!
–Horace Greeley Park, 35th St
Overheard by: rage gage
Suit: There are two kinds of people in this world: Those with MBAs from Harvard, and us.
–6th & 55th
Overheard by: Dan
Agitated suit on cell: A dime is worth less than a dime. A dime is worth less than a dime!
–Starbucks, Times Square
Overheard by: Ladle
Suit to another: People are stupid, and the ones that aren't stupid are dumb!
–Madison & 49th
Suit: So Jake had this Mustang, right? And then every time he'd go to the circus they'd treat him like shit.
–59th & Lexington
Overheard by: i'll take the mustang
Suit to sandwich maker: Give me one with extra juice, so I can let it drip down my chin.
–Deli, 33rd & 7th
Suit on cell: That's stupid! Just put it in a bag and throw it in the river!
–23rd & Lexington
Overheard by: tallnawkward
Ghetto girl #1: Girl, was he there when you got shot in the ass?
Ghetto girl #2: No!
Ghetto girl #1: Well, was he there when you got shot in the leg?
Ghetto girl #2: No.
–28th & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Wasn’t there either
Young black lady to friend: I am so happy this is my last week! I hate New York City! Everybody is so rude! Today I nearly punched somebody in the face!
–Elevator, Midtown
Overheard by: thorn
Metro guy, singing: If you're happy and you know it, get a paper. If you're happy and you know it, get a paper. If you're happy and you know it, and you really want to show it. If you're happy and you know it, get a Metro.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: erkala
Six-year-old boy to mom: The things in cave paintings don't always look happy.
–81st & 1st
Overheard by: Tim
Obvious lawyer, on Yom Kippur: My finger is happy to have the day off.
–32nd St & Park Ave
Overheard by: k
