Young teen boy #1: If you like the pussy, you gay nigga. You only straight if you like dick. Box-eatin' nigga.
Young teen boy #2: That's, like, the coolest shit I ever heard.
–Troutman & Central, Bushwick
Overheard by: john.ainley
Young teen boy #1: If you like the pussy, you gay nigga. You only straight if you like dick. Box-eatin' nigga.
Young teen boy #2: That's, like, the coolest shit I ever heard.
–Troutman & Central, Bushwick
Overheard by: john.ainley
Girl #1: And that's how I made his dick look like a Christmas tree.
Girl #2, excitedly clapping: Decoupage!
–Midtown
Woman on cell: The inflatable penis and inflatable vagina are for me, mom, I figured the kids could use them as pillows.
–Broadway & Worth St
Overheard by: Hoping I never go on a car trip with this broad
Passerby to man peeing in the bushes: There's a kid coming, put your cock up!
–Union Square
Scene Soho chick: He's not gay, he just loves cock!
–Uncle Nick's Greek Cuisine, 9th Ave
Overheard by: Todd
Little boy throwing marshmallows: I hit him in the penis!
–Frankfort & Rose
Overheard by: Kristen
Guy on cell: It's not like I take my ear wax, put it on my penis, and use it as lube.
–Queens
Overheard by: Jess
Friends on stoop: Bro, did you see that ass? I would lick the fart out that ass!
–19th & 6th
Middle-aged yuppie, about club in Las Vegas: And I said "here's our check, and if another pubic hair falls in our drink, you're in trouble!"
–Times Square
Overheard by: Scott
Boy in car to mom: Hey mom, what about anal leakage?
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Brenna
Guy to friend: She said she was stressed out studying for finals, I didn't realize that meant she hadn't been showering. As soon as I got there we started "hitting it". It was too late when I realized how dirty she was. Dude, I literally licked a layer of crust off her.
–3rd St b/w Ave A & B
Overheard by: saffrosun
Drunk guy: First question! Who's having fun on Halloween?
Random guy in black mask: I'm having fun on Halloween!
Drunk guy: Second question! Who wants to see my cock?
(silence)
–N Train
Overheard by: Selina
Guy: So I'm like, "can I get a lighter?" and she pulls out two, and one is literally a penis with the flame coming out the tip, and the other one is a guy doing one of these moves, and the guy's like a tripod. So I'm like, "can I get one in a normal color?"
–Chinatown
African American man describing Indian restaurant to friend: That'll put fire in yo' ass.
–Midtown
Man to stranger: Hey, can I borrow you lighter? I need to go melt something in the bathroom.
–Jamaica Station
Overheard by: Tim
Conductor: Once again, there is nothing on fire! We got it under control. We apologize for the smoke. Next stop is Newark airport. There is nothing on fire.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Where there's smoke
Attractive 20-something man: Do you want me to sleep over tonight?
Attractive 20-something woman: Yes, but only if you put your penis in my vagina.
Attractive 20-something man: You've got yourself a deal.
–36th & 5th
Overheard by: lola
Drunk freshman #1: Dude, work was awful today. Usually I just sit there and drink, today I had to actually do shit. It was bad.
Drunk freshman #2, earnestly: Yo, that sucks dick, man!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Janine
Little girl: Orange juice is good, but oranges are bad. Peanut butter is good, but peanuts are bad. Why?
Friend: Hahahahaha! You said penis.
Little girl: Hahahahahaah! Penis!
–M104 Bus
Man, approaching sink: Ugh, there's never any paper towels.
Friend, walking by sinks: I mean, I know my dick's not dirty.
–Penn Station Bathroom
Overheard by: Luke Wallis
