Suit #1: So you liked him?
Suit #2: Yeah, he was a nice guy.
Suit #1: He has melanoma all over his face, though.
Suit #2: Yeah, I noticed that.
–1 Train
Suit #1: So you liked him?
Suit #2: Yeah, he was a nice guy.
Suit #1: He has melanoma all over his face, though.
Suit #2: Yeah, I noticed that.
–1 Train
Eight-year-old girl to eight-year-old friend: You see, I love him, but I can't make that kind of commitment right now.
–Carroll Gardens
Lone suit, shaking fists in air: Why do fools fall in love?!
–Wall Street
Overheard by: poisonivy
Woman to neighbor, shouting out of the window: She's an idiot! She knows the man's a fucking bullshit artist, and she's in love with him!
–Hoffman St & 187th
Inebriated, tattooed man on cell: You fuckin' love me?! You fuckin' know what? That's fuckin' unreal, you know why?! Because you fuckin' don't!
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: Cara
Sallow, skinny, melancholy tattooed dude: Looking for love in all the wrong places… That's why I was after her ass.
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Girl: My back, neck, shoulders, knees, and ankles hurt!
Friend: Oh, so it's like all your joints?
Girl: No! My elbows are fine.
–6 Train
Overheard by: POLA
Crazy teacher to little kids getting off train: People! We cannot convene in this manner! Do not stand around like a herd of goats!
Sane teacher: Did she just say “goats”?
–F Train
Overheard by: Afraid for the State of Education
Loud-mouthed girl to friends: She says, "I've had sex with over 100 men." And so I says, "girl! You fourteen!"
–R Train
Thirty-something black man to Catholic high school girls: So what's it take for a couple of black guys to get to play with y'all's skirts?
–Metro-North
Overheard by: kfkdjsdf
Father to infant daughter in stroller: Hey! Close your legs!
–SoHo
Professor: Your favorite teacher from high school turned out to be a pedophile? Seriously? Well was he a real pedophile, or just a hooking-up-with-teenage-students kind of pedophile?
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Jack Package
13-year-old girl on phone: So guess what… I lost my virginity last night… looks like you owe me a soda.
–H & M
Overheard by: Imani
Regular guy: You got Old English reeking out your pores… Come outside and air out.
–Frederick Douglas & 126th St
Mother of three: Come with me and I'll buy you a bag of beer! I've never had a bag of beer before and I could really use one!
–34th St & Broadway
20-something girl to another: I gave up Grey Goose for lent.
–Pizza Shop, The Bronx
Overheard by: E.J.
Guy with teardrop tattoo: Dude, moonshine is awesome. It's 99% alcohol and 1% liquor.
–L Train
Overheard by: someone's going to the ER/remedial math class tonight…
Ditzy girl: I was thinking, how come I had a much worse time junior year than I did sophomore year? Then I realized, it's because I didn't drink margaritas.
–Party
Overheard by: The House
Hobo: Where you guys from?
Tourists: Australia.
Hobo: Oh, far, far, far. Tip for you: break the law on weekends. If you break the law on weekdays, it's easier to get caught. But break it on weekends, you can get away with it.
Tourists: Oh… awesome. Thanks.
–C Train
Overheard by: freckles
Tourist daughter: Is it true that New Jersey is just like Kansas City?
Tourist dad: Yes, honey. Only dirtier.
–6 Train
Unattractive fag hag: So we went out Friday and he slept over afterwards.
Gay male friend: I knew it!
Unattractive fag hag: Yeah, but then like, the next morning, I was in the other room and I overheard him talking on his cell phone and he was saying something about how I was a brown bagger. What does that mean, that it was in the bag? Like, I'm a slut?
Gay male friend: Uhhhh… something like that.
–L Train
Grumpy old women on subway: Hey, you! I paid two dollars for this and I am tired. Give me that seat!
Teen: Umm… ahh… What the fuck?
–M Train
Overheard by: Zach
