Frustrated hobo: I don't know where y'all are from, but where I come from people acknowledge each other.
Suit: We're from New York.
–S Train
Frustrated hobo: I don't know where y'all are from, but where I come from people acknowledge each other.
Suit: We're from New York.
–S Train
Old couple to couple seated at a two-person table: Mind if we sit here? (old woman slides into the booth next to the seated woman, old man places tray on table)
Seated couple: Uh… No… (they stand up and leave)
–Cafeteria, The Met
Overheard by: Uncomfortable
Stewardess: Welcome to New York, and on behalf of United Airlines we'd like to thank you for choosing us. Once again, this really is New York.
–La Guardia Airport
Pilot: Ladies and gentleman, we're going through some turbulence. Make sure you are seated with your belts fastened. I will get back to you when we start our descent. (noise in the intercom) This is not looking good.
–Near JFK Airport
Overheard by: We managed to land…
Stewardess on flight leaving for Chicago: Now, I realize that most of you have the following safety video memorized. However, you never know if the person sitting next to you is a first time flier, particularly safety-conscious, or an FAA inspector.
–La Guardia International Airport
Flight attendant, over PA: There will be no smoking aboard this flight. Alaska Airlines is a completely smoke-free airline…and, frankly, it's just bad for your health.
–Flight to Newark Airport
Overheard by: wink
Flight attendant: Sorry, guys, but we're still waiting on one more passenger. (pause) How many of you think we should just leave him? (half the passengers raise their hands) New Yorkers, New Yorkers…
–JFK to Ft. Lauderdale Flight
Frazzled suit: I just spilled my entire coffee!
Fat man in apron working the counter, pointing to sign: No free refills.
–Coffee Shop, Lower East Side
Overheard by: Danielle
Haggard man wearing NY sweatshirt: Is this New York City?
Bunch of bros: Yeah, it is!
Haggard man wearing NY sweatshirt: This ain't New York City anymore, man. You shoulda been here forty years ago!
–Union Square
Overheard by: jvdubs
Little boy to father, watching NYPD officers standing outside on horseback: Shit, yo! The cops is here!
–W 42nd St
Overheard by: Nikki
Loudspeaker on police car to pedestrians: We have sidewalks in New York. Try using them!
–Chinatown
NYC cop to pushy tourist: Don't touch me, I have no answers for you.
–Columbus Circle
Man to cop: When are you gonna learn that, man? People suck!
–Grand Central Station
Cop on horseback to pedestrian horse admirer: Don't get any closer to the horse, unless you want rabies.
–3rd St & Thompson
Overheard by: Heather
Lost Russian woman: Excuse me, does this stop at Pring Street?
Teenager: What? Oh, you mean “Spring Street.” Yeah. Just stay on the train.
(woman walks away)
Teenager to friend: What the fuck? That's like the third one this week! Am I like an old Russian woman magnet or something?
–N Train
20-something tourist chick, screaming: I love New York!
20-something preppy black guy: Well, it doesn't love you back, so shut the fuck up.
–7th Ave & W 55th St
Overheard by: KC
Hobo: Everyone, please believe me, I had nothing, I tell you–nothing, to do with this rain!
–6 Train
Overheard by: thanks for that clearing that up
Black guy sitting on stoop to white guy standing the rain: I can't offer you a warm vagina but I can offer you a dry haven.
–1st Ave & 7th St
Overheard by: D Dot
Hobo to sky, as it begins to rain: You gotta do better than drizzling if you want to flood the Earth! We got murders and rapists down here! There are pedophiles and traffickers and thieves and liars and idolaters! I'm ready: I got the life goggles you sent me! (holds up scuba mask) Thank you for making me in your image, Lord. Amen.
–24th St b/w Broadway & 6th Ave
Overheard by: EmLo
Man, as it begins to rain: Goddamn rain, man! Only in New York!
–Park Place & Broadway
Overheard by: Bo Vanderpants
Woman on cell: Yeah, the weather is beautiful this morning. I'm strolling like a motherfucker.
–Lexington & 90th St
ASPCA volunteer: Hey, you have a moment for animals?
Busy man: Yeah… at lunch.
Onlooker: Ice cold!
–Union Square
