Girl: Can I have that one, please?
Donut Wagon Man: Sure, here you go. That’s the Michael Jackson.
Girl: No, I wanted this other one.
Donut Wagon Man: Oh, that’s the Janet.
–West Houston and Varick
Girl: Can I have that one, please?
Donut Wagon Man: Sure, here you go. That’s the Michael Jackson.
Girl: No, I wanted this other one.
Donut Wagon Man: Oh, that’s the Janet.
–West Houston and Varick
Hot Asian chick: Oh, I feel so sexually frustrated right now!
Dude: Oh my god, I can totally help you out with that! You could even call me Mark!
Hot Asian chick: And could we talk about labor law afterwards?
Dude: Anything!
Hot Asian chick: Don’t embarrass yourself, Chad.
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: she can call me anything too
Female NYU student: Like, my mom went to NYU. Like, when it was real.
Male student: Yeah, my dad went to NYU.
Female NYU student: Like, before Stern was called Stern, and it got shut down by the government because it was like, communist.
Female NYU student: I haven't showered in like, two days. I like, stink. I can smell myself.
–Cooper Square
Overheard by: saucy jade
Dorky black kid #1: Dude, I’m a rebel.
Dorky black kid #2: Like James Dean?
Dorky black kid #3: Haha, bitch, you make sausage!
–6 train
Overheard by: Rebel WiithOut a Cause
Festering pedestrian: Well, he didn't mention my name at the Tonys, and for that I'll never forgive him.
–43rd St & 10th Ave
Overheard by: Ryan
Producer of an unsuccessful off-Broadway play: That's what this show makes me do. Everyday I get here and just squeeze my neck just like this, I just squeeze it. I don't do this anywhere else.
–Chelsea Theater
Overheard by: Kyle
Audience member to friend: Of course it sucks. It's Shakespeare.
—Macbeth Performance, Battery Park
Hipster guy: I think this play is by the same guy who wrote Ten Things I Hate about You
–NYCL Production of Shakespeare's Cymbeline, Central Park
Overheard by: digamma
Hipster girl: Last time I was in the third row, but I think I like these better. At least I won't get my head humped tonight.
—Hair Performance, Delacorte Theatre
Teenybopper at intermission: Joe Jonas would make such an incredible bodega guy!
–Richard Rodgers Theatre
Woman in deli #1: You know who else slept with Micheal Jackson? Corey Feldman.
Woman in deli #2: Who?
Woman in deli #1: You ever see Lost Boys?
Woman in deli #2: Oh right, Corey Feldman…
Woman in deli #2: Wait, which one? There's two Corey Feldmans.
–Delancey & Essex
Middle-aged woman with dog, pointing at French bulldog in the distance: Look -is that puddin’?
Friend: I hate puddin’. She always wins the costume contest.
Woman: Yeah. I mean, what was it this year? Raggedy Ann? Please.
–Ft. Tryon Dog Park
Guy to girlfriend: Will you just hold my fucking hand?
–45th & Broadway
Overheard by: waiting for my prince charming
Guy: You know, I used to think cheating on girls was wrong.
–Whitestone, Queens
Overheard by: Michelle
Young woman, looking at Lolita book jacket: Wow. This kind of reminds me of my relationship.
–Borders, 33rd & 7th
Overheard by: with a K
Man on cell: No, dear, I do not want to hear what you’re doing to yourself right now.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Alexandra
Woman, to man she’s just kissed: What was your name again?
–2nd St & 1st Ave
Man on cell: My wife is driving me crazy! She keeps following my girlfriend around! Wait, hold on, I have to take this call. Hello…Yeah I just stepped out of the office for a few minutes… Thanks, honey, you’re the best.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Sara Swank
Girl on cell: He liked me too much, so I fuckin’ dumped him.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: buffalo
Lady: So I do everything my friends do. She starting dating a Turkish guy, so so did I.
–Hookah Bar, Ave B & 6th St
Overheard by: HookahFanatic
Teenage girl to another: His name was "ingles," but he didn't know a single word of ingles. That's ironical.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Karishma Gurtu
Father to two young sons: There were 1.5 million Manhattan Indians, so only the Dutch could tell you what happened to them.
–Outside the Federal Reserve
20-something girl to friend: I think I must be French. It takes me like, five hours to finish a sandwich.
–Broadway & 39th St
Woman: At least the earrings weren't as expensive as a Chinese daughter.
–116th St & 8th
Overheard by: Matt & Stacy
Jersey tourist: It's so confusing that on the train first goes Newark Penn Station followed by New York Penn Station.
New Yorker: It's to weed out the weak.
–Mulberry Street
